nus medicine personal statement example

Writing Your Med School Personal Statement for NUS and NTU (2024)

In this guide, we will provide you with insights, analysis, and a clear approach to help you craft a personal statement that stands out from the crowd.

Jan 24, 2024

Writing a compelling personal statement for Medicine at NUS and NTU is a pivotal step in securing your spot in med school. While it may appear daunting, breaking down the process step by step can make it more manageable. In this guide, we will provide you with insights, analysis, and a clear approach to help you craft a personal statement that stands out from the crowd.

Understanding the Prompts

Nus medicine.

“This is an introduction of yourself to the Admissions committee and the interviewer, who would like to learn about the experiences that have shaped your values and desire to study medicine. The word limit is 500 words.”

Source: NUS Medicine

NTU Medicine: “The personal statement is an essay of not more than 300 words, introducing the applicant including, but not limited to, the reasons for wishing to study medicine and of any experience that may have driven the desire to become a doctor. Leadership experience and teamwork ability should be highlighted. The personal statement must be furnished in the application form, and it may be followed up at the interview stage.”

Source: NTU Medicine

In essence, you have to answer two critical questions in your personal statement:

• Why you? Who are you beyond your grades? What have you done outside of class to prove that you have the ability to thrive in medical school and as a future doctor?
• Why Medicine? Can you convey your passion for serving people and love for science in a compelling way?

Remember, your personal statement should reflect your unique experiences and qualities.

Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Your Personal Statement

Step 1: identify your qualities.

Start by developing a list of qualities you want to demonstrate to the admissions committee. Consider aspects like leadership, teamwork, empathy, and resilience.

Want more resources and steps to think about your personal brand and your qualities? Read our blog here . 

Step 2: Highlight Relevant Experiences

Think of events or situations from your life that showcase these qualities. Focus on experiences that have shaped your journey and made you stand out.

For this step, you don’t need to go in-depth yet. Simply think of highlights from the past two years. It’s important not to go too far back in your timeline—experiences in primary school or more than 2-3 years ago are unlikely to have much significance, unless it still remains a present part of your life and your routine.

Step 3: Qualify and Connect Your Qualities with Experiences

Choose experiences that not only align with your qualities but clearly showcase your unique attributes. It's crucial to move beyond generic statements and delve into the specifics of your actions and contributions.

For instance, if you claim to be a team player, don't merely state it – demonstrate it with precision. In group projects, assess your role critically. Do you find yourself actively listening to everyone's needs and aligning goals? Perhaps you are the one consistently taking notes and ensuring every voice is heard. Alternatively, maybe you naturally assume the role of decision-maker, ensuring a clear direction for the team.

Specificity is your secret weapon to stand out amidst fierce competition. In personal statements, qualities like empathy, teamwork, and leadership are frequently mentioned. To set yourself apart, avoid generalisations and provide concrete examples of how you embody these traits.

Generic: I am James, an ex-student of Raffles Institution, where I played for my hockey team and volunteered. I want to pursue Medicine at NTU, as a life in medicine resonates with me. My experiences have shaped me, and allowed me to be a suitable fit for Medicine. As Hockey Vice-Captain in JC, I learned how to work with a team towards a common goal, and to lead by example. The ability to stay calm even during times of pressure was something I also picked up. Furthermore, Platoon IC during my BMT, I realised the importance of building rapport with your teammates and the idea of “leading by serving”, which will be relevant with regards to serving my patients.

This statement could be written by anyone—it is simply a list of facts of what the student has done, and doesn’t showcase any real specificity on how a life in medicine actually resonates.

More targeted:

As Vice-Captain, I took on a supportive role and encouraged my team when training got tough. Ensuring everyone was coping well strengthened our bond, which made our time more enjoyable. For the latter, being responsible for the 63 men under me and answerable to those above me, I had to give instructions clearly and effectively, as well as stay calm under pressure, while still maintaining rapport with my teammates. These teachings made me a versatile leader and will help me better interact with my seniors, my team and my patients.

Step 4: Putting It All Together

Show, Don't Tell:  Instead of stating your qualities, provide concrete examples that illustrate them. Engage the reader with real-life situations.

Connect Experiences to Qualities: Explicitly connect each experience to the qualities you want to showcase for better understanding.

Balance Emotion and Reflection: Blend emotional aspects with reflective insights to add depth to your narrative. Avoid Generic Statements : Be specific and authentic to make a lasting impression.

Common Questions about NUS and NTU Medicine Personal Statements

Do i need one moment where i knew i wanted to be a doctor.

Many applicants wonder if their personal statement requires a defining moment. We’ve read so many personal statements that start with applicants describing taking care of a family member who got sick or always being really interested in science—while that’s a fine starting point, you cannot base your entire personal statement around that.

Your essay doesn't need a single moment of realization. Instead, concentrate on portraying your path and journey to medicine. It is more compelling and will convince the admissions committee that you’ve done your due diligence, you know what becoming a doctor entails—you’re not simply basing off your motivations off one encounter or scenario.

How do I stand out from the crowd? Won’t everybody have similar experiences?

Rather than stating that you possess leadership qualities or care about people—qualities that most students will write about—avoid generic statements by delving into specific incidents that have shaped you. For instance, if you claim to be service-oriented due to your volunteering experiences, explore a particular interaction or individual that left a lasting impact. Was there a moment that truly touched you or influenced your commitment to service?

I have so many relevant experiences; which one is the "best" to choose?

It's common for applicants to feel overwhelmed with numerous relevant experiences. While it's tempting to list all your achievements, it's more impactful to focus on what you've learned from these experiences. Consider the depth of your understanding and the personal growth each experience has afforded you.

For example, if you've engaged in exciting research, shadowed a family physician, and excelled as a musician, don't merely present a laundry list. Instead, emphasise the key lessons learned.

• How did your research experience contribute to your understanding of medicine?
• What insights did shadowing a family physician provide regarding teamwork in healthcare?
• How has your musical journey instilled discipline and focus, and how does it relate to your desire to be a doctor?

Always connect your experiences back to the fundamental questions: "Why you?" and "Why do you want to be a doctor?" Demonstrate how each experience has shaped your character, skills, and aspirations, making you a compelling candidate for medical school.

In essence, quality often trumps over quantity. Choose experiences that showcase your growth, highlight your qualities, and reinforce your commitment to pursuing medicine at NUS or NTU.

By following these steps and avoiding clichés, you can create a personal statement that reflects your unique journey and captivates the admissions committee. Best of luck on your journey to securing a spot at NUS or NTU med school!

Still at a loss for where to start? We get it; it’s a scary experience looking at a blank page. Download our e-guide for more tips and advice on applying to NUS and NTU Medicine.

Or simply drop us a message to get in touch with us. We work with hundreds of anxious applicants each year, and we know what it feels like to be at a loss. Our focus is always to support students through this time and ensure they have the best guidance and resources possible.

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The Only 3 Medical School Personal Statement Examples You Need to Read

Posted in: Applying to Medical School

Table of Contents

The personal statement is one of the most important parts of the med school application process because t his mini-essay is a critical opportunity for you to stand out from other prospective medical students by demonstrating your passion and personality, not just your grades.

Admissions committees receive hundreds or more AMCAS medical school applications , so yours should be unique and captivating. Your medical school personal statement shows admissions officers who you are beyond your high school or pre-med GPA , extracurriculars , and MCAT score . 

The best personal statements are… well, personal . This is your chance to share what life experiences have compelled you toward a career in healthcare or the medical field , and how those experiences shape the picture of your ideal future.

MedSchoolCoach has crucial advice for writing your personal statement . 

Read these examples of personal statements for prospective med students.

Writing a great medical school personal statement is a lot easier with the right support. We’ve helped numerous med school applicants craft top-notch personal statements and can do the same for you.

But first: 7 steps to writing an engaging personal statement.

Before you read these excellent examples, you need to understand the process of writing a personal statement.  

Include these in your medical school personal statement:

• Why you’re passionate about becoming a doctor
• Your qualities that will make you a great physician
• Personal stories that demonstrate those qualities
• Specific examples of the communities you want to serve as a member of the medical field

What are the most important things to remember when writing a medical school personal statement ?

• Begin the writing process early: Give yourself plenty of time for brainstorming and to revisit your first draft, revising it based on input from family members and undergrad professors. Consult the application timeline for your target enrollment season.
• Choose a central theme: An unfocused essay will leave readers confused and uninterested. Give your statement a clear thesis in the first paragraph that guides its formation.
• Start with a hook: Grab the reader’s attention immediately with your statement’s first sentence. Instead of opening with a conventional introduction, be creative! Begin with something unexpected.
• Be the you of today, not the you of the future: Forecasting your future as a physician can come across as empty promises. Don’t get caught up in your ambitions; instead, be honest about your current situation and interest in the field of medicine.
• Demonstrate your passion: It’s not enough to simply state your interest in becoming a doctor; you have to prove it through personal stories. Show how your perspectives have been shaped by formative experiences and how those will make you an effective physician.
• Show, don’t tell : Avoid cliches that admissions committees have heard hundreds of times, like “I want to help people.” Make your writing come alive with dynamic, persuasive storytelling that recounts your personal experiences.
• Tie everything together: Conclude by wrapping up your main points. Reiterate your passion for the medical profession, your defining personal qualities, and why you’ll make a good doctor.

You can read more about our recommended method in our step-by-step guide , but those are the major points.

Example 1 — From the Stretcher to the Spotlight: My Journey to Becoming an Emergency Medicine Physician

Another siren shrieks as the emergency room doors slide open and a team of EMTs pushes a blood-soaked stretcher through the entrance. It’s the fifth ambulance to arrive tonight — and only my first clinical shadowing experience in an emergency medicine department since my premed education began.

But it wasn’t my first time in an emergency room, and I knew I was meant to be here again.

In those crucial moments on the ER floor, many of my peers learned that they stumble in high-pressure environments. A few weeks of gunshot wounds, drug overdoses, broken bones, and deep lacerations in the busiest trauma bay in the region were enough to alter their career path.

They will be better practitioners somewhere predictable, like a pediatrician in a private practice where they choose their schedules, clients, and staff.

Every healthcare provider has their specialties, and mine are on full display in those crucial moments of lifesaving care. Why am I pursuing a career in Emergency Medicine? Because I’ve seen firsthand the miracles that Emergency Medicine physicians perform.

12 years ago, I was in an emergency room… but I was the one on the stretcher.

A forest-green Saturn coupe rolled into my parent’s driveway. The driver, my best friend Kevin, had just passed his driving test and was itching to take a late-night run to the other side of town. I had ridden with Kevin and his father many times before when he held his learner’s permit. But this time, we didn’t have an adult with us, and the joyride ended differently: with a 40-mph passenger-side collision, T-boned by a drunk driver.

I distinctly recall the sensation of being lifted out of the crumpled car by a paramedic and laid onto a stretcher. A quick drive later, I was in the care of Dr. Smith, the ER resident on call that night. Without missing a beat, he assessed my condition and provided the care I needed. When my mom thanked him for saving my life, he simply responded, “It’s what he needed.”

Now I’m watching other doctors and nurses provide this life-saving care as I observe as a premed student. I see the way the staff works together like a well-oiled machine, and it reminds me of my time in high-school theater.

Everyone has a role to play, however big or small, to make the show a success. All contributions are essential to a winning performance — even the technicians working behind the scenes. That’s what true teamwork is, and I see that same dynamic in the emergency department.

Some actors freeze during performances, overcome by stage fright. Other students are too anxious to even set foot in front of an audience; they remain backstage assisting with split-second costume changes.

Not me. I felt energized under the spotlight, deftly improvising to help my co-stars when they would forget their lines. Admittedly, I wasn’t the best actor or singer in the cast, but I provided something essential: assurance under pressure. Everyone knew me as dependable, always in their corner when something went awry. I had a reputation for remaining calm and thinking on my feet.

My ability to stay unruffled under pressure was first discovered on stage, but I can use it on a very different platform providing patient care. Now, when other people freeze under the intensity of serving public health on the front lines, I can step in and provide my calm, collected guidance to see them through.

As an ER doctor, I will have to provide that stability when a nurse gets flustered by a quarrelsome patient or shaken from an irreparably injured infant. When you’re an Emergency Medicine physician, you’re not following a script. It takes an aptitude of thinking on your toes to face the fast pace and unpredictable challenges of an emergency center.

During my time shadowing, I saw experienced physicians put those assured, gentle communication skills to use. A 13-year-old boy was admitted for a knife wound he’d received on the streets. He only spoke Spanish, but it was clear he mistrusted doctors and was alarmed by the situation. In mere minutes, one of the doctors calmed the patient so he could receive care he needed.

Let me be clear: I haven’t simply gravitated toward Emergency Medicine because I liked it most. It’s not the adrenaline or the pride that compel me. I owe Emergency Medicine my life, and I want to use my life to extend the lives of other people. Every person brought into the trauma bay could be another me , no matter what they look like.

People are more than their injury, health record, or circumstances. They are not just a task to complete or a challenge to conquer.

My childhood injury gave me an appreciation for the work of ER doctors and a compassion for patients, to foster well-being when people are most broken and vulnerable. I already have the dedication to the work and the heart for patients; I just need the medical knowledge and procedural skills to perform life-saving interventions. My ability to remain calm, think on my toes, be part of a team, and work decisively without making mistakes or overlooking critical issues will serve me well as an Emergency Medicine physician.

Some ER physicians I spoke with liked to think that they’re “a different breed” than other medical professionals — but I don’t see it that way. We’re just performing a different role than the rest of the cast.

Breaking It Down

Let’s look at what qualities make this a great personal statement for med school.

• Engaging opening: The writer painted a vivid scene that immediately puts the reader in their shoes and leaves them wanting more.
• Personal examples: The writer demonstrated his ability to stay calm, work as a team, and problem-solve through theater experience, which he also uses as a comparison. And, he explained his passion for Emergency Medical care from his childhood accident.
• Organized: The writer transitions fluidly between body paragraphs, connecting stories and ideas by emphasizing parallels and hopping back and forth between time.
• Ample length: Makes full use of the AACOMAS and AMCAS application personal statement’s character limit of 5,300 characters (including spaces), which is about 850-950 words.

Unsure what traits and clinical or research experience your preferred medical school values ? You can research their admissions requirements and mission statement using the MSAR .

Example 2 — Early Clinical Work For Empathetic Patient Care

The applicant who wrote this personal statement was accepted into University of South Florida Morsani College of Medicine, University of Central Florida College of Medicine, and Tufts University School of Medicine.

As I walked briskly down the hall to keep up during our daily rounds in the ICU, I heard the steady beeping of Michelle’s cardiac monitor and saw a ruby ornament twinkling on the small Christmas tree beside her. She was always alone, but someone had decorated her room for the holidays.

It warmed my heart that I wasn’t the only one who saw her as more than a patient in a coma. I continually felt guilty that I couldn’t spend more time with her; her usual companions were ventilators, IV bags, and catheters, not to mention the golf ball-sized tumors along her spine. Every day, I thought about running to Michelle’s bedside to do anything I could for her.

Thus, I was taken aback when my advisor, who was visiting me that day, asked me if I was okay. It never crossed my mind that at age 17, my peers might not be able to handle the tragedies that healthcare workers consistently face. These situations were difficult, but they invoked humanity and compassion from me. I knew I wanted to pursue medicine. And I knew I could do it.

From my senior year of high school to my senior year of college, I continued to explore my passion for patient interaction.

At the Stepp Lab, I was charged with contacting potential study participants for a study focusing on speech symptoms in individuals with Parkinson’s Disease. The study would help future patients, but I couldn’t help but think: “What are we doing for these patients in return?” I worried that the heart and soul behind the research would get lost in the mix of acoustic data and participant ID numbers.

But my fears were put to rest by Richard, the self-proclaimed “Parkinson’s Song & Dance Man,” who recorded himself singing show tunes as part of his therapy. Knowing that he was legally blind and unable to read caller ID, I was always thrilled when he recognized my voice. The spirit in his voice indicated that my interest in him and his journey with Parkinson’s was meaningful. Talking with him inspired me to dive deeper, which led to an appreciative understanding of his time as a sergeant in the U.S. military.

It was an important reminder: my interest and care are just as important as an effective prescribed treatment plan.

Following graduation, I began my work as a medical assistant for a dermatologist. My experience with a patient, Joann, validated my ability to provide excellent hands-on patient care. Other physicians prescribed her painkillers to relieve the excruciating pain from the shingles rash, which presented as a fiery trail of blisters wrapped around her torso. But these painkillers offered no relief and made her so drowsy that she fell one night on the way to the bathroom.

Joann was tired, suffering, and beaten down. The lidocaine patches we initially prescribed would be a much safer option, but I refused for her to pay $250, as she was on the brink of losing her job. When she returned to the office a week later, she held my hand and cried tears of joy because I found her affordable patches, which helped her pain without the systemic effects.

The joy that pierced through the weariness in her eyes immediately confirmed that direct patient care like this was what I was meant to do. As I passed her a tissue, I felt ecstatic that I could make such a difference, and I sought to do more.

Since graduation, I have been volunteering at Open Door, a small pantry that serves a primarily Hispanic community of lower socioeconomic families. It is gut-wrenching to explain that we cannot give them certain items when our stock is low. After all, the fresh fruits and vegetables I serve are fundamental to their culturally-inspired meals.

