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Essay on Relationship | Relationship Essay for Students and Children in English

February 7, 2024 by Prasanna

Essay on Relationship: Human is a social animal. To survive and stay happy, he needs to get connected with the people around him. To love and to be loved is the best feeling in the world. The feeling of this love and the connection between two people is what we call a relationship. Right from the family relationship, friendship, acquaintances, and romantic relationship, all are important at one or the other point of life. Having a relationship is thus one of the most important things in life.

You can read more  Essay Writing  about articles, events, people, sports, technology many more.

Long and Short Essays on Relationship for Students and Kids in English

In this article, we have provided a long essay and a short essay, along with ten lines on the topic, to help students write this essay in examinations. Given below is a long essay composed of about 500 words and a short composition comprising 100-150 words on the relationship in English.

Long Essay on Relationship 500 words in English

Relationship essay is usually given to classes 7, 8, 9, and 10.

Having a relationship is very important in everyone’s life. To stay happy, share your feelings, feel loved, have a connection, and know yourself in a better manner you need to have a relationship. As you grow old, the relationship transforms. Thus, we can define relationships as a bond between two people based on mutual likes, understanding, need, or love. Since birth, humans enter into a relationship. Broadly, there are four types of relationships:

Family Relationship: This is the most basic kind of relationship. It comes into existence based on the blood, kinship, marriage, or even adoption. It usually includes family members and relatives like parents, grandparents, children, siblings, cousins, uncle, aunts, and other such family members.

Friendship: As a child grows, he starts meeting people and attending school. It is the time when friendship comes to existence. Based on mutual likes and dislikes, the child befriends. This relationship occurs at every stage. As we grow old, we do make new friends. But friendship is a reciprocal relationship based on trust, care, and faith from both ends.  Friendship is that special God-given gift to humans with whom one can share multiple resonating feelings.

Romantic Relationship: Human has been always hungry for love. It is usually a relationship based on a strong feeling of connectivity based on personality or some physical attributes as well. This relationship usually is seen between husband-wife. It is one of the closest and strongest forms of relationship.

Acquaintances: As we move across daily, we encounter a lot of people that pass by. They are neither friends nor relatives. They can be neighbors, a travel companion, someone you meet at the park, or any other such person. But if such a relationship is treated with respect and care, it can grow to friendship in the future.

Love and trust are such emotions that are most profound in humans. People interact daily which acts as the base for the formation of relationships. For having a good and healthy relationship, the person needs to focus on the basic four attributes. They are communication, trust, respect, and love. For any relationship to flourish and sustain, one needs to have the four pillars incorporated in the deep roots of the relationship.

Every relationship starts when two people communicate. Having a healthy communication is important to share problems and find a solution for them. In the absence of communication, the relationship fails due to mistrust and doubts. Secondly, trust is the foundation of any relationship. Every relationship starting right from family or friends, if the trust is void, then the relationship is bound to end or fall.

Mutual trust and loyalty can be gained when you share your true feelings. The third pillar is respect. In personal as well as professional world respect is very important. If a person respects others, then he gains respect from others. Treating others will respect and care not only gains respect for themselves but also creates a base for a long-term relationship. The last is love. If there is love, there is care. Every person searches for love in their life. Having a relationship full of love makes a person happy and relationship strengthens.

Relationships are not built in a day. They need constant focus and attention. When people have successful and healthy relationships, they bound to stay happy and satisfied. Apart, the quality of life also enhances. Relationships may take time but investing in them can lead you to ‘Happily Ever After’.

Short Essay on Relationship 150 words in English

Relationship essay is usually provided to classes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

A relationship is when two people bond or connects based on the feeling of mutual trust, likes, dislikes, or love. It can be a relationship between family, friends, neighbors, passerby, or any other acquaintances. Having a good relationship is very important to sustain happily. Relationships give a person a chance to get connected with the people around and understand the true self.

Broadly, the relationships are of four types. The family relationship is the relationship based on blood or kinship. The friendship is based on mutual like and dislike. The romantic relationship is based on love and attraction. Lastly, there is an acquaintance which is a relationship with people you encounter but they are neither your friends nor family.

The healthy and successful relationship is based on four pillars. They are communication, trust, respect, and love. These are important to sustain and flourish in all kinds of relationships. These pillars help you share your thoughts and feelings. By doing so, you are in a position to strengthen your relationship. Relationships take time to create and when they grow strong they are forever and you can claim you are in a position of’ happily ever after’.

10 Lines on Relationship Essay in English

  • A relationship is when two or more people bond together based on mutual trust, love, care, and connection.
  • It is of four types, namely, family relationship, friendship, romantic relationship, and acquaintances.
  • Family relationship is based on blood or kinship. Friendship is based on mutual likes and dislikes. A romantic relationship is based on strong attraction and love. Acquaintances are ones you know or meet daily but are neither your friends nor family.
  • The pillars of any successful relationship are communication, trust, respect, and love.
  • To sustain any relationship, the four pillars need to be focused on.
  • Communication in a relationship is important to share your feelings and build trust as well.
  • Respect in any kind of relationship is a must. As said, if you give respect you get respect.
  • Relationships need focus and attention to survive and grow strong.
  • Good and healthy relationships take time to form. But once formed, they are to stay forever.
  • To have a happy, healthy, and long lives, people need to have happy and healthy relationships.