For the first time, I found myself serving anguish rather than a helping hand. Usually, uplifting moments strengthen one’s desire to become a physician, but in this case, it was my ability to handle the low points that reignited my passion for aiding others.

After running out of produce one day, I was confused as to why a woman thanked me. Through translation by a fellow volunteer, I learned it was because of my positivity. She taught me that the way I approach unfavorable situations affects another’s perception and that my spirited attitude breaks through language barriers.

This volunteer work served as a wake-up call to the unacceptable fact that U.S. citizens’ health suffers due to lack of access to healthy foods. If someone cannot afford healthy foods, they may not have access to healthcare. In the future, I want to partner with other food banks to offer free services like blood pressure readings. I have always wanted to help people, but I now have a particular interest in bringing help to people who cannot afford it.

While the foundation of medicine is scientific knowledge, the foundation of healthcare is the word “care” itself. I never found out what happened to Michelle and her Christmas tree, but I still wonder about her to this day, and she has strengthened my passion to serve others. A sense of excitement and comfort stems from knowing that I will be there for people on their worst days, since I have already seen the impact my support has had.

In my mind, becoming a physician is not a choice but a natural next step to continue bringing humanity and compassion to those around me.

How did this personal statement grab and sustain attention so well?

• Personalization: Everything about this statement helps you to understand the writer, from their personal experiences to their hope for how their future career will look.
• Showing, not telling: From the first sentence, the reader is hooked. This prospective medical student has plenty of great “on paper” experience (early shadowing, clinical experience, etc.), but they showed this with storytelling, not by repeating their CV.
• Empathy: An admissions committee reading this personal statement would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this student cares deeply about their patients. They remember first names, individual details, and the emotions that each patient made them feel.
• A clear path forward: The writer doesn’t just want to work in the medical field — they have a passion for exactly how they want to impact the communities they serve. Outside of strictly medical work, they care about the way finances can limit access to healthcare and the struggle to find healthy food in food deserts around the US .

Read Next: How Hard Is It to Get Into Medical School?

Example 3 — Beyond the Diagnosis: The Importance of Individualized Care in Medicine

The applicant who wrote this personal statement was accepted into Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine and Nova Southeastern University College Of Osteopathic Medicine.

Dr. Haywood sighs and shakes her head upon opening the chart. “I was worried about her A1C. It’s up again. Hypertension, too. Alright, let’s go.”

As we enter the patient’s room, I’m expecting the news about her blood sugar and pressure to fill the room. Instead, Dr. Haywood says, “Roseline! How are you doing? How’s your girl, doing well?”

Dr. Haywood continues to ask questions, genuinely interested in Roseline’s experience as a new mother. If not for the parchment-lined examination chair and anatomy posters plastered to the wall, this exchange could be happening in a grocery store. What about her A1C? Her blood pressure? Potential Type II diabetes?

As I continue to listen, Dr. Haywood discovers that Roseline’s mother moved in with her, cooking Haitian meals I recognize as high on the glycemic index. Dr. Haywood effortlessly evolves their conversation to focus on these. Being Haitian herself, she knows some traditional dishes are healthier than others and advises Roseline to avoid those that might exacerbate her high blood sugar and blood pressure. Dr. Haywood also suggests Roseline incorporate exercise by bringing her baby on a walk through her neighborhood.

During my shadowing experience, I observed one of the core components of being a physician through several encounters like this one. By establishing a relationship with her patient where Roseline was comfortable sharing the details of new motherhood, Dr. Haywood was able to individualize her approach to lowering the patient’s A1C and hypertension. Inspired by her ability to treat the whole person , I began to adopt a similar practice as a tutor for elementary kids in underserved areas of D.C.

Shaniyah did not like Zoom, or math for that matter. When I first met her as a prospective tutee online, she preferred to keep her microphone muted and would claim she was finished with her math homework after barely attempting the first problem. Realizing that basing our sessions solely on math would be fruitless, I adapted my tutoring style to incorporate some of the things for which she had a natural affinity.

The first step was acknowledging the difficulties a virtual environment posed to effective communication, particularly the ease at which distractions might take over. After sharing this with Shaniyah, she immediately disclosed her struggles to share her work with me. With this information, I found an online platform that allowed us to visualize each other’s work.

This obstacle in communication overcome, Shaniyah felt more comfortable sharing details about herself that I utilized as her tutor. Her love of soccer gave me the idea to use the concept of goal scoring to help with addition, and soon Shaniyah’s math skills and enthusiasm began to improve. As our relationship grew, so did her successes, and I suspect the feelings I experienced as her tutor are the same as a physician’s when their patient responds well to prescribed treatment.

I believe this skill, caring for someone as a whole person , that I have learned and practiced through shadowing and tutoring is the central tenet of medicine that allows a doctor to successfully treat their patients.

Inspired by talking with patients who had received life-altering organ transplants during my shadowing experience, I created a club called D.C. Donors for Georgetown University students to encourage their peers to register as organ donors or donate blood. This experience taught me that to truly serve a person, you must involve your whole person, too.

In starting this club to help those in need of transplants, I had to dedicate my time and effort beyond just my physical interactions with these patients. For instance, this involved reaching out to D.C.’s organ procurement organization to inquire about a potential partnership with my club, to which they agreed. In addition, I organized tabling events on campus, which required significant planning and communication with both club members and my university.

Though exciting, starting a club was also a difficult process, especially given the limitations the pandemic imposed on in-person meetings and events. To adapt, I had to plan more engaging meetings, designing virtual activities to make members more comfortable contributing their ideas. In addition, planning a blood drive required extensive communication with my university to ensure the safety of the staff and participants during the pandemic.

Ultimately, I believe these behind-the-scenes actions were instrumental in addressing the need for organ and blood donors in the D.C. area.

From these experiences, I have grown to believe that good medicine not only necessitates the physician cares for her patient as a whole, but also that she fully commits her whole person to the care of the patient. Tutoring and starting D.C. Donors not only allowed me to develop these skills but also to experience such fulfilling emotions: the pride I had in Shaniyah when her math improved, the gratefulness I felt when she confided in me, the steadfast commitment I expressed to transplant patients, and the joy I had in collaborating with other passionate club members.

I envision a career as a physician to demand these skills of me and more, and I have confirmed my desire to become one after feeling so enriched by practicing them.

Here’s what makes this personal statement such a good example of what works:

• Desirable qualities: The student clearly demonstrates qualities any school would want in an applicant: teachability, adaptability, leadership, organization, and empathy, to name a few. This again uses the “show, don’t tell” method, allowing the readers to understand the student without hand-holding.
• Personalized storytelling: Many in the healthcare profession will connect with experiences like the ones expressed here, such as addressing patient concerns relationally or the lack of blood donors during the recent pandemic. The writer automatically makes a personal link between themselves and the admissions committees reading this statement.
• Extensive (but not too long): Without feeling too wordy, this personal statement uses nearly all of the 5,300 characters allowed on the AMCAS application. There’s no fluff left in the final draft, only what matters.

Avoid These Common Mistakes

You can learn a lot from those personal statements. They avoid the most common mistakes that med school applicants make when writing the medical school personal statement.

Here are some things you should avoid in your personal statement if you want to be a doctor:

• Name-dropping: Admissions counselors won’t be impressed when you brag about your highly regarded family members, associates, or mentors. You need to stand on your own feet — not someone else’s.
• Dishonesty: Lies and exaggerations can torpedo your application. And they’re bad habits for anyone entering the medical field. Don’t do it.
• Unedited AI content: Artificial intelligence can help you edit and improve your writing, but don’t let it do the work for you. Your statement needs to be authentic, which means in your voice! A chatbot can’t feel or adequately convey your own empathy, compassion, trauma, drive, or personality.
• Grammatical errors and typos: Have someone reliable proofread your essay and scour it for typos, misspellings, and punctuation errors. Even free grammar-checking apps can catch mistakes!
• Telling without showing: I’ll reiterate how important it is to prove your self-descriptive statements with real-life examples. Telling without showing won’t persuade readers.
• Too many examples: Have 3-4 solid personal stories at most; only include a few that are crucial for providing your points. The more experiences you share, the less impact they’ll make.
• Fluff and filler: Cut all fluff, filler words, and irrelevant points. There are many other places you can include information in your application, such as secondary essays on your clinical experience, volunteer work, and research projects . 

You can find more valuable do’s and don’ts in our in-depth guide to writing your best personal statement .

Need extra help? We’ve got you covered.

Schedule a meeting with medschoolcoach for expert support on writing and editing your personal statement. we’re here to help you impress medical school admissions committees .

Renee Marinelli, MD

Dr. Marinelli has practiced family medicine, served on the University of California Admissions Committee, and has helped hundreds of students get into medical school. She spearheads a team of physician advisors who guide MedSchoolCoach students.

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October 25, 2023

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10 Tips for Writing Your Medicine Personal Statement

Your personal statement, especially for medical school, has the potential to make a strong, positive impact on the admissions committee. It is the one chance for you to add your personal voice to your application. It definitely requires careful thought and endless rewriting. Here’s how you can write a compelling medicine personal statement to get the interview offers you want.

1. Make it examples-driven

Show, don’t tell. Simply telling the admissions officers of your personal qualities (compassion, leadership, team spirit etc) isn’t convincing in the slightest. You have to incorporate actual experiences—from the activities you’ve undertaken to the achievements you’ve attained. It is these examples that will serve as “evidence” to prove your point.

2. Stay focused and eliminate excess

With a strict word limit, your personal statement cannot be your whole life story. You have to be extremely selective and include only the most impactful and meaningful experiences and achievements. Ideally, they should represent you and your drive to study medicine. Some activities can be omitted entirely. Remember, there is usually a section in the application form for you to fill in your extracurricular activities and/or a page to submit your portfolio, CIP and CCA records. Do not attempt to “cram” everything into your personal statement, as that would strip your essay of focus and clarity.  

3. Favour reflection over description

Besides the fact that you have a word limit to work around, descriptions (what you did) show little in comparison to reflections (what you learnt). Your personal statement should show your insights and motivations. Therefore, for each “example” that you bring in, seek to bring out its significance i.e. what you learnt or gained from it. This could be, for instance, reaffirming your passion to study medicine, rekindling your respect for healthcare professionals, rediscovering your dedication to serving others, and so on.

4. Keep in mind the selection criteria

Familiarise yourself with the desired qualities of a doctor. This is likely what the medical schools are looking out for when screening potential candidates. Try to angle your personal statement to include these qualities and criteria. A list of key qualities is given in the Singapore Medicine Personal Statement Guide (screenshot below):

Here is an insightful line highlighted from the NUS Medicine admissions website :

Oxford Medicine’s selection criteria is another a good reference:

5. Steer clear of clichés

Wanting to help people and having a passion for science may be your genuine motivations, but they are overused. Moreover, such statements are way too generic. Be specific and bring in your personal experiences. What is unique about your story? What sets you apart from the other candidates?

6. Avoid verbose language

Many experts advocate the use of simple and concise language in writing personal statements—for good reason. Ostentatious expressions convolute rather than enhance your essay. Good writing is not prefaced on using “big” words; the key is to use felicitous vocabulary without going overboard. Instead of searching the thesaurus for words that no one ever uses, vary your sentence structure to make your writing less banal.

7. Ensure perfect grammar and clear structure

It goes without saying that proofreading must be done to ensure perfect language. As for structure, ensure that your essay flows coherently and logically. While there is no fixed format, if you’re uncertain, a trusty framework to fall back on is the 5-point essay format. Your first paragraph is the introduction with a “hook” to catch the reader’s attention, followed by three body paragraphs that each convey a main point, and lastly a concluding paragraph to summarise and restate the central theme (which, in this case, could be “why I want to do medicine”).

8. Start early and refine continually

Generally, the advice would be to start on your personal statement as early as possible. Try to give yourself at least a month before the deadline. This is so that you have ample time to write, set it aside, and review it countless times. Be prepared to keep chipping away at it and even to make big changes; some people have written 20 iterations before settling on their final essay. For local (Singapore) medicine applications, you can start thinking about your personal statement as soon as your A Levels end. Usually people start writing in January the next year. Some may start when A Level results are released (late February), which will give you about two weeks before the application deadline (mid-March).

9. Seek a second opinion

Getting someone to read through your personal statement can definitely help to pinpoint areas you may have overlooked. This could be both in terms of the language (grammatical errors, writing style, structure etc) and content (what you have chosen to include, how you have presented it). This is another benefit of starting early—so that you have time for others to give their feedback as well.

10. Make the most of what you have

It doesn’t matter what experiences you have; it matters how you write about them . You may not have been Student Council president or team captain, organised two overseas CIP trips, or shadowed at three different hospitals. Your portfolio may not seem extraordinary. Indeed, you may feel “inferior” compared to your schoolmate, who has taken up multiple leadership positions, spearheaded his own CIP project, and has prestigious accolades under his belt.

No matter what activities and achievements are listed on your portfolio, you can derive meaning from them. A seemingly ordinary experience can be made momentous—it all depends on how you choose to present it.

As a simple example: You have never organised your own CIP project, nor had any medical work experience. But you have volunteered weekly at a nursing home for two years. Highlight your long-term commitment to service and your innate compassion when interacting with the elderly. Your proactiveness in guiding new volunteers shows initiative and leadership. Seeing the debilitating ailments afflicting the elderly—both physical and cognitive decline—have galvanised you to read and think more deeply on issues of mortality and end-of-life care.

I believe that if you are applying to medicine, you have an undying passion. You are here for a reason. That is your original and unique “why”. Try to infuse that into your personal statement. Let your passion radiate through.

More articles on writing your medical school personal statement

• How to Write Your Medicine Personal Statement (Singapore): The Complete Guide
• How to Write Your UCAS Medicine Personal Statement (UK): The Complete Guide
• UCAS Medicine Personal Statement (UK) Example

Check out  other articles on medical school applications , or specifically on medical school personal statements . If there’s anything you’d like to see, or if you have any questions at all, please leave a comment below, or  drop me a message  anytime. I read and respond to every message and email.

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Medicine Personal Statement Example 2

Check out this successful Medicine Personal Statement example. The applicant received offers from Bristol and Plymouth - and also got an interview at Cambridge.

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Check out this successful Medicine Personal Statement example for inspiration to help you plan and structure your Personal Statement .

Shadowing surgeons racing against the clock to save a kidney was one of the most exciting experiences of my life. With only twenty-five minutes to resect an extensive tumour before the entire kidney was lost, I was moved by the surgeons’ determination and synergy. However, the limitations of medicine were demonstrated when I was told the patient had an additional unresectable tumour. This experience illustrated the responsibility entrusted to medical professionals; not always to save a life but to treat patients with a biopsychosocial approach. Reflecting on this, I knew I wanted to learn more about medicine. However, it was after observing the communication skills and empathy of a physician allaying a pre-operative patient’s fears that my decision to become a doctor was confirmed.

In my local hospice I was inspired by a doctor comforting an anxious, elderly patient; adapting his terminology to ensure effective communication. In my eight months there I developed the clarity of my conversation with patients, in a way that benefitted their needs. I used this skill at a GP surgery with an elderly patient who was distressed about waiting times. Using a calm demeanour, I deescalated the situation and sought help from a receptionist, who had previously established a rapport with the patient. My leadership skills were enhanced through the realisation that being a good leader involves asking for guidance. My aim is to further these skills in my future medical career.

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Exposure to multiple GP surgeries highlighted how a large elderly population correlates with the need for more home visits; thereby illustrating the effect of demographic transition in healthcare. The importance of teamwork was demonstrated in the multidisciplinary team meetings I have observed on various placements. The healthcare professionals deliberated in order to ensure the best quality of life for the patient.

One of my responsibilities as head of boarding is to comfort younger students who are missing home and this helped me realise that collaboration within the boarding house helps to improve their well-being. Understanding and empathy comes from staff and students alike and my teamwork has improved. Responsibility and advocating for patients in a team is something I look forward to in my future career.

At the hospice it was moving to witness the composure of a doctor who was delivering news of a patient’s rapid deterioration. This exemplified how emotionally demanding medicine is. However, when facing academic challenges I have developed a positive work-life balance. Running and playing the violin provide stress outlets and I look forward to representing my university’s orchestra. There are many new challenges as a medical student and doctor, however, I know that I have the emotional maturity to thrive in a high-pressure environment.

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Research is a vital element of medicine as it advances patient care. At Nuffield Health an umbrella sticker on a patient’s door is the universal symbol for dementia. This inspired me as it is an innovative way to maintain confidentiality whilst adapting to patients’ needs and I wrote about this in an article I published in Mentor Magazine. After reading ‘Somebody I Used To Know’ by Wendy Mitchell, which details her experience with dementia, I researched dementia treatment. This topic was further explored within my EPQ where I investigated socially assistive robots that improve behavioural and psychological dementia symptoms, through social exchange. This experience helped me to appreciate the importance of research in evidence-based medicine. I look forward to improving my research skills at medical school.

The empathy and compassion I have seen in healthcare professionals has helped me confirm my commitment to holistic, patient-centred care. I appreciate the academic, emotional and practical challenges of a career in medicine and feel well prepared to meet these as I enter medical school next year.

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The Key to Writing Effective NUS Personal Statements

Table of Contents

An  NUS personal statement  is an essay required by an application to the National University of Singapore. It is a brief description of who you are as a student and an overview of the things that matter to you. 

Personal statements are not unique to the National University of Singapore. Students will encounter these assignments throughout their academic life and even when they transition into professional life.

Personal statements are common in job applications, internships, and applications to particular programs. They are a way to introduce yourself to recruiters and admissions board representatives and create a lasting impression.

The Importance of an Effective NUS Personal Statement in the Academe

Personal statements are crucial in the application process. Recruiters will want to gain a deep understanding of applicants they accept into their program or job. This matters greatly because they want to ensure that successful candidates deserve their spot.

Conversely, a personal statement is a golden opportunity to highlight your best qualifications . It showcases your writing ability and your exposition skills. The adaptability of a personal statement allows for a wide range of approaches that let you inject your personality into your content.

The most significant advantage of a personal statement is that  it paints you as a person rather than just another candidate . It’s a potent tool for expressing individuality and setting you and your story apart from other applicants.

If you want to enjoy all these benefits, the ultimate one being a successful application, heed these few tips.

Tips for Writing an Effective NUS Personal Statement

If you’re unsure how to start your personal statement, try a structured approach. Here are some tips you can follow to ensure you provide the information admissions boards need.

• Showcase your unique personality and background  – focus on experiences, skills, and achievements that make you stand out from other applicants. 
• Use strong storytelling techniques to keep the reader engaged  – ensure a clear narrative flow with an introduction, body, and conclusion. 
• Incorporate personal anecdotes  -demonstrate your growth and development over time. 
• Keep it concise  – highlight critical points without superfluous words. 
• Avoid clichés and platitudes  – devise creative ways to express yourself and add interesting facts and figures where appropriate.

While following these tips won’t make you a master overnight, they will help you form writing habits applicable to all types of content.

NUS Personal Statement Examples

I have always had a keen interest in the field of technology. As a professional, I have grown into an individual with considerable experience and expertise in this area. I recently attended an event to discuss the latest trends in artificial intelligence, which further fuelled my enthusiasm for innovation and cutting-edge technological solutions. Events like these regularly leave me invigorated and inspired to delve deeper into innovative ideas and contribute my insights where applicable. 

I am proud of my aptitude for problem-solving and finding creative solutions to address issues efficiently. By leveraging my knack for recognizing patterns, I can ascertain resolutions that are unorthodox yet efficient at achieving desired outcomes. My preference for outside-the-box thinking has earned me recognition from peers who consider me a formidable asset. I have a reputation for embracing challenges while utilizing common sense and poise in navigating obstacles. 

A strong work ethic and unwavering ambition drive me. This intense desire to succeed has enabled me to consistently strive toward greater heights despite any tribulations I may encounter. 

I strongly feel I possess the qualities necessary to excel in a fast-paced and constantly evolving environment such as NUS. I look forward to contributing meaningfully towards the University’s goals of fostering a more technically competent future generation.

I have been interested in starting a career related to education since I first read about it. It has been an essential part of my life, so I have devoted many hours of research. With each article or book I read, I learn something new, furthering my understanding and expanding my knowledge base. 

Through these opportunities, I can explain my thoughts and gain even more insight from professionals in the area. 

I look forward to taking this journey further by applying for the scholarship to complete my studies on the topic. As part of this application process, I plan to include relevant evidence and anecdotes demonstrating my commitment and passion for the subject matter. I believe I can help showcase why I should be selected for this opportunity by submitting all necessary documents.

I have been working with Information Technology for the past three years. Throughout my professional career, I have asked myself questions to better understand different aspects of IT, ranging from software development to network security. Over those years, I gained good knowledge in this field and was able to apply it in many of my projects. 

I am now interested in taking an international course to further develop my expertise. Being part of your school would allow me to learn more about current trends and techniques. It can expose me to new applications that can help improve my work or service quality. Furthermore, it will also allow me to build strong connections within the sector. 

I believe that I could be a valuable asset to any organization looking for someone with a comprehensive understanding of the subject. That is why I’m applying for this course – it’s like a necessary step in order to reach my long-term career goals. With my commitment to continuous learning, I’m confident I’ll make a good impression at the National University of Singapore.

I have a long-standing interest in IT. My knowledge of this field has enabled me to successfully know, understand and apply its principles. I have used my subject mastery during job interviews to communicate clearly and coherently with potential employers about their respective needs for my services. 

Additionally, my impressive track record of achievements makes me an ideal candidate for an IT course at the National University of Singapore. My involvement in community service projects has exposed me to a variety of different technologies, which will serve as excellent support for my studies. All these experiences prove to be beneficial in allowing me to develop further and improve my understanding of IT concepts.

 I am an experienced Finance student seeking to apply for a postgraduate course at the National University of Singapore. With my knowledge and experience, I believe that I can contribute to the University’s vibrant academic environment and community. 

 I have been exposed to finance studies since I was in high school, where I studied economics, accounting, and financial management. This gave me a well-rounded understanding of the industry. During my time as a university student, I had the opportunity to participate in several research projects focusing on financial markets. This has enabled me to gain insights into the nuances of investing and trading, allowing me to develop my analytical skills further. 

Moreover, I have taken part in various activities related to financial analysis during my years as a student. For example, I wrote essays on financial topics such as derivatives, capital structure theory, and risk management techniques. Furthermore, I also organized events such as panel discussions with industry professionals, which allowed me to interact with other students and experts alike. These experiences served to hone my problem-solving capabilities and taught me how to think critically about financial matters. 

Overall, I believe that I possess the necessary qualities to excel in a postgraduate program at NUS. My expertise and interest in finance, coupled with my strong communication and critical thinking will make me an ideal candidate for the course.

An  NUS personal statement  is a special essay that candidates submit to the admissions board. These essays showcase an individual’s background and personality. Make sure to remember our simple tips as you write your NUS personal statement. You are more likely to write a potent essay when you know the aspects you need to emphasize. 

Again, keep your statement short, concise, and authentic. We hope these tips give you the know-how and confidence to write a compelling university personal statement. Good luck!

Abir Ghenaiet

Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.

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Top 15 medical school personal statement examples.

Reviewed by:

Jonathan Preminger

Former Admissions Committee Member, Hofstra-Northwell School of Medicine

Reviewed: 5/13/22

Does the perfect medical school personal statement exist? What do good personal statements for medical school look like? All of these questions and more will be answered below!

When you’re writing your personal statement for medical school, you’ll want to keep the three E’s in mind: engagement, enthusiasm, and explanation. 

You want your personal statement to be engaging throughout, to clearly illustrate your enthusiasm to join the medical school, and to explain your motivation for pursuing this field. 

But this is easier said than done! Including all of these elements in your personal statement while simultaneously ensuring it stands out and showcases your individuality can be challenging. 

Luckily, this guide will ease these difficulties! In it, we’ll not only provide you with a step-by-step of how to write your own personal statement, but we’ll also go over 15 medical school personal statement examples!

Get The Ultimate Guide on Writing an Unforgettable Personal Statement

15 Medical School Personal Statement Examples

Before we give you a run down of how to write a winning personal statement for medical school, it will be beneficial to read some samples and explain why they’re successful! Here are 15 excellent personal statement for medical school examples you can draw inspiration from!

Please note, the names and identifying details in these personal statements have been removed to ensure anonymity. 

Sarah was the second victim they brought to the hospital that night. Pellets from the shotgun covered the entire right side of her body. The shooter had hit multiple individuals at the birthday party, and Sarah was transported to our emergency department soon after. She was the first patient I ever treated as an EMT. 

After evaluating and stabilizing her condition, I used saline and gauze to clean the blood off her exposed skin, making a special effort to gently wash the contours of her face. Jeff, the ER technician I was shadowing that evening, diligently watched my every move. "He's got you looking good as new!" he said, breaking the heavy silence. At that moment, I saw a delicate smile emerge from her shocked, shell-like demeanor. I had treated her physical injuries, and he had addressed her mental well-being. Together, we had cared for the patient. At that moment, I began to understand the charge and function of the modern physician. My journey to that emergency room began in an unexpected place: the rolling foothills of Kentucky in the small town I call home, surrounded by cow farms and fields of soybeans. My parents had immigrated from Nigeria and taught English and Philosophy at our local university. My childhood was a perpetual humanities classroom. Seneca's "Letters from a Stoic" better characterized my understanding of human suffering than the halls of a hospital emergency department. 

However, by my freshman year of high school, I knew that my academic interest lay not within ancient literature but rather within the living cell. In my mind, the cell is a metropolis waiting to be explored. I began to carve a professional path to pursue my fascination with the cell and study the mechanisms that create and sustain life. However, during my sophomore year, my diabetic father’s cognitive impairments developed into severe early-onset dementia. As much as I hoped to pursue my interests as a molecular biologist, my perspectives began to shift. My upbringing in the humanities and the challenge of caring for my father deepened my understanding of how our shared human experiences give meaning to our existence. I could spend my life studying the functions and pathologies of the cell. But, beyond the boundaries of its membrane, remains a human being with tangible, immediate needs, just like my father.

To understand this duality between biology and the human experience, I have spent my college career immersed in both research and clinical activities. My passion for molecular biology is manifested in my undergraduate research. My scientific exploration of the cell reinforced my fascination with its mechanisms and cultivated my desire to discover new molecular phenomena. Beyond research, I worked to build a new program in partnership with an internationally renowned medical center that trained undergraduate students to provide social support to geriatric inpatients. As co-president and avid volunteer, I have spent over a hundred hours listening to patients and their life stories as they sat in isolation in their hospital rooms. 

Hand in hand, I comforted Mr. Stevens in the face of imminent mortality as he simultaneously mourned his terminal kidney failure and the death of his wife just weeks earlier. Listening to Mrs. Williams jokingly talk about her "adventures" completing word search puzzles during the pandemic always made me laugh. I witnessed a spectrum of human experience as defined by the heritage and identity of these patients, leaving each interaction filled with purpose and meaning. In the quiet rooms of the geriatric ward and the tense hallways of the emergency department, I confronted the vulnerability within the patient experience. I began to understand the individual in the context of disease. 

As a researcher, my curiosity with the cell led to a fascination with its hallmark pathology: cancer. In my sophomore year, I worked to redesign a novel inhibitor of HSP90, a molecular chaperone implicated in over 600 types of cancer. Later, as a radiation immunology intern, I genetically modified cancer cell lines, studied their pathology in mice, and worked to find correlations between tumor RNA expression and therapeutic outcomes in human pancreatic cancer. The spectrum between basic and clinical cancer research inspires me with its potential to revolutionize the lives of patients. As a future oncologist, I endeavor to harness the power within biomedical discovery and our shared human experience to push back the boundaries of cancerous dysfunction in favor of the patients I serve. 

As I closed the door to Sarah's room and followed Jeff to our next patient, I carried the realization that biomedical science and humanities are not only entwined but entirely interdependent. To serve a patient effectively is to address the disease in the context of the human. I embrace the charge to work at this complex interface. I want to lead patients through their most vulnerable moments with the competency and empathy demanded of the profession as I expand my knowledge of our molecular profile through attentive study and avid research.

Why It Works

This is a powerful personal statement for numerous reasons:

• Opening hook : The essay starts with a gripping and dramatic scene of the applicant treating a gunshot victim, immediately capturing the reader's attention.
• Personal narrative : The essay weaves a personal narrative throughout, sharing the applicant's journey from their upbringing in a small town to their experiences as an EMT, their father's illness, and their involvement in research and clinical activities, adding personality and authenticity to the story.
• Passion and motivation : The applicant’s passion for medicine and their strong desire to make a difference in the lives of patients is clear through their dedication to research, their engagement with geriatric inpatients, and their focus on oncology.
• Reflection and growth : The applicant reflects on their experiences and how they have shaped their understanding of medicine. They show personal growth and a shift in perspective, emphasizing the importance of the human experience in healthcare.
• Connection between science and humanities : The essay effectively highlights the interdependence between biomedical science and the humanities, showing the applicant's ability to bridge the gap and approach patient care from a holistic perspective.
• Clear future goals : The essay concludes by outlining the applicant's future aspirations as an oncologist and their commitment to combining biomedical discovery with compassionate patient care. Having defined goals is essential to portray your commitment to medicine.
• Engaging writing style : The essay is well-written and engaging, uses descriptive language, vivid anecdotes, and thoughtful reflections to captivate the reader and convey the applicant's message effectively.

This is the type of statement that leaves a lasting impression on the admissions committee!

‍ My family immigrated from Cuba to the United States roughly 27 years ago. My father fled to the U.S. on a wooden makeshift raft and my mother came as a political refugee—making me a first generation American. After moving to the U.S., my family faced significant adversity—financial, language, and community barriers. As a result of these difficulties, I noticed that my family adopted a “avoid doctors unless you absolutely cannot,” mentality. 

The first time my family looked into healthcare resources was during the arrival of my maternal great grandmother to the United States, a previous political prisoner in Cuba. While in solitary confinement for 12 years, she developed thrombosis in her legs, with doctors in Cuba only offering amputation. No one in the family spoke English, and there was a disconnect between providers and my grandmother—both sides could only comprehend about half of what was happening. The physicians were limited on time given the line of patients waiting. However, my family was not only fluent in another language, but they were also from a culture that avoided healthcare professionals. These factors were not able to be conveyed in a 20-minute conversation involving translation issues with an interpreter. Eventually, through other immigrants, they found Dr. Alvarez, an Argentinean physician. He was Spanish speaking and offered her surgical vein reconstruction—most importantly, he was able to build rapport with her quickly, and my grandmother went ahead with his suggested care. After that experience with Dr. Alvarez, my mother would cross state lines to take me to a Spanish-speaking pediatrician, Dr. Arias. 

Observing my family’s determination in finding physicians like Dr. Alvarez and Dr. Arias made me realize the importance of Hispanic, Spanish-speaking, culturally competent physicians in the U.S. I spent time learning about healthcare inequities between Hispanic populations and other ethnicities, inside and outside the classroom. I was driven to pursue a career in medicine to be an advocate and manage care for patients from vulnerable communities—bridging the divide in comprehension and quality of care between Hispanic and other underrepresented minorities in the United States. 

During my first week at college, I became a volunteer at [Hospital]. My first job was to be an admissions ambassador, a liaison helping patients navigate the hospital. Hispanic patients frequently approached me for guidance. “Olivia,” an Ecuadorian mother with her 3-year-old daughter in a stroller approached me one day. She was lost trying to find a physician’s office. I could see her daughter recently had a surgical procedure done on her little hand. After a few detours, I located the physician’s office. He happened to be there and was eager to have me translate. Olivia asked several questions regarding accrued treatment costs. She was running out of money. After assessing the situation and helping express her concerns to the physician, we reached out to the appropriate personnel and helped her navigate the system—she was relieved by the end of the conversation. I couldn’t help but think back to my own family and struggles they faced as refugees navigating the U.S. healthcare system. Being a resource in this manner brought me a new sense of fulfillment, further inspiring me to pursue medicine. 

The comfort my interpreting skills brought to Hispanic patients at [Hospital] sparked my desire to seek more formal interpreting positions. I located a free clinic treating uninsured adults, the [Local Clinic]. As a medical interpreter and patient advocate, I helped Hispanic patients through their check-ups and physical exams. I also worked in the OB-GYN clinic, guiding Hispanic women through intimate conversations with their providers. Many of these patients were a bit hesitant to open up, but after I spoke to them in Spanish, they became more comfortable and told their stories. I remember one story in particular about “Catalina,” a woman from Mexico that immigrated to the U.S. less than a year before visiting the clinic. While waiting for the medical student to return from presenting her case to the attending, she asked me what my future plans were. I told Catalina I wanted to become a physician, and her eyes lit up—she was incredibly supportive, telling me there needed to be more Hispanic physicians and encouraged me to stay on the path. While healthcare is not an easy road, interactions like these continue to drive me—I want to be able to ease concerns, allowing patients to open up. 

My family background and personal experiences as an interpreter have ignited my desire to become a physician that provides culturally competent care to patients from vulnerable communities and increase minority representation in the healthcare space. Discovering the positive impact I had as a bridge between patients and the U.S. healthcare system alone, made me imagine the impact I could have as their physician in the future. A career in medicine with public service at the center will allow me to provide direct medical care without the need for this bridge. This would enable me to address health inequities vulnerable communities are burdened by while being a role model for future first generation Americans.

What stands out the most in this essay is the student’s passion! It’s clear they’re determined to make healthcare more accessible and inclusive, which is an excellent goal to have as a future physician. The student also hits the mark in the following ways:

• Offers a unique, diverse perspective : The applicant’s background as a first-generation American brings a unique perspective to their personal statement. This diversity adds value to the medical school community and showcases the applicant's ability to bring a different cultural lens to patient care.
• Involves cultural competence and advocacy : The applicant demonstrates a clear understanding of the healthcare disparities faced by Hispanic populations and other vulnerable communities. This type of awareness is crucial to have in the medical field.
• Shares relevant experiences : The essay highlights the applicant's involvement in volunteer work at a hospital and a free clinic, where they served as a translator and patient advocate. These experiences demonstrate they understand the challenges of healthcare and are still determined to pursue a career in it.
• Aligns with the values of medicine : The applicant's desire to provide culturally competent care and increase minority representation in the healthcare field aligns with the core values of medicine, such as social justice and advocacy, making them a more attractive med school candidate. 
• Is well-balanced : The student maintains a balance between their personal anecdotes and professional aspirations, ensuring the reader gains a comprehensive understanding of their motivations and qualifications.

Overall, this statement is focused and clear. It illustrates this student’s past, present, and potential future as a healthcare provider. 