FAQ’s on Relationship Essay

Question 1. What is the relationship?

Answer: The feeling of connection and love based on mutual trust and care between two or more people is defined as a relationship.

Question 2. Briefly explain types of relationships.

Answer: There are four types of relationships, namely, family relationship, friendship, romantic relationships, and acquaintances. Family relationship is based on blood or kinship. Friendship is based on mutual likes and dislikes. A romantic relationship is based on strong attraction and love. Acquaintances are ones you know or meet daily but are neither your friends nor family

Question 3. What are the pillars of a healthy relationship?

Answer: There are four pillars of a healthy and successful relationship. They are communication, trust, respect, and love.

Question 4. Why people need healthy relationships?

Answer: Human is a part of society. To have a happy, healthy, and long lives, people need to have happy and healthy relationships.

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Why Relationships Matter

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment.

While need for human connection appears to be innate, the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. Some evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship starts to form in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they are theorized to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. The end of a relationship , however, is often a source of great psychological anguish.

To learn more, see Personality and Relationships .

what is an human relationships essay

Maintaining a strong relationship requires constant care and communication, and certain traits have been shown to be especially important for fostering healthy relationships. Each individual should, for starters, feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other. They must both also be committed to accommodating their differences, even as those change over time.

In the 21st century, good relationships are generally marked by emotional and physical fairness, particularly in the distribution of chores necessary to maintain a household. Partners in strong relationships also feel grateful for one another, openly provide and receive affection, and engage in honest discussions about sex .

In good relationships, partners try to afford their partner the benefit of the doubt, which creates a sense of being on the same team. This feeling, maintained over the long term, can help couples overcome the challenges they will inevitably face together.

To learn more, see Maintaining a Relationship and Love and Sex .

Chalermchai Chamnanyon/ Shutterstock

Finding a partner with whom to share a life is a wonderful but frequently difficult process. Whether it's conducted online or in-person, the search will likely push an individual into unfamiliar settings to encounter potential partners. To be successful, it is often necessary to go outside of one's comfort zone.

Determining whether a particular person is suitable as a potential mate, and whether a connection reflects temporary infatuation or true love, can challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in behavior.

One possibly counterintuitive indicator of a potential match is one's sense of self. Someone who would make a good partner may push an individual to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their own self-concept . Another early signifier may be stress : Repeatedly interacting with someone whose impression matters deeply to us can fuel anxiety . Other positive indicators include being highly motivated to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion , and energy into the budding relationship.

To learn more, see How People Find Love .

what is an human relationships essay

Every relationship represents a leap of faith for at least one partner, and even in the happiest couples, the very traits that once attracted them to each other can eventually become annoyances that drive them apart. Acquiring the skills to make a connection last is hard work, and threats may spring up without notice. In short-term, casual relationships, neither partner may see a truly viable long-term future together, but often only one takes action, in some cases ghosting the other, walking out of their lives with no communication, not even a text.

For some couples, infidelity is both the first and last straw, but a surprising number of relationships survive betrayal, some only to have their connection upended by everyday threats such as a loss of interest in physical intimacy, or a waning of positive feeling in the wake of constant criticism, contempt, or defensiveness. Even staying together for decades is no guarantee that a couple will remain connected: The divorce rate for couples over 50 has doubled since 1990.

Some people can walk away from years of marriage and instantly feel unburdened. For others, the end of a relationship that lasted just a few dates can trigger emotional trauma that lingers for years. However a breakup plays out, it can be a major stressor with an effect on ego and self-esteem that cannot be ignored.

To learn more, see Relationship Challenges and The End of Relationships .

what is an human relationships essay

A recent paper discusses attachment in romantic relationships, how stable it is, and how it can be changed.

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People lie, but how do you know that they are? You may not be able to trust everyone, but trust yourself. You are the best lie detector on the planet.

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We pay a price for having a guilty secret—feeling “internally conflicted, socially isolated, and fatigued,” according to one group of researchers.

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Instead of zapping friends, family, and co-workers with unwanted mind-reading, flexible awareness helps you connect and co-create with others.

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It isn’t always easy to tell whether someone wants to date you, love you, or go to bed with you. Research suggests behavioral cues to help tell the difference.

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The popular notion that you can never be worse off by having more is wrong.

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Moral injury and "Operator syndrome": healing the invisible wounds of America's elite warriors.

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Why are we so invested in the sex lives and relationships of celebrities like Taylor Swift? Using the innovative and timely lens of the caste system, I explain this obsession.

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Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

With rich essays about relationships plus prompts, this writing guide could help you contemplate relationships, including your own.

Healthy relationships come with the rewards of intimacy, love, and the support we need. Learning to preserve healthy relationships and throw out harmful ones is a critical skill to lead a successful life. That is exactly why Warren Buffet , one of the most successful investors, said the most important decision you will make is your choice of a significant partner. 

There are several types of relationships your essay could focus on in your next piece of writing. Take a leap and tackle intimate individual-level relationships or community or even global-level relationships. You might also be interested in our list of books to read after a breakup .

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5 Essay Examples

1. relationship weight gain is real — and can be a sign of happiness by angela haupt, 2. what does it mean to be ‘ready’ for a relationship by julie beck, 3. why adult children cut ties with their parents by sharon martin, 4. a relationship under extreme duress: u.s.-china relations at a crossroads by michael d. swaine, 5. how to build strong business relationships — remotely by jeanne m. brett and tyree mitchell, 1. strengthening communication in relationships, 2. helping children build healthy friendships, 3. how social media affects our relationships , 4. establishing relationships with influencers, 5. importance of police-community relationships, 6. dealing with challenging work relationships, 7. promoting cross-cultural relationships among schools, 8. why do long-term relationships fail.

“…[A]mong those who had been married for more than four years, happy couples were twice as likely to put on weight than couples who reported not being as content with their relationship.”

Gaining pounds when you’re in a relationship is real. This essay backs it up with research and even seeks to answer who puts on the most pounds in the relationship. For those hoping to transform their lifestyle, the essay offers practical tips couples can do together to lose pounds while protecting the relationship and preserving the joy that brought them together. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

“Readiness, then, is not a result of achieving certain life milestones, or perfect mental health. And checking off items on a checklist doesn’t guarantee a relationship when the checklist is complete.”

People have a variety of reasons for not being ready to commit to a relationship. They may be more committed to developing their careers or simply enjoy the solitude of singlehood. But this essay debunks the concept of readiness for building relationships. Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection .

“Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional. But this isn’t always the case—some adults cut ties with or distance themselves from their parents or other family members.”

No matter how painful it is, some adults decide to cut off family members to heal from a toxic or abusive childhood relationship or protect themselves if the abuse or toxicity continues. In exploring the primary causes of estrangement, the well-researched essay shows that estrangement may run deep with years of conflict and many attempts to recover the relationship, rather than merely being the whim of selfish adults.

“…Beijing and Washington are transitioning from a sometimes contentious yet mutually beneficial relationship to an increasingly antagonistic, mutually destructive set of interactions.”

The essay charts the 40-year relationship between China and the US and points out how both parties have mutually benefited from the bilateral relations. This starkly contrasts Washington’s accusation that the relationship has been a zero-sum game, one of the numerous oft-heard allegations in the Washington community. But with the looming increase in tension, competition, and potentially a devastating Cold War between the two, parties must work to find a middle ground.

“Although many managers have adapted to virtual meetings to replace face-to-face ones as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, developing new business relationships online presents a particular set of challenges.”

Authors interview 82 managers pre-pandemic and reconnect with some during the health crisis to find out how they have been building relationships with business partners through virtual meetings. Most admit the challenge of establishing trust and assessing partners’ competency, especially when billion-dollar deals are at stake. The authors offer four key pieces of advice to overcome these difficulties. You might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

8 Writing Prompts On Essays About Relationships

Essays About Relationships: Strengthening communication in relationships

We all know that communication is what strengthens relationships. But this is easier said than done when both sides want to talk and not listen. For this prompt, discuss the importance of open communication in relationships. Then, offer tips on how to improve communication in relationships and deal with communication gaps. One scenario you can look into is discussing problems in a relationship without getting into a heated debate.

In this essay, you can help parents become effective coaches for their children to make and keep friends. Warn them against being too authoritative in directing their children and instead allow the kids to be part of the ongoing conversation. Give your readers tips on how to build friendships such as promoting kindness, sharing, and understanding from a young age. You may also enjoy these essays about friendships .

When writing this essay, list the positive and negative effects of social media on relationships. A positive outcome of having social media is 24/7 access to our loved ones. One negative effect includes decreased time for more meaningful physical bonding. So, provide tips on how people in relationships can start putting down their mobile phones and talk heart-to-heart again. 

Influencer marketing has become one of the most popular and effective ways to spread your brand message on social media. First, explore why consumers trust influencers as credible product or service review sources. Then, try to answer some of the burning questions your readers may have, such as whether influencer marketing works for big and small businesses and how to choose the perfect influencer to endorse your brand.

In a working police-community relationship, police officials and community members work together to fight crime through information-sharing and other measures. Discuss this interesting topic for an exciting essay.

First, look into the level of working relationship between the police and your community through existing enforcement programs. Then, with the data gathered, analyze how they cooperate to improve your community. You can also build on the United States Department of Justice’s recommendations to lay down the best practices for strengthening police-community relationships. 

Essays About Relationships: Dealing with challenging work relationships

Amid competition, a workplace must still be conducive to cooperative relationships among employees to work on shared goals. Create an essay that enumerates the negative effects of work relationships on employee productivity and an office’s overall performance. Then cite tips on what managers and employees can do to maintain a professional and diplomatic atmosphere in the workplace. You can include points from the University of Queensland recommendations, including maintaining respect.

Students in a foreign country tend to feel distant from school life and society. Schools have a critical role in helping them feel at home and safe enough to share their ideas confidently. Set out the other benefits school environments can reap from fostering robust cross-cultural relationships and cite best practices. One example of a best practice is the buddy system, where international students are linked to local students, who could help expand their networks in the facility and even show them around the area to reveal its attributes.

When couples make it through the seven-year itch or the average time relationships last, everything down the road is said to be more manageable. However, some couples break up even after decades of being together. Explore the primary causes behind the failure of long-term relationships and consider the first signs that couples are growing distant from each other.