There are sounds, throughout the course of a day, that demand our attention and those that blend, seamlessly, into the static noise of detail that our brain chooses to filter. There is an immediacy to the social demand of a friend calling our name, the ping of an incoming text, and the incessant honking of a car as we attempt to merge lanes. On the other hand, we tend to ignore, even mute, the soft bubbling of a kettle on the stove, the footsteps of someone walking by, and the ticking of a clock. 

In a society characterized by a constant influx of information, I believe the mere act of listening can be easily overlooked. Furthermore, listening is the foundation for empathy: the ability to not only understand what another is going through but also to take part in their journey is the bedrock of human relationships. I have come to realize that listening to others – not simply hearing them – is a necessary component to any relationship: the former being intentional and the latter unintentional.

For me, a fulfilling career combines my fascination with the sciences, my desire to serve the community and provides the chance to grow from a variety of relationships through listening. The field of medicine uniquely brings together my diverse interests and experiences while fulfilling my desire to help my fellow man. 

Through the study of biology, I have gained a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of the biotic and abiotic environment. Combined with the exploration of the “instructions” for life, encoded within molecules no wider than strands of hair, I have cultivated a child-like fascination for the human body. The study of economics has provided insight into decision-making and how that is manifested in a world with finite resources. Additionally, my research experiences working with the genetic diversity of Sporisorium ellisii and traumatic brain injuries have given me an appreciation for not only the reliability of the scientific method but also the bridge between creativity and impact. I want to continue to foster my curiosity through a field that explores the challenges facing human life both on a microscopic and macroscopic level.

Although I found my courses interesting, I also found them lacking - I desired to have a more hands-on role within the field. In part to ameliorate this void, I took an active role in leading the committee for a health clinic that my service fraternity hosted at a major hospital in the greater [Local] community. After months of soliciting and coordinating the assistance of various student organizations as well as local professionals, there were fewer than ten attendees during the entire five-hour clinic. Rather than simply admitting failure, I, along with other committee members, went out into the community for an explanation. After listening to locals, we discovered that there was mistrust in the healthcare system. The following year, we addressed the issue by choosing a location where the community frequently gathered: a local church. We were then met with much greater success, as locals interacted with both students and professionals to express concerns regarding healthcare. Actively listening to the individuals’ concerns was the catalyst that ultimately allowed for a greater impact on the community as a whole. 

After discovering the impact that could be made from listening to the community, I endeavored to make a difference on a more personal level. I found that my yearning was sated by my experience teaching others leading me to work in an urban high school through City Year following graduation. My goal for the year was to challenge myself and strive to find commonalities that transcend physical differences. Working with these students gave me invaluable experience in understanding the impact backgrounds have on perspectives and helped me develop patience while adhering to time-dependent goals. The patient-doctor relationship is similar to that of the student- teacher: both parties must be willing to learn from one another. I want to not only use my skills to help those in need but also grow from serving my patients. Medicine provides a unique challenge requiring knowledge about the background of physical ailments and an understanding of the relevant social factors that comes about through deep personal relationships. 

Through my interests and extracurricular involvement I have learned to remain inquisitive but not overzealous, patient but not complacent and supportive but not overbearing. Coupled with my time volunteering in hospitals and shadowing, I know that practicing medicine provides this harmony I am striving for. In my mind, there can be no greater fulfillment than having the opportunity to enter a dynamic profession that seeks to understand the nuances of the human body, to adapt to healthcare in the 21st century and to serve the community at-large not only as a source of knowledge but also as a student of the human condition. As I embark upon this journey, I hope to gain the skills necessary to champion for the betterment of my patients. I would cherish the opportunity to critically think about the human body, to build meaningful inter-personal relationships, to be a teacher and most importantly, to listen, rather than simply hear. 

This personal statement is captivating from beginning to end, and here’s why:

• Has a distinct hook : It’s always impressive when students open with seemingly unrelated hooks and tactfully connect them to their interest in medicine, which this student has done perfectly.
• It integrates diverse interests and experiences : The applicant effectively integrates their passion for the sciences, community service, and human relationships. They demonstrate how the field of medicine provides a platform to combine these interests, showing their strong critical thinking skills.
• Shows a commitment to growth and learning : The student expresses their desire to actively seek out opportunities to challenge themselves and broaden their perspectives. This commitment aligns with the values of medicine as a lifelong learning profession, showcasing their preparedness for med school.
• Has a strong conclusion : The conclusion effectively summarizes the applicant's motivations and aspirations, highlighting their desire to critically think about the human body, build meaningful relationships, and listen actively, leaving a lasting impression on the judges.

All of these elements combined create a compelling narrative that showcases the applicant's suitability and passion for a career in medicine!

The shed behind the [Hospital] in Uganda was full of broken wheelchairs. I took one apart, and began to build the framework for a standing wheel that Jeremy, an eight-year-old with cerebral palsy, could spin in circles to strengthen his spastic rotator cuff. As I baked in the midday heat, I tried to ignore my own festering doubts about the integrity of my design project. I wasn’t sure that I would be able to help Jeremy overcome his condition just using discarded parts, but I couldn’t let that stop me from trying. 

My path here had not been straightforward. What had started as a project focused on repairing old medical equipment had quickly become a firsthand exploration into patient care. In the United States, healthcare providers and engineers typically work separately from one another, but in Uganda, medical equipment maintenance is performed directly in hospital wards, often bringing me face-to-face with patients. In [Town], for example, I only happened to meet Jeremy, beaming at me from his bright-red walking frame, because I was fixing his hospital bed. I smiled back, assuming our interactions would end there. But he stayed, and as he laughed at my attempts to speak L’Uganda, I started to realize how refreshing it was to have the chance to talk with a patient being impacted by my work. Noticing the pain from his shaking left shoulder, I also grasped the limits on helping patients without face-to-face interaction; I would have never thought to build Jeremy a physical therapy device had I never met him in person. Over time, I grew increasingly interested in acting in a role that bridged the gap between patient and medical technology through direct contact. 

Even with my newfound interest in patient care, my exposure to the realities of healthcare disparities proved equally profound. Most strikingly, I recall my time in [Hospital’s] neonatal ICU, where I witnessed multiple premature newborns being placed into incubators only meant to fit one infant. The incubators regulated body temperature, but overcrowding compromised their functionality. One day, this overcrowding resulted in the death of a newborn girl who succumbed to the cold. As the child’s mother grieved, I sat a few feet away, filled with guilt that my inability to fix every piece of equipment made me partly responsible for her loss. Noticing my frustration, my mentor, Dr. Carlos, told me, “three years ago, only a few of these incubators were working. Now only a few are left to fix.” A life had been lost, but by our equipment maintenance, many other lives had been saved. His words encouraged me to stay resolute in my belief that the gradual efforts of the composite healthcare team can - and will - bridge disparities in healthcare. This experience reaffirmed my desire to stay invested in the development of strong medical infrastructure, specifically in a role where I can directly work with patients to avoid the outcome I witnessed at [Hospital].

Returning to [Location], I discovered that inequities in medical care, so plainly visible in the developing world, were hidden right under my nose at home. Volunteering at the [Nursing Home], a Medicaid-funded nursing home for the disadvantaged, I found that another crucial component to addressing these inequities is to connect with those who feel neglected. Here, I came across obstacles to medical care I had grown to expect, such as understaffing, older equipment, and an inability to finance high-cost treatments. However, most residents’ frustrations with their medical care were secondary to their struggles with social isolation. Olivia, one of my favorite residents, has COPD and end-stage renal failure, and cannot sit up in her bed. 

Despite all her ailments, nothing hurt her more than the fact that no one came to visit her. Week by week, as we discussed everything from Latin etymology to the merits of broccoli as a side to chicken wings, I watched Olivia’s smile grow with every visit I paid her. The ability I had to brighten her day just by giving her an hour of my time every week helped me appreciate the unique privilege physicians must have to set patients at ease by letting them know that someone is continually invested in their well-being. After a few months at the [Nursing Home], Olivia surprised me with the comment that she didn’t feel alone anymore. I marveled at how just by being present in a patient’s life, I had made my own small contribution to overcome her emotional pain. I was inspired to pursue a role where I could expand upon my ability to heal patients by providing not only emotional support, but also clinical care. 

My medical journey has been wayward. It has taken me to Uganda, where a boy taught me to value the patients I encounter even more than the machines I fix. It has led me back to America, where a nursing home resident made me realize the simple but powerful gesture of healing by forming connections. It has been demanding, but extremely fulfilling. As a physician, I hope to merge the lessons from all my experiences to work at the interface of science, society, and person, contributing to advancements in medical infrastructure while never losing sight of the individual patients who make medicine so meaningful. 

As you read through this medical school personal statement example, pay particular attention to the way the author implements the following techniques into their personal statement:

• Opening with a compelling anecdote : The essay begins with a great description of the applicant's experience building a standing wheel for a child with cerebral palsy in Uganda. This engaging opening captures the reader's attention and creates a sense of curiosity.
• Showing personal growth and transformation : The essay demonstrates how the applicant's experiences in Uganda and at a nursing home have shaped their perspective on patient care. This portrayal of personal growth and transformation adds depth to the narrative.
• Effectively uses descriptive language and storytelling : The essay utilizes descriptive language to paint a picture of the environments and individuals they’ve encountered. The use of specific details helps the reader visualize the scenes and empathize with the experiences described.
• Linking personal experiences to broader themes : The applicant connects their experiences in Uganda and at the nursing home to broader themes of healthcare disparities, patient care, and the importance of human connection, showing their analytic skills and level of perspective. 

Consider using some of these techniques to elevate your own personal statement!

As two surgical residents rushed into my room at 10:30 pm with a cart of equipment, a few nightmare scenarios raced through my mind. Where are they going to stick that tube? Why the scissors? 

It turned out that my team of doctors had decided that a nasogastric (NG) tube needed to be placed immediately. By that point I had already been through a lot: years of immunosuppressant drugs and steroids that made my face moon-shaped, a series of surgeries to rearrange my digestive tract, and a few bowel obstructions that led me to the emergency room. For some reason, none of those experiences haunt me more than recalling that NG tube on that night. Five painful attempts to force the tube down my nose and into my throat were all unsuccessful. I was in tears, one of the residents was in tears, and blood and mucus covered my hospital gown; the night had gone downhill fast.

Enduring grueling medical interventions was nothing out of the ordinary for me, but the lack of conversation or connection with my team left me emotionally unprepared and in shock. Alone and recovering from surgery, I was vulnerable at that moment and suddenly felt like the doctors were not on my team. I began to feel like the residents were disappointed in me and that I had caused the procedure to fail. I still remember being unable to process what had happened and staring out the window all that night. I knew that residents had already undergone years of training, yet seeing one resident cry made me wonder if she was just as scared as I was. In the same way that nothing could have prepared me for that night, countless hours of training as a medical student does not necessarily prepare one to gain the trust of a vulnerable, anxious patient.

In the days following this experience, I developed a new appreciation for my primary care physician at the time, colorectal surgeon Dr. [NAME]. It is frightening to be surgically sliced into, but Dr. [NAME] had a way about him of making every decision and action seem perfectly natural and safe. He greeted me the same way every morning: “kak dila, Aaronchik,” asking me how I was doing and calling me by the Russian name only my mom used. We would speak in English, but when he dropped in a Russian word at the beginning or end it reminded me that he recognized me not just as a patient, but as a person. His constant efforts to connect with me and reassure me were the basis of my confidence in Dr. [NAME]. I knew that he had gone through extensive training and was technically qualified, but his emotional appeals were the overwhelming factor in the state of my morale. The atmosphere of security Dr. [NAME] brought into the room was the most memorable part of my interactions with him and separated him from all the other physicians I had seen. 

In the years prior to the NG tube incident unfolding, through countless conversations with attendings, residents, and medical students who took care of me throughout my adolescence, I cultivated a deep-rooted interest in pursuing a medical career. I learned a great deal about the intellectual and physical challenges of medical school and residency. However, my challenging experience with the NG tube provided me with a new understanding of patient care: I realized that it is not necessarily about what you know but about how you integrate that knowledge to make a meaningful connection with a human being under your care.

Dr. [NAME] exemplified how critical it is as a physician to instill palpable trust, not through pedigree and authority but through humanity. Thinking about Dr. [NAME] crystallized the feelings I had for years as a patient, that the field of medicine could be better, not only through technical advances but through the human touch and word, and that I could directly make this happen. Attending medical school will provide me with the tools and education I need to return to the wards, not as a patient but as a provider. In the back of my mind, I will always retain the inspiration of Dr. [NAME], who helped me recognize that my perspective from hardship will one day benefit those under my care.

As another one of the excellent medical school personal statement examples shared in this guide, let’s breakdown what makes this essay so effective:

• Uses personal anecdotes to convey emotional impact : The essay describes the applicant's emotional state during the NG tube placement, highlighting their vulnerability, shock, and feelings of disappointment and isolation. The use of specific details adds depth and evokes empathy from the reader.
• Maintains a consistent theme : Throughout the essay, the theme of the importance of empathy, connection, and the human touch in patient care is consistently emphasized, creating a cohesive narrative that reinforces the applicant's passion and commitment to medicine.
• It defines what good medicine means to them : The student explains the lack of empathy they faced as a patient and how it informed their own philosophy on medicine and the type of doctor they’d like to become, giving the committee concrete future goals and demonstrating their intent and ambition. 
• Reflections on the broader implications of their experiences : The applicant reflects on their experiences as a patient and draws broader conclusions about the field of medicine as a whole, which demonstrates their ability to think critically about the healthcare system and how they can contribute to it.

All of these features work together to ensure this personal statement follows the three E’s! 

“[NAME] is a seventeen-year-old female with suicidal ideations.” The emergency room nurse continued her report as I nervously riffled through [NAME]’s transfer of care paperwork. Looking toward the room where [NAME] and her parents were waiting to speak with me, I could not shake the overwhelming feeling that I was unprepared.

As a new EMT, I was filled with excitement and anticipation to gain experience in the medical field. After months of training, I was finally using my skills to help real patients. As I saw it, this would affirm my desire to become a doctor, a goal I have had since my aunt was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer when I was eight years old. I witnessed firsthand the comfort that my aunt’s medical team brought to my family during such a daunting time in our lives, and I knew then that I wanted to one day be that source of knowledge and support for others. 

My aunt’s illness also illuminated my interest in the science of medicine. I spent a lot of time learning from my uncle, a medical research scientist, who answered my countless questions about astrocytomas, innovative surgeries, and chemotherapies. I carried my fascination for the medical field with me throughout my undergraduate education, where my coursework, research, and my EMT training prepared me to care for patients biologically. And while I knew how to assess vitals, manage an airway, deliver medications, and even the physiologic processes of those actions, I now found myself face-to-face with a much more personal facet of medicine. I felt utterly underqualified to care for [NAME] psychologically. 

I knocked apprehensively on the glass sliding door to the emergency department exam room. “Hi [NAME], my name is [NAME]. I’m an EMT with the ambulance service here to transport you to the mental health facility. How are you feeling?” [NAME]’s solemn expression and her parents’ frightened eyes heightened my nerves. Had I already asked the wrong thing? Was I equipped to handle this situation?

After helping [NAME] into the ambulance and taking my seat, I searched for something to say. The nurse had explained that social pressures including moving away for college were exacerbating [NAME]’s struggles with anxiety and depression. I was afraid that approaching topics such as friends and school, as I normally would with patients her age, would make her more upset. Reaching for the blood pressure cuff near her stack of belongings, I spotted a novel by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

“Are you reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo? I love that book!” I exclaimed, nervously hoping for a connection.

As it turned out, like me, [NAME] loved to read. I smiled as she looked up and began talking excitedly about her favorite books. [NAME] continued to open up, but an uneasiness returned to her voice when she asked me about the facility and how long her treatment would take. I knew my answer was not one she wanted to hear. 

Preparing to deliver the difficult news, I was reminded of talking to my sisters. Growing up, uncertain times were the norm for me and my sisters because of our aunt’s diagnosis. Like me, my sisters were afraid and confused as we watched one of our favorite people slowly succumb to her illness. As the oldest, I often took on the responsibility of explaining my aunt’s condition to my sisters in a way I knew they would understand. When it came time for my aunt to go into hospice care, I wanted to be the one to tell my sisters, knowing I could string the words together delicately for them. It was through caring for my younger sisters that I developed the communication skills needed to discuss difficult subjects.

Holding [NAME]’s hand as I would my own sister’s, I explained that she would likely miss out on time with friends and family during her treatment. I consoled her and gave reassurance that her wellbeing was the main priority of both her medical team and her loved ones. 

Offering [NAME] some solace during that uncertain time in her life exemplifies why I want to go into medicine. Through my aunt’s physicians and the ones I have shadowed, I have always been inspired by the role each played in ensuring that patients felt comfortable, informed, and cared for. As an EMT, comforting words were the most I had to offer [NAME], and I learned that these are sometimes the most important medicine we have to offer. I want to be a physician so I can gain the knowledge and skills necessary to care for patients both medically and emotionally through hard times. 

While not every patient opens up as [NAME] did, I always do my best to ensure each patient feels safe and heard. I often think of my aunt and my sisters during these encounters and how I would want them to be treated. Studying medicine will be a way for me to honor my family’s story and to use the way it has shaped me to care for others. While I still at times doubt myself when caring for patients, these situations drive my motivation to become a physician. I have learned that I enjoy working in an ever-advancing field where each day brings unique challenges. A career in medicine will always be fulfilling, as every patient interaction is an opportunity for me to become better. I am excited to continue to face challenging situations throughout my career which will push me to be an empathetic physician.