Look into today’s social sentiments and determine whether long-term relationships are declining. If they are, contemplate whether this should be a cause for concern or merely an acceptable change in culture. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers and our essay writing tips .

Library Home

Psychology of Human Relations

(2 reviews)

what is an human relationships essay

Stevy Scarbrough, Umpqua Community College

Copyright Year: 2023

Publisher: Open Oregon Educational Resources

Language: English

Formats Available

Conditions of use.

Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Learn more about reviews.

Reviewed by Hannah Adams Ingram, College Chaplain and Instructor of Religion, Franklin College on 2/6/24

The content is helpful and easy to understand. There are assignments and discussion guides in the appendices, but there is not an index or glossary. read more

Comprehensiveness rating: 4 see less

The content is helpful and easy to understand. There are assignments and discussion guides in the appendices, but there is not an index or glossary.

Content Accuracy rating: 5

From what I can tell, the content is straight-forward and accurate.

Relevance/Longevity rating: 5

There is a relevant chapter about culture and diversity.

Clarity rating: 5

I have decided to use this for a first-year seminar because the format is straight-forward and can be used to teach how to read and annotate a textbook.

Consistency rating: 5

Modularity rating: 5

This is a predictable format that seems appropriately chunked for assignments.

Organization/Structure/Flow rating: 5

This book has a logical flow, though for my own purposes, I will likely use isolated chapters out of order, and that seems like it will work just fine.

Interface rating: 5

The interface works.

Grammatical Errors rating: 5

I have not noticed errors.

Cultural Relevance rating: 5

Seems diverse in examples so far.

I will be trying this book out in a course.

Reviewed by Mary Ann Woodman, Adjunct Professor, Social Science, Rogue Community College on 10/3/23

This OER covers most areas included in a Psychology of Human Relations Course: self-concept, behavior, personality, emotions, perceptions, managing stress, conflict, workplace. It offers a thorough consideration of communication skills, a... read more

This OER covers most areas included in a Psychology of Human Relations Course: self-concept, behavior, personality, emotions, perceptions, managing stress, conflict, workplace. It offers a thorough consideration of communication skills, a noticeable emphasis on cultural awareness, and workplace relations. The textbook lacks content regarding friendship, dating, marriage, parental relationships, and global consciousness, which is frequently part of a human relationship course. The text does not include an index or glossary.

This resource contains accurate, up to date material with high accuracy of information regarding the subject matter introduced.

Relevance/Longevity rating: 4

The relevance of the material is current and ensures longevity of use. It would be advisable to have auxiliary materials such as audio-visuals, real life stories exemplifying the principles and concepts introduced, as well as some opportunities for creative and critical thinking skills.

The content is clear, lucid, and uses terminology very easily understood by the reader.

The format is very consistent and easy to follow. The use of terms, such as self-concept, personality, emotional intelligence, culture and so forth are uniform throughout the textbook. The structure of the assignment portion remains consistent as well: purpose, learning objectives, time needed and instructions.

The content material is arranged with subheadings for all ten chapters. It could easily be rearranged to align with the learning objectives of a course on the Psychology of Human Relations. There are no large blocks of text without subheadings.

The structure has a clear organization and flow to it and could be rearranged according to specific instructional methodology. For example, conflict resolution could be coupled with communication skills; and personality with self-concept. The assessment suggestions and discussion tasks in the appendix align very well with the content material, as do the links to additional resources.

Interface is in tack without distortions of images and charts making for ease in navigation without confusion or distraction. Audio-visuals have not been included in any of the chapters which would greatly enhance the use of this resource.

Correct, accurate grammar is presented throughout the entire text.

Cultural Relevance rating: 4

The material treats race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, cultural relativism, diversity and equity with great sensitivity. The book includes an entire chapter on cultural diversity, plus a section on culture and personality, intercultural communication, diversity in the workplace and raises awareness of the role of bias in relationships. Examples from other races and ethnicities would add greatly to the topics, but overall outstanding emphasis given to equity, diversity and inclusion.

Power point slide presentations and audio-visuals would greatly enrich the content and learning styles of students taking a college course in human relations. The references and links to other open publishing articles, as well as surveys that engage students in an activity related to the content are greatly appreciated. The essay based suggested assignments and discussion questions enhance the material. The author also includes rubrics for consideration. Overall, this OER furnishes a solid foundation for designing a curriculum for a Psychology of Human Relations College Course or training employees at a Business for success in the workplace.

Table of Contents

  • Chapter 1: Self-Concept
  • Chapter 2: Cultural Diversity
  • Chapter 3: Behavioral Change
  • Chapter 4: Personality Development
  • Chapter 5: Emotions
  • Chapter 6: Perception
  • Chapter 7: Interpersonal Communication
  • Chapter 8: Stress
  • Chapter 9: Conflict Resolution
  • Chapter 10: Workplace Success
  • Appendix A: Assignments
  • Appendix B: Discussions

Ancillary Material

About the book.

Understanding human relations is a valuable skill for anyone entering into the job market. The aim of this textbook is to aid readers in understanding their own behaviors and the behaviors of others with the intent of engaging in positive interactions in personal and professional spaces.

About the Contributors

Stevy Scarbrough , Umpqua Community College

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The Importance of Social Relationships to Physical and Mental Health

what is an human relationships essay

Many of us threw caution to the wind and filled our holidays with family and friends - enjoying good conversation, exchanging hugs, ideas, and kind words of love and support. An invigorating and much needed dose of human interaction after nearly a year of oppressive social restrictions caused by COVID-19. But, sadly, the COVID virus did not vanish with the dawning of a new year and we are advised to settle back into our “new normal” routine of mask wearing, social distancing, quarantining, etc.

It seems like a good time to talk about the importance of staying connected and nurturing our social relationships, even during the COVID pandemic …. Scratch that… ESPECIALLY during the COVID pandemic!

Why are social relationships important?

Human beings are inherently social, as are most animals. It is the way of nature. Heck, even ants exhibit social behaviors! Though, as humans, our social relationships are much more complex and fulfilling. They provide us with a sense of connection, purpose, support and, ultimately, overall better health and longevity.

Dozens of studies have shown that people who have fulfilling relationships with family, friends and community members are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.

Scientists have found that connecting with others helps relieve harmful levels of stress. As most of us are aware, chronic stress  can be detrimental to your mental and physical health, and contribute to many serious health problems. Some research even suggests that the act of caring for another person can release stress-reducing hormones for both the giver and receiver.

The alleviation of stress is not the only health benefit to come from having strong social connections.  We also learn healthy habits that help us to better care for ourselves, from others. Then of course, there is the obvious… when you are in a nurturing relationship, both parties tend to vest in each other’s health and well-being, as well as their own, because they want to stick around for each other.

Unfortunately, about a third of Americans lack these strong social relationships and, in turn, are putting their health at significant risk.

“Lacking social connection carries a risk that is comparable, and in many cases, exceeds that of other well-accepted risk factors, including smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day, obesity, physical inactivity, and air pollution.” - Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, professor of psychology at Brigham Young University

What are the health risks for people lacking strong social relationships?

It has been well established that prolonged social isolation, even in healthy, well-functioning individuals, will eventually result in psychological and physical disintegration, and even death. [1]

People without strong quality social relationships are at a much higher risk for: [2]

  • Depression and anxiety
  • Elevated levels of stress and inflammation, which can adversely affect coronary arteries, gut function, insulin regulation, and the immune system
  • A wide range of diseases, including cardiovascular disease and cancer [3]
  • Cognitive and functional decline, including dementia
  • Decreased resistance to infection
  • Delayed recovery from injury, surgery, illness, etc.
  • Premature death (50% increased risk)

“Being connected to others socially is widely considered a fundamental human need — crucial to both well-being and survival. Extreme examples show infants in custodial care who lack human contact fail to thrive and often die, and indeed, social isolation or solitary confinement has been used as a form of punishment,” said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, professor of psychology at Brigham Young University. “Yet an increasing portion of the U.S. population now experiences isolation regularly.”

Why are so many people experiencing loneliness and lack of social connection?

Social isolation, loneliness, and relationship distress are on the rise. Even before COVID, the United States was experiencing a serious epidemic - a loneliness epidemic .

According to a Loneliness Study by AARP , approximately 42.6 million adults over age 45 in the United States were estimated to be suffering from chronic loneliness. Even more alarming, is that loneliness statistics are eerily similar for teens and young adults, age 18-22.

Some of the suspected factors for the rise in loneliness and social disconnect include:

  • The number of adults living alone has nearly doubled over the last 50 years
  • The number of single occupancy households worldwide is now greater than ever in recorded history (Euromonitor International, 2014)
  • Reduction in marriage rates, smaller household sizes, and increased rates of childlessness (United States Census Bureau, 2011)
  • Decreased community involvement, which is reflected by falling rates of volunteerism (U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Statistics, 2016)
  • An increasing number of Americans reporting no religious affiliation (Pew Research Center, 2015)
  • Decreased need for face-to-face interactions due to technology and social media

How can I build and nurture social relationships?

Now that you aware of the importance of social relationships to your physical and mental health, you may be wondering how you can build a strong social network. Here are some tips:

Start with existing relationships. Nurture relationships you already have by reaching out. It’s as easy as picking up the phone or sending a text, email or card.

Turn your work colleagues into friends. If you have someone at work that you feel you might have a connection with, then don’t be afraid to explore that relationship by engaging in conversation. You already have work in common, so see what else you might have in common.

Look for opportunities to be social. Granted COVID has put a damper on some social opportunities, but there are still opportunities to safely interact with new people, you just have to look for them. If you don’t feel comfortable being around a large group, then take part in activities involving smaller groups.

Join a group. Think of an activity you enjoy and see if there is a local group or club that meets to engage in that activity. If you aren’t ready to engage face to face with strangers, consider joining an online group or community that shares your interests.

Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to meet people. Plus, volunteering has been proven to elevate mood and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Though you may not be able to volunteer at a senior care center or hospital under the current COVID restrictions, you may still be able to volunteer at your local food bank, animal shelter, highway or park clean-up, etc.

Take a class. If you like to learn new things, explore classes being given at your local library, community center, or college outreach. You could even take a yoga class or some other type of exercise class. Taking a class gives you the opportunity to meet other people interested in self-improvement.