As you read through these medical school personal statement examples, you’ll notice many of them focus on patient care that goes beyond simply diagnosing and treating illness. Instead, they focus on empathetic care and comfort. 

This is because so many personal statements tend to focus solely on the former, and approaching patient care from a different angle can make your statement more distinct. 

This essay also focuses on being an empathetic physician, which helps it stand out. Here are some other parts of the essay that also stand out:

• It shows vulnerability : As an aspiring med student, you’ll have much to learn about healthcare. This student demonstrates their awareness of this by stating they felt unprepared to handle the psychological aspects of patient care, proving they are self-aware and willing to improve their skill set.
• It integrates the past, present, and future : The applicant effectively weaves together their past experiences, current interactions with patients, and future aspirations in medicine. They draw connections between their personal experiences, their growth as an EMT, and their vision for their future.
• It takes an interdisciplinary approach : The applicant brings a unique perspective by sharing how their background as an EMT prepared them for patient care, but also emphasizes the importance of addressing psychological aspects of medicine, adding depth to their understanding of healthcare.

Overall, the student is able to demonstrate their passion, limitations, and skills while also proving their dedication to patient-centered care and knowledge that comprehensive patient care involves treating the mind and body.

The radio went off, and we burst into action. My crew and I grabbed our medical equipment, taking off in the direction of the dispatch, a student overdose in a nearby freshman dorm room. 

I had joined the [COLLEGE]’s Medical Emergency Response Team (MERT) as a freshman because I wanted to be a doctor. I’ve had this dream since I was four, when I began going on rounds with my father at the hospital. I loved seeing the positive impact my father’s job had on people. It made me proud of my father to know that his care helped all of those patients, struggling with fear and anxiety over their ailments, feel safe and comforted. I knew that one day I wanted to have the same impact on people. That excitement about medicine led to my study of pre-medicine and health care economics in college. But my studies, my health care research, and shadowing doctors were not enough to satisfy my medical aspirations. I wanted to participate firsthand. MERT was an opportunity to gain hands-on medical experience. 

That night, on the short way over to the dorm, my mind raced. I was just a freshman, with barely more than an untested skill set and a few months of response experience. Not surprisingly, I was second-guessing myself. An overdose? Can I even treat that? And then suddenly there I was, on scene, unbelievably scared. I looked around the room, put on my gloves, took a deep breath, and forgot my fears.

“Hello, my name is [NAME]. I’m an EMT. What’s going on today?”

A freshman, stressed about school and family issues, had overdosed on antidepressants mixed with a few Tylenol and chased with some vodka. She was having trouble breathing, so we started to set up an oxygen mask to help her. But she fought us. She kept trying to take the mask off, repeatedly telling us that she did not want it, then yelling at us that she didn’t need it. 

I began to plead with her, my voice nearly breaking. As I slowly attempted to wrestle the mask back into place over her mouth and nose, I told her that we were just trying to help. Her response will never leave me. In a sudden fit of calm, she grabbed my hand, kissed it, looked me in the eyes and said, “I know.”

We continued to care for our patient. Soon enough, the paramedics arrived on scene and they strapped her into a stair chair to be taken to the ambulance and then to the hospital.

My team and I sat in the squad room immediately after the call shaking and wired. As we debriefed and enjoyed a post-call pizza, I began to realize the importance of our interventions. I had seen my fair share of drunken patients, minor injuries, and flu patients—ailments that, while dangerous, allow the care provider time to think, ask questions, and assess. But here, the intervention required had been more immediate. The more experienced EMTs around me walked me through the debrief. They aided me in overcoming my panic and apprehension that we could have done more and that this could have happened to someone I knew. 

I thought back to what the patient had said to me, that she knew I wanted to help. Her words made me think about why I wanted to help. On one level, the answer was simple: I wanted to help because I knew I could. But on a deeper level, I helped because I want to have the same positive impact on people as my father. I want to make people feel safe and cared for. I can’t think of anything more satisfying than using my knowledge and skills to assist someone who really needs me.

This event was a turning point for me. I began to dedicate as much time as possible to MERT, eventually rising through the ranks to become a clinical crew chief and then captain. 

More recently, toward the end of junior year, I had another overdose call. Another stressed college student, but this time he was completely unresponsive from a heroin overdose. Through proper airway management, I assisted in saving his life. This time there was no second-guessing or anxiety, just a determination to help the patient. I led my crew through the call and, after the call, the debrief. As a leader in MERT, I was able to walk them through overcoming their own feelings of doubt and anxiety, so they could be proud of the work they had done.

Being a college EMT offers a unique set of difficulties. We treat our friends and colleagues, seeing them at their worst. And when it’s all over, we have to sit down, write up what we saw in a patient care report, and then try to go back to just being college students who eat pizza with their friends on weeknights. But I love the work I do with MERT and the determination, stress-management, and compassion I get to practice through it.

MERT has become an integral part of my life. It challenges me every day to learn more and apply my knowledge in critical situations. This has been a hugely influential step for me on my path to becoming a doctor. I know that as I continue learning and striving as an EMT, I will encounter many more high-stress, high-stakes situations. These experiences will shape me as I grow into a more proficient, emotionally adept care provider. I look forward to the challenges I will encounter as an EMT, and later as a doctor.

Sharing a tale where you’re the hero who saves a patient is always a great way to spruce up your personal statement, as this student has! However, that’s not the only aspect that makes this a winning personal statement:

• It demonstrates their personal motivation : The writer shares a childhood dream of becoming a doctor that was inspired by their father's impact on patients. This demonstrates a long-standing passion for medicine.
• It shows they have hands-on experience : Having experience in the field tells the admissions committee you’re already honing the skills required to thrive in the field. The writer discusses their involvement in MERT,which shows their proactive approach to pursuing opportunities beyond classroom learning.
• It's realistic : The writer acknowledges the difficulties of being a college EMT, treating friends and colleagues, and dealing with the emotional aftermath of intense situations. This shows their understanding of the complexities and demands of the medical profession.
• It includes their future outlook : The essay concludes by expressing enthusiasm for the continued challenges and growth opportunities that lie ahead as an EMT and future doctor. This demonstrates a resilient and forward-thinking mindset that the admissions committee will surely appreciate.

While this type of experience can certainly add intrigue to your personal statement, remember that you don’t need to share such a heroic tale to write a captivating essay! Any experience you share in your personal statement, if explained descriptively and connected to your desire to pursue medicine, can be powerful!

“We only use around 10% of our brains.” Ms. [LAST NAME]’s voice permeated through the silent 4th grade classroom. All of us intently took notes while she read off of the day’s lesson plan. My brow furrowed - was this correct?

At the dinner table, I asked my parents. They smiled, and told me to use my resources to find out. I used the family computer to ask Google, and as I suspected, website after website labeled the statement as a myth. Many sources echoed a similar rationale, stating that “FDG-PET, relying on the high quantities of glucose absorbed by Neurons and Glia, shows large amounts of brain activity even when we’re asleep.” I read the statement again. And again. We’d learned about glucose in our science class, but what in the world were Neurons and Glia?

My curiosity pushed me down a rabbit hole. The more I read, the more questions I had. What’s an action potential? What’s a synapse? I kept searching until I heard my mother say “Tulog na, [NAME]” It was time to go to bed.

Progressing through school, I never fully understood the answers to my questions. This changed when I took psychology, where we focused on the brain. Although this knowledge answered my 4th grade self’s inquiries, tens more replaced them, all culminating in one large question: how does our brain, and body as a whole, even work?

Looking for answers, I turned to AI. Believing it to be the closest estimate to how the brain worked, I learned Python and other languages. The deeper I went, the more enamored I became - fixing bugs was extremely gratifying, creating a positive feedback loop. Eventually, I wrote and trained my own AI, my first triumph in a sea of errors. By 10th grade, I was set on entering the world of Computer Science (CS). At the time, however, I didn’t realize that something was missing from this profession.

My perspective changed in 11th grade because of one word: Hyperaldosteronism. Battling with hypertension and hypokalemia throughout the majority of his life, my dad finally had a diagnosis. The culprit was a peanut sized tumor in his adrenal glands. The surgeon was confident in its removal. I was amazed - she, in her early 30s, had devised a minimally invasive procedure to resect the tumor. In the same way us coders wrote, debugged, and endlessly tested code, this surgeon studied, tested, and applied her knowledge of human anatomy to craft a less invasive but equally successful procedure. This experience helped me understand exactly what CS was missing: the element of serving others.

Upon diving into what it meant to be a healthcare professional, I realized medicine held the same allure as CS; both were mentally stimulating, and learning the etiology of diseases gave that same feeling of gratification that pushed me in CS. However, instead of a screen displaying lines of code, it was a smiling face that evidenced a job well done. This contrast became apparent when shadowing a neurosurgeon. Our first case was a veteran presenting for a post-op checkup. Previously rendered unable to walk because of an IED, I watched in awe as he took his first steps in 5 years. “It still hurts like hell,” he muttered jokingly. His wife replied, “but you’re walking ain’tcha?” The joy that emanated from deep patient-provider relationships recapitulated itself as I observed how other physicians went the extra mile to guide their patients through tough moments in their lives. Sure, it would take an extra 10 minutes to fully explain a treatment plan, but every one of those seconds was a brick in the shared path to healing. 

At [PROGRAM], I’ve explored the intersection of computer science and patient care. Working in a Digital Pathology lab, I am able to apply the concepts of computer vision to aid pathologists in their meticulous investigation of patient slides. My PI believes in using the creative process to solve problems, which provides the independence for us to experience the beauty of the scientific method. Despite the steep learning curve of such an approach, each “eureka!” moment became easier and easier to achieve. This culminated in [TOOL NAME], a tool developed by our lab to expedite the process of validating uncountably many slide annotations. Although I felt a great sense of accomplishment seeing my 3 years of work elegantly manifest in a simple yet powerful tool, the same sense of longing that irked me in high school once again reared its ugly head. I missed the patient-provider interactions of clinical work that completed the field for me.

To that end, I have continued to pursue the provider perspective of medicine. From Cardiology and Endocrinology to Gastroenterology and Neurology, each opportunity showcased the importance of compassionate care. Through these amazing physicians, I was able to see the difference the extra mile makes as patient after patient thanked their provider for explaining their condition and the rationale for their treatment.

With these experiences, my love for medicine has grown immensely. While I am immersed in these clinical settings, it’s apparent that there’s no way humans only use 10% of their brains; rather, seeing and modeling the compassionate work of my physician role models has made it clear I use 100% of my brain when serving those facing paralytic questions of health.

Here’s what works well in this medical school personal statement example:

• It starts with a quote : Starting your statement off with a quote can make it cliche unless you do what this student has and use a personal quote that a teacher, friend, or family member—and not an influential leader—said.
• It’s coherent and shows progression : The essay flows logically, connecting the writer's childhood curiosity to their exploration of computer science and medicine, and arriving at their current passion for patient care. This allows the reader to follow the writer's journey of self-discovery.
• It’s passionate and authentic : Throughout the essay, the writer's genuine passion for both computer science and medicine shines through. While many students solely focus on medicine, including these additional passions helps set this statement apart and add authenticity. 
• It shares relevant and desirable experiences : The writer mentions their experiences shadowing physicians in various specialties, which provided them with insight into the medical field and reinforced their love for medicine. These experiences demonstrate their commitment to and readiness for medicine.

In summary, this personal statement effectively combines the writer's intellectual pursuits, personal experiences, and reflections to showcase their commitment to medicine. It also portrays their understanding of the importance of compassionate care and their unique perspective as someone with a background in computer science. 

If you have a passion other than medicine, use it to your advantage to make your statement memorable! The committee knows you aren’t just interested in medicine, so give them deeper insight into your background and what makes you, you!

“I don’t know.” Those were the words of my infectious disease specialist, who saw me after I lost 20 pounds and was suffering from a temperature of 100-102˚F nearly 24 hours a day. What followed in the next eight months was a battery of tests; everything from Lupus to cancer was ruled out, and upon coming to a diagnostic dead end, I confronted those three devastating words. How could they come out of a physician’s mouth? My disease was labeled as a fever of unknown origin, or FUO. Unlike the other times I had been sick, there was no pill to take or treatment plan to follow. 

This experience not only fueled my desire to pursue medicine, but also helped me overcome what was the toughest year of my life. I emerged from the FUO with a new sense of resilience that I attribute to the myriad of interactions with my doctor. Furthermore, I always carried the implicit lesson I learned from him: that it is vital to recognize you will not know everything, but it is equally as important to keep searching for answers.

Ultimately, this poignant realization transformed my deeply ingrained fear of the unknown into a passion to seek, confront, and solve challenging problems. More importantly, it provided a path to pursue that passion; I knew that guiding people through harrowing times, regardless of whether I had all the answers, would give me the same satisfaction that exuded from my doctor when the FUO finally faded away a year later. Specifically, I recognized the courage and commitment that drove my doctor to never surrender were also virtues of my own character. This was made apparent in many experiences, such as rescuing a brother and sister from the deep end as a lifeguard or consoling a decompensating man in the back of an ambulance as an EMT.

My experiences during my FUO and the shadowing of others in healthcare revealed the importance of being comfortable with uncertainty. I have realized that success does not come from “faking it until you make it;” instead, it stems from reaching out to others with the purpose of expanding your own knowledge so that you may in turn guide those who are lost. Early on, I was afraid to do this, as I thought physicians, and therefore me as well, should always have an answer. However, after observing what I believed was an omniscient hospitalist ask the nurses about what they thought of each patient before even walking into the patients’ rooms, that fear subsided. 

This realization affected my attitude in the lab as well. To me, research is an archetypal form of the unknown; it is impossible to predict whether a single transformation, let alone an entire experiment, will succeed. My new mentality caused the failed iterations of my antibody cloning projects to become valuable information rather than red X’s in my notebook, and instead of hesitating to tell my PI that “It didn’t work, again,” I strode into his office, determined to brainstorm a new strategy. While this uncertainty was unnerving at first, my lesson on confronting such situations anchored my resolve to be both relentless in effort and unafraid to approach others for guidance. 

Despite the drive that emanates from having a passion constantly being reinforced by experiences inside and outside of a healthcare setting, I knew that without certain principles such as resiliency, I would be unable to help others like my specialist helped me. His tenacity inspired me to seek a volunteer experience abroad that challenged me to develop a critical consciousness in an unfamiliar culture. While the societal ills plaguing low-income Scottish communities were similar to those in the U.S., it was difficult to persuade the community members that I was an advocate rather than a critical outsider. The service-users were initially skeptical of my intentions, but I was able to break free from the “voluntourism” stereotype by adapting my dialogue to fit the nuances I encountered. 

Attacking this problem required reaching out to [NAME], my supervisor. Whether it was how to respond to someone who tried to warn me about the “dangers of the neighborhood” or brainstorming a more appropriate phrase in the workout guide I was creating, I treated the uncertainty and problems I encountered as temporary roadblocks that could be overcome with enough effort. Ultimately, drawing upon my resiliency resulted in a community gym guide that the organization later printed en masse to hand out to new members. In light of my previous problems in acclimating to the culture, I was ecstatic to hear that I had made a lasting impact on people in what otherwise would have been a transient experience. 

Ironically, hearing “I don’t know” from a physician ultimately led me to realizing that I want to become one. I believe the principles and lessons derived from that event and the experiences that followed have set me on the path to medical school with the wind at my back. While I dread the day I utter those three words to my patient, I know that admitting so will never dampen my desire to change lives. It is my values and passion in conjunction with the knowledge gained from facing challenges riddled with uncertainty that I will confidently guide others through their toughest times so they too can pursue their passions unencumbered by sickness or fear. 

• It tells a unique story : This story is told in a creative way in which ambiguity is turned into inspiration and effectively describes how this student decided to pursue medicine.
• It shows awareness : It can be easy to paint doctors as all-knowing individuals who have all the answers. But this isn’t realistic! This student brings attention to this and shows their self-awareness by stating they may not always know the answer as a physician, but it won’t stop them from trying to change lives.
• It immerses the reader : The detailed imagery and inclusion of dialogue adds a sense of immediacy and authenticity to the narrative. It brings the reader into the scene and makes the experiences more relatable.
• There’s emotional appeal : The author effectively appeals to the reader's emotions by sharing personal struggles and triumphs. By expressing vulnerability and reflecting on the impact of their experiences, the author carefully creates an emotional connection with the reader.

By employing these writing techniques, the author creates a personal statement that is both compelling and impactful–two traits you’ll notice all of the medical school personal statement examples in this guide have!

When I first learned how to whistle as a child, I couldn’t stop. My whistling was endless, from morning to night, until my exasperated parents told me an old Korean superstition that whistling at night brings out snakes and evil spirits. The fact that they were saying this to tame my newfound talents flew past my head. To keep the snakes and spirits safely at bay, I dutifully stopped whistling after sundown.

Because my parents are both doctors who worked long hours during my childhood, they often could not pick me up after school. As the shadows grew longer and darker in the empty school hallways, I would often avoid bad omens out of fear of what could be lurking, such as steering clear of the 13th classroom. At my violin recitals, I would cross my fingers and knock on wood hoping my parents would be able to get out of work and attend. A lot of the time, I was unable to see my parents’ faces among the audience as I got up on the stage. My superstitious beliefs consumed my mind, and I found myself relentlessly performing these habits without a second thought as to their effectiveness. 