Get a pen pal. If you enjoy writing, you can correspond and build rewarding relationships through a pen pal program, such as Soldiers’ Angels , Paper Bridges , and more .

Practice effective communication. Make the most of your social opportunities by practicing effective communication skills. Be approachable – smile, make eye contact and maintain open body language. Draw people into conversation, ask open ended questions, actively listen, and ask follow-up questions. Be empathetic and supportive. Share similar interests, stories, and advice. 

If you have difficulties interacting with others or suffer from a mental health disorder that causes you to self-isolate, please reach out to a mental health professional for help.

Related Articles

Cultivating Mental Health: The Importance of Social Relationships

[1] Debra Umberson  and  Jennifer Karas Montez , 2011, Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint for Health Policy, National Center for Biotechnology Information. Jan. 11, 2021. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150158/

[2] Harvard Women's Health Watch, 2019, The health benefits of strong relationships, Harvard Health Publishing/Harvard Medical School. Jan. 11, 2021. https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/the-health-benefits-of-strong-relationships

[3] James House, Karl Landis, Debra Umberson, 1988, Social Relationships and Health, The University of Utah. Jan. 11, 2021. http://www.math.utah.edu/~lzhang/teaching/1070spring2012/Daily%20Updates/examples/feb1/Social%20Relationships%20and%20Health.pdf

18 Jan 2021

  • Love & Relationships

The Science Behind Happy Relationships

W hen it comes to relationships , most of us are winging it. We’re exhilarated by the early stages of love , but as we move onto the general grind of everyday life, personal baggage starts to creep in and we can find ourselves floundering in the face of hurt feelings, emotional withdrawal, escalating conflict, insufficient coping techniques and just plain boredom. There’s no denying it: making and keeping happy and healthy relationships is hard.

But a growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the habits of the healthiest, happiest couples — and how to make any struggling relationship better. As we’ve learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to fundamental lessons that are simultaneously simple, obvious and difficult to master: empathy, positivity and a strong emotional connection drive the happiest and healthiest relationships.

Maintaining a strong emotional connection

“The most important thing we’ve learned, the thing that totally stands out in all of the developmental psychology, social psychology and our lab’s work in the last 35 years is that the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love again and again, is emotional responsiveness,” says Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa and the author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love .

That responsiveness, in a nutshell, is all about sending a cue and having the other person respond to it. “The $99 million question in love is, ‘Are you there for me?’” says Johnson. “It’s not just, ‘Are you my friend and will you help me with the chores?’ It’s about emotional synchronicity and being tuned in.”

“Every couple has differences,” continues Johnson. “What makes couples unhappy is when they have an emotional disconnection and they can’t get a feeling of secure base or safe haven with this person.” She notes that criticism and rejection — often met with defensiveness and withdrawal — are exceedingly distressing, and something that our brain interprets as a danger cue.

To foster emotional responsiveness between partners, Johnson pioneered Emotionally Focused Therapy , in which couples learn to bond through having conversations that express needs and avoid criticism. “Couples have to learn how to talk about feelings in ways that brings the other person closer,” says Johnson.

Keeping things positive

According to Carrie Cole, director of research for the Gottman Institute , an organization dedicated to the research of marriage, emotional disengagement can easily happen in any relationship when couples are not doing things that create positivity. “When that happens, people feel like they’re just moving further and further apart until they don’t even know each other anymore,” says Cole. That focus on positivity is why the Gottman Institute has embraced the motto “small things often.” The Gottman Lab has been studying relationship satisfaction since the 1970s, and that research drives the Institute’s psychologists to encourage couples to engage in small, routine points of contact that demonstrate appreciation.

One easy place to start is to find ways to compliment your partner every day, says Cole — whether it’s expressing your appreciation for something they’ve done or telling them, specifically, what you love about them. This exercise can accomplish two beneficial things: First, it validates your partner and helps them feel good about themselves. And second, it helps to remind you why you chose that person in the first place.

Listen to the brain, not just your heart

When it comes to the brain and love, biological anthropologist and Kinsey Institute senior fellow Helen Fisher has found — after putting people into a brain scanner — that there are three essential neuro-chemical components found in people who report high relationship satisfaction: practicing empathy, controlling one’s feelings and stress and maintaining positive views about your partner.

In happy relationships, partners try to empathize with each other and understand each other’s perspectives instead of constantly trying to be right. Controlling your stress and emotions boils down to a simple concept: “Keep your mouth shut and don’t act out,” says Fisher. If you can’t help yourself from getting mad, take a break by heading out to the gym, reading a book, playing with the dog or calling a friend — anything to get off a destructive path. Keeping positive views of your partner, which Fisher calls “positive illusions,” are all about reducing the amount of time you spend dwelling on negative aspects of your relationship. “No partner is perfect, and the brain is well built to remember the nasty things that were said,” says Fisher. “But if you can overlook those things and just focus on what’s important, it’s good for the body, good for the mind and good for the relationship.”

Happier relationships, happier life

Ultimately, the quality of a person’s relationships dictates the quality of their life. “Good relationships aren’t just happier and nicer,” says Johnson. “When we know how to heal [relationships] and keep them strong, they make us resilient. All these clichés about how love makes us stronger aren’t just clichés; it’s physiology. Connection with people who love and value us is our only safety net in life.”