All throughout high school, I felt pressured to follow in my parents’ footsteps and become a physician. From my childhood experiences, my understanding of medicine was limited to the sacrifices my parents made as they were both hard workers and dedicated physicians. My dad had to stay in South Korea to support us, while my mom lived the life of a single mom in America, without actually being a single mom. I had and still have deep respect for their sacrifices, but I also saw the toll it took on our family. As I entered [COLLEGE], I started taking pre-med courses, but by then, I had a complicated relationship with medicine and had internal conflicts about what it meant to be a doctor. 

Just as my childhood superstitious tendencies had been engraved in me without taking a critical look at them, I saw my parents’ lives as doctors as examples of what I should be without questioning it. I didn’t have my own true passion at that point to support this goal. I took some time to reflect within and considered other avenues for my future. Instead of pursuing medicine, I decided to major in Psychology and Public Health. 

When my friend was in a bus accident, I spent a great deal of time in the ICU. When I wasn’t by her bedside, I looked around the ICU, curious about the doctors’ discussing their patients’ progress and their ability to heal others, the spotless, white equipment everywhere, and the quiet, contemplative environment filled with people dedicated to helping their fellow human being in pain. This profound experience inspired me to shadow an ICU physician at [HOSPITAL NAME] Hospital to gain real firsthand experience and to decide if this was truly the right path for me. 

My experiences there transformed my thoughts about what it meant to be a doctor, when the mother of a coma patient clutched at the coat of the attending physician, begging for answers as to why her previously healthy, happy daughter was now fighting for her life. Suddenly, being a doctor was not just science classes and doctor parents missing my recitals as a child. Being a doctor meant having the education and abilities to give comfort to patients’ families, just as much as it meant treating illness and saving lives. The way that the attending calmly communicated methods of recourse and explanations for the coma struck something within me. No one else in the world could have given that mother the relief and counsel that she needed at a time when she was at her most vulnerable. I wanted nothing more than to take on that role and finally knew, after all this experience, that medicine was my calling. 

As a senior student teetering on graduation and going out into the world, and with all the new insight I had gained through shadowing, I decided that becoming a physician was one of my ultimate life goals. With the renewed sense of direction I garnered, along with the firm conviction that a career in medicine is the right path for me, I am confident that I will be able to take on a rigorous pre-med curriculum and succeed. During the time that I was not pre-med, I was able to discover my passion for medicine. As such, this time in my life was instrumental in getting me to where I am today. It would be the privilege of a lifetime to be accepted into [COLLEGE NAME]’s post-baccalaureate program, and I know that it would provide an extraordinary foundation to become a great physician. 

Here are some key points to consider as you reflect on this personal statement:

• It uses engaging storytelling : The personal statement begins with a descriptive and unique childhood anecdote about whistling and superstition, immediately capturing the reader's attention and immersing the reader.
• It has a clear purpose : The personal statement conveys the author's newfound passion and commitment to medicine. It demonstrates a clear understanding of the challenges and responsibilities of being a physician and the desire to make a difference in people's lives.
• It flows well : The essay transitions smoothly from discussing childhood experiences to exploring the author's realization and passion for medicine. The transition is logical and allows the reader to understand the development of the author's aspirations.
• It’s specific : The personal statement mentions shadowing experiences and highlights the author's desire to pursue a rigorous pre-med curriculum. It shows that the author has gained practical exposure to the field and is dedicated to acquiring the necessary knowledge and skills to succeed in it.
• It’s tailored to the institution : The personal statement mentions the student’s desire to be accepted into a specific post-baccalaureate program, indicating research and knowledge about the institution. This demonstrates a genuine interest in the program and a willingness to contribute to its community.

The author's ability to convey their personal experiences and evoke emotion makes this statement stand out. It is a testament to their growth, resilience, and unwavering determination to pursue medicine. 

Warm covers slide off my body as I come to my senses. In the corner of my eyes, dust dances in the amber rays that shine through the blinds. As my fingers tap away at my phone, astray text catches my eye. My childhood friend, [NAME], took his own life at a park in our hometown.

Caught in a moment I could never prepare for, my mind races. I inhale, then exhale. “This changes nothing,” I assure myself. Tears soak my eyes and my vision blurs.

As the days passed, I found it difficult to look at life and school the same way. I grappled with the question of how I could become a doctor knowing that I would witness death again. Cycling through the stages of grief, I became irate on certain days and felt hopeless on others. 

To cope, I went to great lengths to watch my diet, manage my sleep hygiene and ensure that my health came first. Through countless nights, I would flip through pages on various philosophies and religions; of note to me were Buddhism, Christianity and Stoicism. No amount of self care and enlightenment could bring [NAME] back. Instead, it helped me come to terms with the difficult truth that I had been denying: [NAME]’s passing changed everything.

As I came to accept [NAME]’s passing, I developed the belief that we are responsible for ascribing meaning to the sacrifices of those who have passed. Since [NAME] had struggled with addiction, I began reading to better understand the functions of addiction and observe the many ways it manifested, seeking to spread mental health awareness on campus. 

With this knowledge, I would aim to help patients find value in their own lives, in spite of the physical and mental ailments they may face. My responsibility as a doctor would be two-fold - just as I would be responsible for diagnosing and treating patients on a physical level, I must also ensure that their emotional needs are met and they feel comfortable working with me as their doctor. 

With time, I saw the impact of my approach pay off. I enlisted to become co-director of the advocacy branch of [COLLEGE NAME]s Active Minds chapter, spreading my story in hopes it would inspire others. I reached out to students who were struggling with their own mental health and provided them with aid and support using the iCBT tools I learned through [COLLEGE NAME]’s STAND program. 

By taking into account the lives of the patients and their own mental wellbeing, their path to recovery can be much smoother - their quality of life will improve and they will realize that the doctor is working for the betterment of the patient’s life.

It was through these connections that I began to discover my innate passion and talent for guiding others. By ensuring fellow students and friends felt heard and understood, I could ease their worries and alleviate their tensions in life.

I find this property of the human condition charming; all it takes is a touch of connection to realize that the strife and tiredness that so often arises in life does not control us. I wish to give my future patients hope that even if they are suffering from a physical or mental condition, there will always be a blissful part of our soul that we can find ourselves comfortable in during the healing process.

Though many clinicians are involved in this healing process and can provide this necessary ‘calming presence,’ great doctors effectively shoulder an immense amount of trust and responsibility from both their patients and their colleagues. They often decide how to treat patients while balancing their wealth of knowledge with empathy and compassion. 

As a doctor, I would work to use this influence in order to ensure that the needs of people of color, women, LGBTQ+ communities and individuals facing mental illness are properly addressed. My time at [COLLEGE] allowed me to interact and work with members of these communities - opportunities that I did not have in the more culturally homogenous state of [STATE].

My care for patients would extend beyond empathy and compassion. Whether I was looking to elevate my experience in research by administering psychological tests to patients taking initiative to elevate my involvement in Active Minds, [COLLEGE]s mental health organization, I have always sought for ways to pursue new and enriching experiences beyond what was expected of me. 

Rather than taking a top-down approach to medicine, it would be my job to facilitate a connection that allows both the patient and myself to grow and understand more about one another.

Just as I would learn more about each patient and case that I review, I know that I would constantly have to research and incorporate new developments in medicine. I hope to embrace these changes in an effort to understand how the body and mind continue to evolve. By approaching each day as a learning experience, rather than a set mission with a set end, I hope to continue expanding my knowledge by understanding patients better, staying informed on the latest treatments and navigating public policy well beyond medical school and residency.

[NAME]’s passing brought me much heartache and grief. Through time, this grief has become a transformative experience. Rather than lamenting on his passing, I hope to do well on his legacy. Just as his deep laughter once brought joy to my life, perhaps my work will afford a future patient many more days of laughter and life.

There are multiple aspects of this medical school personal statement example that work well:

• It uses an engaging narrative : The personal statement follows a narrative structure, starting with the initial event and progressing through the author's emotional and intellectual development. This structure helps engage the reader and creates a cohesive flow to the story.
• Its integration of personal experience and academic interest : The author effectively connects their personal experience of loss with their academic interest in medicine. They demonstrate how their personal journey led them to develop a strong commitment to mental health advocacy and patient care.
• It uses concrete anecdotes : The author includes specific anecdotes and experiences to illustrate their growth and passion for helping others. These anecdotes provide concrete examples of their commitment to medicine.
• It ends strong : The author mentions their friend’s legacy and their desire to continue it through their work as a physician, which leaves an impression on the readers and adds depth to their motivation to join the field.

This personal statement is emotional and captivating. It provides the committee with a glimpse of who this student is, what they have been through, and how they resiliently used adversity as inspiration to become a better physician and person overall. 

While many students focus on proving their ability to be great physicians, few also prove their ability and desire to be great people overall, but the two go hand in hand! Demonstrating both can make you a more attractive and well-rounded candidate. 

The doctor’s voice faded as I stared blankly at the wall behind her. Tears welled in my eyes, and the staccato sips of the oxygen regulator quickened with my pulse. The words “We can’t do anything for you,” echoed and stung. 

Just a couple of years before, I identified as a healthy, active young woman, but now I felt like a prisoner in my own body. Bound to 24-hour oxygen, I was nearing end-stage pulmonary hypertension from multiple blood clots that turned to scar tissue in my lungs, and the doctor was telling me the disease would only progress.

Just as vividly as I remember the doctor saying nothing could be done, I also remember the day the care team came into my hospital room after my pulmonary thromboendarterectomy to discuss the Results of my most recent pulmonary diffusion scan. My heart pounded. I wanted nothing more than to hear that I would be okay and that I could return to activities like running and backpacking that previously brought me so much joy. 

As my physician pointed out the differences between my pre- and post-op scans, smiles and tears emerged on every face in the room. After two years of severely limited lung capacity, my lungs had nearly normalized, the hypertension was gone, and my heart would heal over the next few months. 

I am often at a loss for words when trying to convey the impact my doctors and care team had on the trajectory of my life, and I would not be who I am today without their empathy and dedication to improving my health. Although I always had a strong interest in medicine, this transformative experience inspired me to pursue a career as a physician so I may help others as my physicians have helped me.

One month after my surgery, I went back to school motivated and eager to advance in my prerequisites and achieve my goal of attending medical school and becoming a physician. I earned As in every class I took, often setting the curve on exams and accepting requests by professors to tutor my peers. 

Outside of school, I sought out non-profit organizations that aligned with my values and fueled my passion for service, health equity, and education. I dedicated my time to Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ) where I helped organize fundraisers to repeal [STATE]s Three Strikes sentencing law. 

I also volunteer at the [CLINIC NAME] where I am conducting a client-based study that will impact clinic policy, procedures, and recruitment to better serve marginalized communities.

Along the way, I discovered a love and gift for human connection. Through these human connections, I learned that being a physician does not always mean “fixing” people’s ailments, but making sure people feel heard and validated as they receive the care every human deserves. 

While working as a medical assistant, I helped take care of a young, female patient who suffered from a worsening and debilitating eye condition. She came to us desperate, scared, and discouraged after being referred out of six clinics. 

When she arrived, I gathered a thorough medical history, taking note of the details leading up to and following the start of her symptoms. As she described her significant decline in vision, she broke down and shared how terrified she was. Drawing from my own experience, I gave her time and space to express her fears and concerns, reassuring her that we were there to take care of her. 

Given her recent travel history, we identified a parasitic infection as a likely diagnosis, and we urgently referred her to the top infectious disease clinic in our area. Following this appointment, the patient emailed our clinic to thank us for listening to her and making her feel like she mattered. 

During times of uncertainty, the most reassuring gift my physicians gave me was their time, allowing me to feel understood and supported. Knowing I have the capacity and tools to do the same for others is one of the many motivations that will carry me through medical school and beyond.

Reflecting on these experiences, I now understand medicine to be as much of a social practice as it is a scientific one, and, as a physician, I will prioritize patient advocacy, empathetic listening, cultural competency, and holistic approaches to care. 

Additionally, after seeing medicine through the lens of a patient, I am fortunate to know what is at stake when someone’s health is stripped from them and am not afraid to be vulnerable or express humility when faced with challenges that do not have a clear resolution. I believe uncovering patient-specific variables is not only key to avoiding generalizations and potential misdiagnoses, but also to fostering the meaningful doctor-patient relationships essential for successful, equitable treatment.

I have been a runner since I was twelve years old but thought I would never run again after I got sick. When running now, my mind sometimes wanders back to that day in the doctor’s office when I sat tethered to an oxygen tank and struggled to accept that life as I knew it was over. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, listen to the rhythmic taps of my shoes on the pavement, and take inventory of the immense gratitude I feel for life and the physicians who gave me mine back.

I smile, open my eyes, and run into that feeling of lightness, knowing I can provide that for others.

If out of all the medical school personal statement examples, this one catches your eye, here are its most noteworthy features that you can implement in your own essay:

• It has an emotional impact : The writer effectively conveys the emotional turmoil they experienced when receiving the diagnosis and hearing the words "We can't do anything for you." The details evoke a sense of empathy, putting the reader right in the writer’s shoes.
• It demonstrates excellence and passion : The writer showcases their academic achievements, earning top grades and setting the curve in their classes. They also describe their involvement in non-profit organizations which demonstrate their dedication, leadership, and commitment to making a positive impact.
• They reflect on medicine : The writer reflects on their understanding of medicine as a social practice in addition to a scientific one. Their acknowledgment of the complexity and uncertainties of medicine shows their willingness to express humility-–an important and often overlooked trait for physicians to have.
• It demonstrates resilience : The passage ends on a hopeful note, as the writer reflects on their ability to run again and the immense gratitude they feel for life and their physicians. They express their determination to provide that sense of lightness and hope to others, proving they have clear direction and intent.

This personal statement is highly reflective, shows the writer’s vulnerability and humility, and proves they have clear goals that they are highly motivated to achieve!

The gravity of a phone call was something I had not fully understood until May 7, 2022. Mere weeks after her wedding, my cousin reached out to our family and delivered news none of us were prepared for. My aunt, affectionately called [AUNT’S NAME] in our native language Telugu, had fallen down the stairs and vomited. My cousin explained that [AUNT’S NAME]'s speech was impaired after the fall, but we did not expect to hear the unimaginable - she was diagnosed with glioblastoma. I felt my cousin's words on a visceral level, trying to put together the pieces she relayed over the phone. [AUNT’S NAME] was the light of every room she walked into, and as a nurse she was able to share her benevolence with patients.

Hearing she was no longer her full-of life self reflected how quickly things would never be the same. Within weeks, she was at [HOSPITAL] undergoing a craniotomy to extract her frontal lobe tumors. The uncertainty my family felt on the ride to visit her post-operation was palpable. Upon arriving, we were assured by the neurosurgeons that the surgery was successful and her tumors were removed. The thorough explanations with which they answered our endless inquiries were immediately noticeable, and I appreciated their patience and compassion in ensuring we were updated on her condition even after a lengthy operation. [AUNT’S NAME] underwent chemotherapy and radiation shortly after. We visited her in August, and the toll these procedures took on her was evident. She could not speak how she once did and her memory and mobility declined: it was painful to see her like this. On Christmas Eve, we visited her as she lay on the hospice bed, opening her eyes every few seconds. She could not experience the new year.

What startled me the most about [AUNT’S NAME]'s death was how sudden everything happened. How could someone who was happy and dancing in April be no longer here with us by December? Glioblastoma had the staggering ability to transform someone who brought warmth and light to everyone into a shell of her former self. As someone fascinated with healthcare since middle school, I had been confident in the ability of medicine to cure any patient's condition. But the doctors did their best, and it still was not enough to save [AUNT’S NAME]'s life. All of their education, training, and work could not fix her affliction. 

Arriving at that realization, I candidly reflected on the true societal value of physicians. The advocacy and support they gave our family during our darkest moments together was nothing short of meritorious. The neurosurgeons and oncologists used their medical knowledge to form a treatment plan around my aunt, and their contributions made all the difference despite her tumors' aggressiveness. More importantly, they prioritized explaining their work to our family in a comprehensible and empathetic way very few others can and ensured she was comfortable during her final days. After recognizing their impact, I felt a calling to also provide care and empathy for patients and their families during moments of need, knowing how much that meant to our family. Much like [AUNT’S NAME] was a shining light in our lives, her doctors provided light for us in the form of knowledge and empathy in our darkest hours. Invigorated to experience what it was like to be an advocate for patients like [AUNT’S NAME], I sought to witness firsthand the work physicians do.

My experience shadowing Dr. [NAME] enabled me to connect with patients from all walks of life. I gained clinical experience working at his clinic and, during my time there, was able to interact with patients like [NAME], who had such severe peripheral neuropathy that he was unable to even pick up a cup of water. Realizing [NAME] was once vibrant and healthy like [AUNT’S NAME] was, I knew [NAME] had the ability and privilege to guide him through this condition beyond merely prescribing medications. I saw my aunt in [NAME], and I knew having the assistance of [NAME] meant the world to him as he navigated living with his condition.