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Interpersonal Relationships Essay

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Introduction

Barriers to effective communication, principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communication, improving communication competencies.

Interpersonal relationships are normally evidenced between two or more individuals and may be based on (among other factors) love and solidarity (Berscheid, 1983, p. 1). These bases of interpersonal relationships normally vary but basically, they are centered on social, cultural, family or kinship relationships (in addition to other forms of social relations). This fact is affirmed by Jeannette (2010) who states that:

“Interpersonal communication is derived from the close relationships we have in our life of our choosing. Yet, we have interface with people on many levels in our life, ranging from personal to professional. Interpersonal relationships constantly change and shift and can derive from formal settings. Relationships can vary from friendships, family members, lovers, acquaintances, professionals and even adversaries. Life welcomes and encompasses most relationships in each of these categories” (p. 12).

It is important to note that interpersonal relationships command some level of interdependence but there are often incidences where people in interpersonal relationships influence each other in thought, actions, activities and feelings (Fincham, 2010, p. 4).

The level of interdependence among partners in interpersonal relationships allows for the influx of opinions, thoughts and feelings but the success and longevity of interpersonal relationships basically thrives on communication as a basic component, determining the thriving of interpersonal relationships. Dr. Ramesh Rao, a sociology researcher, explains that “We thrive when we communicate well, and we starve ourselves of companionship, camaraderie and community when we fail to communicate effectively” (Rao, 2010, p. 1).

When communication lacks, people tend to live in worlds completely and needlessly alienated from each other, and in extreme cases, miscommunication may lead to excessive boredom and even the eventual breakup of two individuals. Those who decide to live with communication problems are normally subjected to a lot of despair, agony and frustration. However, the positive thing regarding the controversy surrounding miscommunication in interpersonal relationships is that it need not be that way.

In other words, there are a number of ways and strategies through which if properly applied can avoid instances of miscommunication. From this basis of understanding, this study will explore the barriers to effective communication as the background research to understanding how to avoid miscommunication in interpersonal relationships. Secondly this study will explain the principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications, which consequently causes miscommunication in interpersonal relationships.

Lastly this study will identify how people in interpersonal relationships can assess their personal communication strategies to improve their communication competencies. Comprehensively, these elements when applied sequentially will eventually lead to the avoidance of miscommunication within interpersonal relationships.

Communication essentially defines the basic social fabric of any society and it is an effective tool that has been used in upholding social cohesion for centuries (Mystic Madness, 2011, p. 1). However, there are barriers to communication that prevent the conveyance of thoughts or ideas from one individual to another.

Consequently, this causes ambiguous communication between individuals because if there are barriers to effective communication, the messages passed across cannot be appropriately received. If the sender or receiver finds himself or herself in such a situation; it means that there are surmountable barriers to communication.

The barriers to effective communication therefore become a hurdle for many individuals to express their thoughts and feelings, and in extreme situations; this scenario has been seen to limit professional and social progression. In fact, Mystic Madness (2011) affirms that “According to various psychologists, approximately 50 percent of message looses its meaning while being conveyed from the sender to the receiver” (p. 3).

There are therefore a number of stages where communication between two or more individuals loses its meaning and they are summarized in the following paragraphs:

Physical barriers have been identified as the main problem why people across the globe have found it difficult to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships (Jain, 2011).

This was the problem I experienced a year ago in my workplace where the company had a large working area and existing employees were physically estranged from each other. Also, each office had its own doors where each worker operated under closed doors and the general employee population was divided on the basis of ranks (where high-ranking employees operated in their own environment while low-ranking employees also operated in their own environment).

The organizational environment was therefore not conducive for effective interpersonal communication and it was further aggravated by the fact that there was a lot of noise from cars on the background. This type of environment significantly strained the development of interpersonal relationships within my workplace.

Mystic Madness (2011) categories physical barriers to communication in four categories; the first is environmental barrier where the physical environment becomes non-facilitative to the development of a good interactive atmosphere (probably because of excessive humidity, excessive lighting, high or low temperatures, or even poor ventilation and the likes).

The second category of communication barrier is the challenging stimulus where if there is a disturbing stimulus such as noise in the background or a wide distance between a sender and receiver of information, miscommunication may eventually occur because it would be quite difficult for both parties to interpret what each other is saying.

Thirdly, Mystic Madness (2011) identifies subjective strain as another barrier to communication where miscommunication may occur if one of the parties is in bad health, is of poor mental state, lacks adequate sleep (and the likes). Miscommunication is bound to occur because effective communication occurs only if there is high concentration about the message conveyance process among the two parties involved.

Lastly, Mystic Madness (2011) identifies media ignorance as the last category to physical barriers to communication because of the fact that some communicators are not versant with the best mode of media to convey their messages. For instance, in my organization, the senior managerial team used to explain the company’s progress to workers using maps and charts. This mode did not seem effective for the workers.

Linguistic barriers are also identified as a major barrier to communication because in scenarios where it is present, language becomes excessively vague and the words mentioned by one party (for example) are rather symbolic and may convey a number of meanings to the receiver (if he or she understands it at all).