The ephemerality of life I understood following [AUNT’S NAME]s death compelled me to further dedicate my efforts towards serving disadvantaged people through volunteer work. From helping coordinate food drives to serving the homeless at soup kitchens, I was able to connect with local communities by offering hope to the underserved. These experiences developed in me a desire and commitment to apply my medical knowledge in treating patients of various backgrounds with the end goal of improving my community's health. My experiences fostering relationships with patients perpetually remind me of how gratifying it is hearing people from different walks of life and being their advocate throughout their journey of overcoming the illnesses they have.

My desire to complete graduate-level coursework is attributed to my eagerness to pursue a career in medicine. I believe this will hone my study skills and enhance my work ethic so I can excel in medical school and beyond. In addition to developing my study skills, I hope to actively engage in the community and continue shadowing to strengthen my competence to serve patients as their resolute advocate by offering hope in their lowest times.

It’s not unusual for students to write about their own or a loved one’s experience being ill in their medical school personal statement. While the topic may be common, there are ways to still ensure you stand out! Here’s how this student does so:

• It’s clear and concise : Despite the emotional nature of the subject matter, the writing remains clear and concise. The writer effectively conveys their thoughts and experiences using precise language and impactful imagery.
• It adds personal touches : Rather than just focusing on their aunt’s experience with her illness, they give the readers a glimpse into their own thought process, what they felt and saw during this challenging time.
• It’s highly reflective : The writer candidly reflects on their initial confidence in medicine's ability to cure any condition and their subsequent realization that even the doctors' best efforts were not enough to save their aunt's life. This introspection adds depth, maturity, and authenticity to the narrative.
• There’s a lesson learned : Using their aunt’s story, the writer acknowledges and appreciates the advocacy, support, and empathy provided by their aunt's doctors and explains the importance of physicians that extends beyond just treating sickness, showcasing their well-rounded perspective of a physician’s role.

Overall, these aspects contribute to the effectiveness of the writing by creating an emotionally resonant narrative, highlighting personal growth and reflection, and emphasizing the writer's commitment to compassionate care! 

They may take a similar direction as other students, but their anecdote is highly personal which ensures their personal statement is distinct nonetheless!

I woke up suddenly in agony, unable to move my leg. I shouted over to my mom feeling confused and helpless. I was only 11 years old and had never felt this type of pain. The pain endured, simply getting out of bed was a daily struggle. I met with dozens of specialists looking for answers. However, no one was able to diagnose me, deferring the disability as something musculoskeletal with no real solution. I felt demoralized that I was unable to run around with my friends anymore. The hospital became a revolving door. This pain was consuming my life. No one seemed to understand my urgency. After six long months of little progress, I began to lose hope that I would ever be the same. That was when I met Dr. [NAME].

His attention towards my ailment was different. His demeanor of a warm smile and pure enthusiasm made me feel immediately at ease. He was the only doctor that spoke directly to me, instead of to my parents. For the first time, I felt like I mattered. Although I was not sure he would find the solution to my problem, I knew I found someone who would do everything in his power to try. Fortunately, Dr. [NAME]s investment in my well-being helped determine I was suffering from a psoas impingement. Shortly after surgery, I was able to move my leg again, pain-free. Within a few months, to my surprise, I was able to walk without pain. From that moment on, I wanted to be just like Dr. [NAME]. I wanted to be a vector of hope. I wanted to be a doctor. 

In college, I wanted to test my own volition for medicine. After volunteering in the ER, I became a [CITY] EMT. While I cherished the responsibility of knowing my patients entrusted me with their health, I experienced first hand that my role was far more than having medical knowledge as a first responder. I recall [NAME], a veteran whom I met transporting from dialysis every week. As I helped him onto bed, I heard him ask an aide for water. When I returned for the nurse’s signature, I noticed he still had not gotten his water and so got it for him instead. [NAME] was a bilateral amputee and due to his limited mobility, was completely dependent on his caregivers. 

Although I could not understand [NAME]’s struggles, I knew how it felt to be in a vulnerable state from my own experience as a patient. I could not change [NAME]’s situation; however, I had the opportunity to give [NAME] the same sense of relevance that Dr. [NAME] gave me. I tried to make [NAME] feel at ease – listening and validating his concerns. I connected with him as a person and not just a patient, enabling him to regain a sense of autonomy despite his disabling circumstances. I began to visit him outside of work and helped him find a prosthetist. Seeing the impact I was able to have on [NAME] and so many others as an EMT, further solidified my desire to become a doctor. 

Following graduation, I embarked on a unique opportunity to work for Count Me In (CMI), a research organization at the [INSTITUTE NAME]. CMI applies a patient-centered approach to cancer research, partnering directly with patients and empowering them as experts of their own disease. I analyze patient medical records for all metastatic and rare cancers. Initially, it was challenging because most patients were terminally-ill. Each new record was like starting a book that I knew was going to have an unfortunate ending. I found myself subconsciously reconstructing the patient’s narrative. It was difficult to recount their years of trauma only as a bystander without any ability to change their outcome. 

Fortunately, I was able to meet several patients including [NAME], a patient diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. I will always remember the enthusiasm she spoke with as she described how grateful she was for being a part of CMI. She emphasized how it helped her regain a sense of control over her disease and provided purpose to her suffering. It was empowering to see her excitement for the potential of her data helping others and sense of fulfillment from being involved in her own cancer’s research. I realized the reward of assisting patients attain a sense of autonomy superseded any emotional struggle I may experience studying their hardships. 

I applied to medical school in 2018 following graduation and again in 2020. Since my last application, I have continued to work for CMI, allowing me countless meaningful patient interactions through advisory council meetings and virtual conferences. Each encounter has been a reminder to stay on course, reinforcing my desire to become a physician dedicated to helping patients. CMI has given me the tools and skills needed to be a strong and effective champion of patient advocacy. As a doctor, I will leverage this experience to push for patient autonomy and prioritize patients at the forefront of their care. 

My decision to reapply reflects my conviction that I will be an impactful physician attuned to my patients’ needs. It reflects my endurance as an applicant, which will pay dividends in the long and difficult journey that is medical school and residency. Furthermore, I believe this endurance will allow me to serve as a source of strength for my patients in their disease pathologies, never giving up on finding a solution. I want nothing more than to be a physician. I want to be like Dr. [NAME]. I want to be Dr. [WRITER’S NAME]

Here’s what makes this personal statement effective: 

• It demonstrates persistence and resilience : The personal statement underscores the writer's persistence and resilience in the face of challenges. They mention reapplying to medical school and continuing to work for CMI, despite previous application setbacks.
• It showcases clear communication skills : The writer effectively communicates their thoughts, experiences, and motivations using precise language and impactful storytelling. This demonstrates their ability to articulate their ideas and experiences effectively, a valuable skill for a future physician.
• It remains positive : Despite the challenges described, the writer maintains an overall positive and hopeful tone. The writer focuses on the lessons learned and the impact they can make as a future physician. They do not aim to evoke pity, which is a smart move because it never goes well with admissions committees!
• It’s authentic : The writing feels genuine and authentic, reflecting the writer's personal experiences, emotions, and motivations. This authenticity makes the personal statement more relatable and compelling to read.

While this personal statement certainly tugs at the heartstrings, it goes beyond simply telling a sad story. Using their difficult experience, they share their inspiration to become a physician, demonstrate their perseverance, and prove they’re dedicated to medicine.

“Who is Wilson and can you tell him that I have basketball practice tonight?” I joked to an assembly of doctors and nurses surrounding my hospital bed. Rather than starting my senior year of high school, I was admitted to the hospital and subjected to several days of relentless testing and consultations. Ultimately, it was confirmed that I was one of 30,000 people in the world diagnosed with Wilson’s disease, a rare copper metabolism disorder that can cause fulminant liver failure. This reserved me a status 1A spot on the national transplant list, a status generally reserved for those who have a prognosis of only a few days of survival. Over the next nine days, I was encephalopathic – dozing in and out of consciousness. Due to the compassionate and selfless act of a twenty--year--old named [NAME], I overcame the inevitable. When no cadaveric donors were available, [NAME] chose to donate a portion of her liver to give me a fighting chance to live. The seventeen-hour surgery and subsequent procedures over the following weeks kick-started an arduous road to recovery and gave me a newfound appreciation for what it means to live. My journey, although daunting, instilled in me a high regard for the fragility of life and has inspired me to want to help others preserve it.

Prior to my own four-month hospital stay, I was no stranger to the weight of a patient’s room. At ten years old, a time when most kids rely on their mom, I instead fulfilled a very different role as mine battled breast cancer. Attending every chemotherapy appointment, emergency room visit, and trip to pick out a new wig, I served as a part of my mom’s care team. I could always be found by her side, painting her nails or watching marathons of I Love Lucy on days when she did not have the strength to get out of bed. Despite all efforts, I lost her. However, I found solace with a newfound appreciation for the impact of death. While she may have physically departed from my presence, her lessons and memories continue to have a hold. My mom’s diagnosis revealed her zest for perseverance. She taught me the immeasurable value of emotional support, which empowered me to provide that to others. I decided to run for the position of Philanthropy Chairman of my sorority at [COLLEGE] and was elected. With this appointment, I strengthened our chapter’s ties with Breastcancer.org — an online forum that supports patients and their families as they are battling breast cancer. I was responsible for raising money and awareness and organized a basketball tournament with the entire student body to support the cause. Just as I sat by my mom’s side throughout every part of her journey, I know she is guiding me wherever my journey leads. And it is because of her that I found resilience when I fought my own battles 7 years later. 

Through my personal struggles as a liver transplant recipient, I was invested in understanding more about my disease process. This desire further sparked my interest in the field of medicine and catalyzed my scientific curiosity to be involved in research. I was given the fortuitous opportunity to study organ rejection patterns and the efficacy of two immunosuppressants - Tacrolimus and Sirolimus. Working alongside Dr. [NAME], my former physician while I was a patient at [HOSPITAL], I gained experience on the power of research. My project entailed retrospectively reviewing the Nemours transplant database and collecting data on all liver transplant recipients. Additionally, I had the opportunity to speak and relate directly to patients and their families. Through my firsthand experiences as both a patient and a research assistant, I know that research is an integral component of medical education and advancement. I hope to continue my involvement in investigative and clinical outcomes research in medical school and as a future physician. 

Furthermore, I have quickly realized the sense of satisfaction and purpose I gain from sharing my story with others. I solidified my commitment to medicine by enrolling in the [COLLEGE]’s Pre-Health Post-Baccalaureate program. To further bolster my education, I became a medical scribe and inserted myself at the center of the patient-provider interaction. I empower my patients to ask questions and provide them with a say in their own care. With this experience, I have learned that bedside manner is just as important as having the medical knowledge to diagnose and treat illness. As someone who has spent time both in hospital beds and preparing beds for medical procedures, I understand the anxiety and complications that come with human health and take pride in sharing my emotional support with my patients each day.

Rather than allowing my diagnosis to define me, I named my puppy Wilson to remind myself of my journey and perseverance. As I put on my scrubs each morning and take Wilson for a walk, my motivation to become a physician grows stronger. My past has enabled me to appreciate the importance of compassion, value of human life, and the kind of person I want to become. I have fully immersed myself in the field and am ready to embark on the next chapter of my life as a future physician—Wilson always at my side.

The following elements make this a winning personal statement:

• It tells a unique personal story : The writer shares a personal journey that is intimate and impactful. From being diagnosed with a rare disease to experiencing the loss of their mother to cancer, the writer's personal experiences add depth and emotional resonance to their narrative.
• It demonstrates a commitment to patient advocacy: The writer's philanthropic activities and role as a medical scribe reflect their dedication to advocating for patients. They recognize the importance of empowering patients and involving them in their own care, which are all green flags for the admission committee!
• The little details matter : Naming their puppy Wilson as a reminder of their journey and perseverance adds a nice personal touch and symbolizes the writer's unwavering motivation to become a physician. It conveys their deep connection to their experiences and their drive to make a difference. 

In case these 15 personal statement examples aren’t enough, you can access a dozen more samples to spark your creativity and help you write a stellar statement!

Steps to Write Your Personal Statement for Medical School

After reviewing the above medical school personal statement examples, you likely noticed some patterns and have a rough idea of how to structure your statement. But, if you’re still feeling a bit unsure about diving into the writing process, here’s a simple roadmap to get you started :

• Step one : Spend considerable time on the brainstorming process and reflect on the experiences that have shaped your desire to pursue medicine. Consider your personal growth, the challenges you’ve overcome, your meaningful encounters, and your career aspirations.
• Step two : Narrow your choices down and choose one significant story that you can connect your other meaningful experiences to.
• Step three : Use effective storytelling throughout your essay. Show, don’t tell, be descriptive, and immerse your readers! Make sure your story is authentic and reflects your unique perspective.
• Step four : Prove you’ve done your research and carefully considered your medical school choice. Show how your career goals and interests align with your school’s values.
• Step five : Revise and edit your work multiple times until you’re satisfied with it, even if it means rewriting your entire essay or changing your central narrative! 
• Step six : Get feedback from a trusted friend, family member, or mentor to catch any lingering errors or typos.
• Step seven : Be authentic in your personal statement. Don’t try to impress the admissions committee by using overly embellished or exaggerated stories! Admissions committees appreciate honesty and genuine passion, and they can typically see right through insincerity!

Although writing your personal statement may seem overwhelming at first, following these steps and reflecting on the effective elements of the medical school personal statement examples above should help you complete this application requirement with more confidence!

FAQs: Med School Personal Statements

We’ve gone over several medical school personal statement examples, provided you with a run-down of how to approach your statement, and hopefully instilled some hope and motivation in you to begin your writing journey. 

In case you have any remaining concerns about this application component, here are the answers to frequently asked questions about personal statements for med school! 

1. What Should a Medical School Personal Statement Say?

Your medical school personal statement should clearly articulate your genuine interest in the field and explain what drives you to become a doctor. This could be a personal story, an influential experience, or a deep-rooted desire to make a positive impact on people's lives through healthcare.

You should also share relevant personal experiences that have shaped your decision to pursue medicine and discuss your proudest accomplishments, whether it be extracurriculars , academic achievements, or volunteer endeavors.

Ensure your narrative is unique and that you highlight the qualities that make you a strong candidate for medical school.

2. How Should I Start My Personal Statement for Medical School?

Start your statements as all of the medical school personal statement examples in this guide have—with a unique and intriguing hook. Share an experience that influenced you to become a physician and fully immerse your reader by being descriptive and focusing on several senses.

Try to involve your reader in your writing by painting a vivid picture for them!

3. What Should Be Avoided In a Personal Statement for Medical School?

While there are endless topics you can choose to write about in your personal statement, you should avoid doing the following :

• Being generic : Have specific goals, intentions, and concrete examples to demonstrate your commitment to medicine.
• Being cliche : Don’t use overused quotes or claim you pursued medicine to change the world. The committee has seen it a million times and wants deeper insight into what medicine means to you and what kind of physician you hope to become.
• The Debbie downer : Remain positive in your personal statement, even if you’re mentioning hardship you experienced!
• Risky humor : while adding some humor into your statement can elevate it and add personality to it, you want to be very careful with the types of jokes you use and err on the side of caution by avoiding any potentially offensive or niche jokes.
• Neglecting to edit your work : Typos, spelling errors, or grammatical mistakes will reduce the efficacy of your statement. Do not skip the final step of proofreading your work!

By avoiding these common mistakes, you’ll be one step closer to writing an excellent med school personal statement!

Final Thoughts

Remember, your personal statement is your opportunity to make a lasting impression on the admissions committee. It’s your time to highlight your achievements and share those transformative experiences that made you realize your calling and the impact you want to make in the world!

Be genuine, think outside of the box, tell your story, and let your passion for medicine shine through. Good luck!

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12 Steps to a Perfect Medical School Personal Statement (with before and after example)

Have you ever read an example med school personal statement and thought, Wow... I could never write something that good ?

That’s because you’re only seeing the finished product. Take it from me, an editor, someone who sees the essays first thing in the morning without their makeup on.

artist Stephan Schmitz - https://www.theispot.com/artist/schmitz

See all those broken plates? Those are all the personal statement rough drafts, the discarded sentences, the gutted paragraphs, all the sweat and tears of the revision process . No one sees that. They see a guy miraculously juggling five plates at once.

You’re like that juggler - trying to balance multiple things at once in your personal statement, all within certain strict limitations. And guess what? You’ll have to break a few plates before you get it right.

So… let’s break some plates (maybe some hearts and spirits too).

I invite you along to play the role of editor with me. You’ll choose your own path as we go through 12 steps of revision to perfect the personal statement.

I’ll give a “before” version of each section of an example personal statement, and you’ll have to call the 12 shots about how we make it better. Ready?

Default Outline for Personal Statement

Section 1 - hook.

Hook (BEFORE)

Step 1: Cut down on length

Step 2: Remove the negativity

Step 3: Grab More Attention

Hook (AFTER)

Section 2 - When/Why Medicine

When/Why Medicine (BEFORE)

Step 4: Remove red flags

Step 5: Connect to personal narrative

Step 6: Add more definitive “Why Medicine”

When/Why Medicine (AFTER)

Section 3 - Exposure

Exposure (BEFORE):

Step 7: Remove informal language

Step 8: Show more personal value as a candidate

Exposure (AFTER)

Optional - Explain Issues with Conduct/Grades

Section 4 - meaningful contributions.

Meaningful Contributions (BEFORE)

Step 9: Include above-and-beyond contributions

Step 10: Emphasize impact on others

Meaningful Contributions (AFTER)

Section 5 - Why You/Conclusion

Why You/Conclusion (BEFORE)

Step 11: Balance your voice with professionalism

Step 12: Add more style, cut down on summary

Why You/Conclusion (AFTER)

COMPLETE “Before” Draft

Complete “after” draft.

Don’t have the time or energy for this Do-It-Yourself project?

Then BOOK A FREE MEETING with our expert medical school advisors for more guidance. We’ve helped hundreds of students write their personal statements (including the sample below), and we’d love to help you on your writing journey!

Obviously this can vary, but let’s keep it simple:

Optional: Explain Issues with Grades/Conduct

The goal here is to grab the readers’ attention and compel them to keep reading. Ideally, the hook will pose a problem, share an unexpected challenge, or reverse the readers’ expectations about a situation.

Characteristics of a Good Hook :

* Not too long

* Grabs attention

* Initiates the plot

DIRECTIONS: Read the excerpt below and consider what changes you’d make, both big-picture and small-picture.

HOOK (BEFORE) :

Throughout high school and college, I have been supporting my family in more ways than one. My mother needed a lot of support due to her bad arthritis and physical limitations. It was not the most ideal situation, and it felt like I was living a double life. I went to a pretty good high school since my parents wanted me to have a decent education, but the kids there were protected and shielded from most inconveniences in life. Someone from my background was not very welcome. It was jarring, as vapid girls my age talked about going to equestrian classes and how they knew someone on the Yale admissions committee, while I came to school from my two-bedroom non-air-conditioned home that my family of four shared. I was a nanny at the age of 12 and would juggle taking care of 3-4 kids every week. My dad unfortunately got pretty ill during this time (brain aneurysm and subsequent recovery), so it was definitely a weird time. I got brutally harassed by a girl at school after she found out about my living situation, so I learned to form two identities. In school, I was someone who fake-laughed with people and sympathized with the horrors of a girl’s parents buying a pony she didn’t like. I pretended to act excited for another girl’s European vacation (in reality I was jealous).

Pick an aspect to fix:

Step 3: Grab more attention

Jump to the After version.

STEP 1: CUT DOWN ON LENGTH

Indeed. Currently this opener is ~1300 characters, which is disproportionate for our total space (5300 characters). Hooks should probably be around 700-800 characters instead, so that the remaining sections can have 1000+ each.

What to cut? We want it to be ~10 lines of text, so take a shot at cutting ~5-6 lines.

Your answer:

_____________________________________________________________________

My approach:

Without compromising the necessary context, you should cut anything that could go in the Disadvantaged Essay instead, especially the “facts” of the situation that don’t require much editorialization. Admissions committees read the disadvantaged essay before any of the other writing in the application.

STEP 2: REMOVE THE NEGATIVITY

This is a far more common problem than you’d think. For one, it’s hard for us to know how our tone and voice are coming across. Secondly, we sometimes write about things while they’re still “fresh wounds,” leaving room for resentment to creep in.

What’s too negative? Make a list below of the words/phrases/sentences from our sample hook that seem too negative:

fake-laughed

pretended to act excited

the horrors of a girl’s parents buying a pony she didn’t like

I can sympathize with the writer, but there’s no point in having a negative spin when you can achieve the same impact with a positive spin.

Simply mentioning one or two details like the equestrian classes will go a long way.  

STEP 3: GRAB MORE ATTENTION

Turn the whole hook into a contrast between life at home and life at school. Give it a metaphor that makes it accessible and memorable. Break it up into shorter paragraphs to make it more digestible.  

HOOK (AFTER):

Throughout high school, my life felt like a less glamorous version of Hannah Montana. While Hannah transformed into a pop star after school, I transformed into a nanny. And it wasn’t any regular babysitting job either; at my peak, I managed a gaggle of 14 kids. In one way, school was a sanctuary; there was order, cleanliness, and a schedule. After school, it was all diaper-and-tantrum-filled chaos.

The juxtaposition between home and school was also pronounced due to money. I didn’t understand my classmates’ wealth until they started talking about equestrian classes and Maseratis. Although my life was by no means fun, I chose to stay home for college since my family needed my presence. My father had a brain aneurysm when I was 14, and my family was still facing the remnants of that event.

What we’re looking for here:

* Motivations that build directly off what makes the candidate unique

* A good combination of selflessness (helping others) and self-interest (how the career will fulfill/stimulate you unlike any other)

* A nice balance of idealism and realism - neither naive nor overblown

WHEN/WHY MEDICINE (BEFORE) :

My decision to become a doctor was a culmination of events and experiences that led to an eventual realization, rather than one single revelation. When I first started at my university, I was an 18-year-old who had no clue what to do in life. For one year, I explored pharmacy and finance, but the drudgery of the work made me turn away from these professions. At the start of my second year, I decided to volunteer at the ER to see what the hospital environment was like. Looking back, this mundane decision was a godsend of exposure and clarification. I went into ER expecting to give out glasses of water and wheel patients around. But it was a lot more. I saw patients who were experiencing the worst moments of their lives, and I was beyond my comfort zone. However, I loved interacting with patients, enjoyed being in the hospital, and had a knack for talking and making people feel better.

I started the Pathfinder Internship to determine whether I wanted to be a nurse or a doctor. The first three months of the internship were at the Oncology/General Care Unit, where it was incredibly depressing. I felt so helpless seeing people die. Nurses and doctors  were mainly just keeping people alive, as most patients were already permanent victims of cancer or chronic unregulated conditions. I did the rest of my rotations at an urgent care clinic and birth center, which were way less depressing, and many times patients left feeling better. During this time, I realized the doctor’s role matched me better than a nurse; I liked how doctors had creative control to create optimal treatment plans for patients. I had already shadowed two interventional cardiologists and an orthopedic surgeon, and I knew I wanted to have a connection with patients and create medical care that suited their needs. Also, by this time, I had started my global health minor, and was learning all about preventative care, women’s health, and disparities in healthcare. The combined clinical care experiences, my interest in science, and the global health minor all came together in a beautiful way to point me into medicine.

STEP 4: REMOVE RED FLAGS

mundane decision

incredibly depressing

permanent victims

It’s good to be honest and to show that you’ve experienced medicine’s challenges, but these choices in diction will do more harm than good. Let’s nix them.

STEP 5: CONNECT TO PERSONAL NARRATIVE

Right now, section two seems to exist in isolation from our hook, so we’ll want to bring back aspects of the family situation, namely the father’s medical issues, so that we can see the narrative building cohesively.

STEP 6: ADD MORE DEFINITIVE “WHY MEDICINE”

Right now, the “came together in a beautiful way” line is too vague and impressionistic. The writer would benefit from creating a more specific set of criteria that medicine can offer in a career.

Your “Why Medicine” response should not leave any holes or gaps that would tempt the reader to ask, “Why not social work?” or “Why not research?”

WHEN/WHY MEDICINE (AFTER):

After earning my way into a UC college, I dabbled in finance, pharmacy, and psychology, feeling somewhat clueless about what I wanted. Earlier, I had tentatively chosen a biochemistry major, and over time the pre-med path grew more intriguing. I decided to volunteer in the ER during my second year, a weekly commitment that allowed enough time to assist my family again when my dad lost his job. It was one of the best decisions I ever made, especially since the entire ER team went out of its way to expose me to the field. I grew to love each shift as I interacted with people, observed action-packed procedures, and worked in tandem with staff to smooth out workflow. Around this time, I shadowed cardiologists and orthopedic surgeons, and loved the atmosphere of teamwork and patient care. Medicine drew me in, but I was still unsure about what particular role I would fill.

I received the direction I needed during my Pathfinder Internship, where I first rotated in a hospice ward to help terminally ill patients. As I tried to make their passing more dignified, it reminded me of my dad’s recovery, when my family was given no clear prognosis. I knew that patience and presence of mind were key. Even if death was certain, these patients needed help maintaining normalcy. I continued to Expresscare, a small clinic which diagnosed a wide variety of underserved patients. Later on in the Birth Center, I observed OB/GYNs creating long-term and short-term solutions that fundamentally shaped patients’ lives. I wanted to be in a similar position, confidently resolving health issues while providing comfort through both knowledge and bedside manner. Whether it was ER doctors turning off a defibrillator gone awry, OB/GYNs working through unanticipated surgical challenges, or cardiologists providing long-term care, these physicians embodied the roles I wanted to play: decision maker, advocate, and trusted healer.

* A sense of your growing passions within medicine

* Some niche involvement that builds on “Why Medicine” motivations

EXPOSURE (BEFORE):

During this same time, I started my Global Health minor, and my vision became clearer. Global health involves helping those who are often ignored by medicine. I knew that medicine was not like Grey’s Anatomy or Dr. House. There are people who are left behind. I knew what it felt like to be an outsider, as I would transition from a nanny to “one of the girls” in high school and college. I knew how lonely it felt when my dad didn’t have the proper insurance during his job loss, and we didn’t know what to do. My vision in medicine is to level the playing field for all people seeking medical care by doing what fulfills me the most. In the end, it all came together. Volunteering in the ER, interning through Pathfinder, and shadowing doctors helped me discover my calling.

STEP 7: REMOVE INFORMAL LANGUAGE

Make a short list of words/phrases that don’t seem appropriate:

Grey’s Anatomy

Even though the student is specifically saying medicine is NOT like these TV shows, it still seems like the wrong context or reference point, especially in relation to global health.

Mentioning pop culture versions of medicine is usually ill-advised, and this candidate can make her point just as effectively without them.

STEP 8: SHOW MORE PERSONAL VALUE AS A CANDIDATE

At this point in the essay, the candidate has already explained her motivations towards medicine, so the final few lines of this paragraph feel redundant.

We don’t have a lot of characters to spare, so she’d be better off showcasing the value of her global health minor (the skills, insights, lessons, etc.)

EXPOSURE (AFTER):

My rotations at Pathfinder and ER volunteering exposed me to diverse, underserved patients, and these interactions inspired me to pursue a Global Health minor to help those marginalized by medicine. On a smaller scale, I knew what it was like to be an outsider, as I transitioned from a messy-haired, sweaty-faced nanny to “one of the girls” at school. I knew how lonely and unsettling it felt when my dad didn’t have insurance during his job loss. Global health offered avenues for putting this empathy into action and showed me the importance of solidarity, in which physicians work WITH patients, not just FOR them. The minor taught me about large-scale entities that govern and dictate the health of the masses, and the tools needed to make healthcare more attainable. The minor also instilled cultural competence, responsibility, and social justice.

This did not apply for this student, but it might for YOU(?).

Want to know the most tactful way to explain that bad semester, your MCAT struggles, or other such snafus?

* Tangible value of your insights and experiences within medicine

* Your ability to leave things better than you found them

MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTIONS (BEFORE):

My interest in providing culturally competent care and helping marginalized people in medicine helped me during an Expresscare shift when I eased the fears of an undocumented teenager who thought he might have HIV after one of his several partners was infected. It felt empowering to explain STDs, safe sex, HIV, and PreP/Truvada, all in order to help the NP determine a course of action. I loved advocating for patients who didn’t have proper insurance, and felt gratified when the NP and I found another clinic where patients could receive affordable care.

STEP 9: INCLUDE ABOVE-AND-BEYOND CONTRIBUTIONS

There are two aspects that stand out as being underdeveloped: the candidate’s scope of responsibility and her above-and-beyond efforts. After some brainstorming, she was able to add meaningful details in these areas.

NOTE: this does not mean that you should create a laundry-list of all your tasks and responsibilities. It means focusing on the actions and efforts that exceeded expectations.

STEP 10: EMPHASIZE IMPACT ON OTHERS

Sometimes a paragraph needs more examples so that the one story or patient case doesn’t seem anomalous, but rather the norm for you. Giving 2-3 examples of your impact on different types of patients will show your range and ability to advocate for diverse populations.

MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTIONS (AFTER):

This background helped me during an Expresscare shift, as I eased the fears of an undocumented teenager who thought he had HIV after his partner was infected. It felt empowering to explain STDs, safe sex, HIV, and PreP/Truvada, making the patient feel more in control. In this role, I often contacted clinics that admit uninsured patients to help others access care during vulnerable times. My global health training also helped me coach a black woman through a difficult delivery alongside nurses. Through my numerous Maternal Health classes, I knew that black women have double the maternal mortality rates in America, and case studies suggest that valid concerns are often not taken seriously. Therefore, I made sure to follow through on requests, such as taking temperature and BP when she felt feverish. I remained at her side for the last couple hours of delivery, and she said she felt safe knowing someone was there for her. As a physician, I will implement these valuable lessons in my future practice to make every patient feel as safe and cared for as possible.

* Stylistic callback to the intro and themes

* Reiteration of biggest reasons admissions committees should choose you

WHY YOU/CONCLUSION (BEFORE):

In the end, my path in deciding to pursue medicine, especially a medical career that focuses on the medically underserved, was a culmination of years of life experience and exploration into the field. It started as a love of basic science, which led to choosing biochemistry and cell biology as a major. The ER volunteering gig introduced me to clinical medicine, and the Palomar internship confirmed that becoming a physician was my calling. My experiences as an outsider, and a person who had to juggle multiple lifes challenges, made me especially sensitive to those who are marginalized and overwhelmed, inspiring me to pursue a career in medicine that focuses on bringing care to marginalized folks.

STEP 11: BALANCE YOUR VOICE WITH PROFESSIONALISM

volunteering gig

marginalized folks

*my calling

Normally, there’s nothing wrong with ‘gig’ and ‘folks,’ but they seem a bit colloquial for a personal statement. Again, the candidate could communicate the same message without these words, so it’s not worth using diction that could be misconstrued.

*Although ‘my calling’ isn’t too informal, it’s a rather cliche phrase that might make the admissions committees recoil in disgust.

STEP 12: ADD MORE STYLE, CUT DOWN ON SUMMARY

This is a common problem for conclusions. In school, we’re taught that the conclusion should merely summarize the main points of the essay. But that’s short-sighted and ultimately pretty boring. Yes, you need to reiterate certain aspects, but you should use stylistic callbacks when doing so.

Another common problem is candidates spending too much time restating “Why Medicine” reasons, rather than emphasizing what THEY can bring to the table. The key is to sell yourself without sounding full of yourself .

WHY YOU/CONCLUSION (AFTER):

Although my Nanny Montana days are behind me, this experience has helped me empathize with patients who are forced to manage multiple obligations and move between differing realities. I have experiences from across the healthcare spectrum, as both a loved one of an uninsured patient and a scholar looking to improve conditions for all in the long-term. My background as an outsider, who had to juggle multiple life challenges, made me especially sensitive to the marginalized and overwhelmed, inspiring me to pursue a career in medicine that focuses on empowering others and protecting their well-being.

So, at this point, we’ve changed the essay in 12 different ways - 12 broken plates, if you will. And really, each of these changes required a few iterations, so you can multiply those plates by two or three.

Yes, it’s a messy process, but it results in a beautiful presentation - an essay that successfully juggles all of its primary goals.

Remember: we can help. BOOK A FREE MEETING with our expert medical school advisors for more guidance.

Feel free to leave questions in the comments section below, and we’ll respond to you personally! Best of luck with your personal statement drafts!

Add-On: Explaining Issues with Grades/Conduct

Need to explain some elephant in the room to the admissions committees? Follow this sentence-by-sentence outline, and you’ll be just fine (or as fine as you can be!).

1-2 sentences to explain the factors that led to the issue

It's wise to let the facts speak for themselves. If there were extenuating circumstances that led to this anomalous blip in your record, make sure to include those as evidence, BUT DON'T editorialize or try to make excuses for what happened. The goal in the beginning is to just acknowledge and own up to the failure/mistake.

1-2 sentences to explain how you've rectified the issue

This will depend a lot on your situation, but typically, it will involve some kind of additional tutoring, office hours, retaken classes, better time-management, etc. It might involve probation. Beyond explaining the requirements you fulfilled and your upward trend in grades, discuss the ways you've sought to improve overall as a person.

1-2 sentences to explain the growth, personal qualities, and lessons you’ve gained

Again, this will depend a lot on your situation. Perhaps there's some activity or endeavor that you can use as "proof" of your growth as a person (i.e. tutoring other struggling students or serving on the student judiciary board). If not, just explain what you learned from the experience and how it's turned you into a better person moving forward.

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Brief State Non-Medical Exemptions from School Immunization Requirements

All 50 states and Washington D.C. have laws requiring certain vaccines for students to attend school. Many states align their vaccine requirements with recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices . All states allow exemptions from school immunization requirements for children who are unable to receive vaccines for medical reasons. State laws vary regarding non-medical exemptions, for religious or personal reasons. Personal exemptions are also referred to as "philosophical exemptions" by some states.

Thirty states and Washington D.C. allow exemptions for people who have religious objections to immunizations. Thirteen 13 states allow exemptions for either religious or personal reasons. Two states, Louisiana and Minnesota, do not specify whether the non-medical exemption must be for religious or personal reasons. Five states do not allow any type of non-medical exemption.

The map below indicates each state's non-medical exemption policy. The map also links to the statutes for each state regarding school vaccine requirements and exemptions. Below the map is a table which provides more information about state exemption laws including exemption exceptions, requirements to obtain a non-medical exemption and information on states that have removed certain exemption policies.

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Map Source: Adapted from the LexisNexis StateNet Database and the Immunization Action Coalition.

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