The miscommunication evidenced here basically occurs where the sender and receiver variably interpret different language symbols. In fact, it has been affirmed in many research studies that communicating to someone in his or her own language is an effective communication tool as opposed to someone communicating using an alien language (Mystic Madness, 2011).

Cultural barriers have also been identified to be a strong barrier to communication, especially where two or more people in an interpersonal relationship are from different religions, cultures or places. However, cultural barriers does not only end in form of cultural, religious or place variations; it also extends to age, social position, mental behaviors, social status and other socioeconomic parameters.

If communication occurs within the confines of a given culture, there is a very minimal probability that misinterpretation will occur, but when communication occurs between two or more cultures, there is a high probability that misinterpretation will occur.

Lastly, emotional barriers have been advanced as a critical barrier to effective communication because people who are emotionally distant are bound to differ from each other in situations and affairs (Mystic Madness, 2011). There are often many types of emotions that present themselves in form of anger, fear and hostility and all result in a number of reactions encompassing sudden reactions, unfair assumptions, terror, overconfidence and defense (Jeannette, 2010). These factors comprehensively define the major barriers to communication.

Misconceptions about interpersonal relationships often arise out of the fact that people are different and it is therefore very easy for someone to misunderstand the other. The biggest misconception among many people regarding interpersonal communication is that it is an innate trait that often does not need to be perfected (HR Council for the Nonprofit Sector, 2011).

It is also widely misconceived that interpersonal communication applies to all individuals and can be applied in virtually all social contexts (HR Council for the Nonprofit Sector, 2011). This assumption is wrong because interpersonal communication has its own shade of grey areas where different people are in different relationships, and therefore, not all relationships are the same.

Moreover, each person is different from each other and therefore the characteristics of one person in a relationship may sometimes disparage the personality of the other or in another way, compliment it. It is therefore essential that the right attitude is applied to different situations because relationships are different and so are people.

There is also a common misunderstanding about interpersonal communication where one person thinks that if he or she communicates, the other person will automatically understand them. This is not necessarily the case considering there are usually many factors that can cause wrongful misinterpretation of information and therefore it is important to carry out a follow-up conversation to determine whether the previously conveyed information was correctly understood.

Many people also carry on the misconception that the more the quantity of information a person conveys; the more he or she will be understood (HR Council for the Nonprofit Sector, 2011). This is normally not the case because if a person is misunderstood, talking more would not essentially be the correct approach to take because this would only mean that there will be more misunderstandings and misinterpretations of the information being conveyed.

While a person may think that he or she is clarifying the information conveyed, he or she may only be exacerbating the situation. In such situations, one would be tactful to know when to tone down, keep quiet and explain further.

The reason why the above misconceptions about interpersonal communication are evidenced is because many people don’t understand the principles to effective communication. It is therefore important for people to understand relevant principles surrounding effective communication so that they can be able to communicate effectively in the first place. The first principle in effective communication is understanding oneself.

Even though interpersonal communication occurs between two people, it is normally recommended that people who want to effectively communicate with each other need to understand themselves first (their goals, personalities and the likes). Mares (2010) affirms that “Self-awareness helps you identify the actions required to behave competently in different situations. The more self-aware you are, the more able you are to manage your own behavior and your ability to adapt your behavior to changing circumstances” (p. 12).

Another principle of communication in interpersonal relationships is to communicate effectively. Mares (2010) explains that in this type of situation, the sender or receiver should describe various behaviors without being judgmental or giving evaluative statements which may change the course of the communication process. He also explains that people should maintain congruence between verbal and nonverbal messages in addition to precisely describing ones feelings.

Lastly, listening and responding is also another important communication principle in interpersonal relationships where people will be able to understand one another’s feelings and thoughts more effectively (Mares, 2010). In fact, it has been affirmed that taking into consideration the other person’s feelings is an effective communication strategy. Conversely, this can be linked to talking from the “shoes” of the other person (Mares, 2010).

Using the obliging style has been advocated as one of the most basic ways through which people can effectively develop their communication competencies (Jeannette, 2010). This style has been pit against the avoidance strategy where people avoid conflict in relationships by ignoring miscommunication altogether (Jeannette, 2010).

The obliging style empowers people to be more empathic and critical listeners to what the other party in the relationship says. This style also proposes that if a person feels like expressing his or her opinion, he or she should do so gently, without being assertive. Comprehensively, the obliging strategy has been evidenced to provide the bedrock to the development of interpersonal relationships because it essentially lays the groundwork through which two people relate (Jeannette, 2010).

The other competence element identified by many social researchers, with regards to improving interpersonal competence, is basically related to the principles of effective communication which is putting oneself in the other’s shoes. This is congruent to understanding the values of the other person, their beliefs and points of view. Jeannette (2010) explains that:

“It can be challenging to assess each individual and how to correctly approach communication when there are so many factors involved. With the proper effort and evaluation, one can identify personality traits of an individual and build positive communication around those aspects. This not only develops proper interpersonal relationships, but also broadens the skills necessary to effectively communicate and represent oneself in a positive manner” (p. 29).

Understanding these communicative variables is essential to developing genuine empathy with another party in a relationship, but more importantly, understanding them enables the other party to better empathize with the other.

Lastly, inquiry is another competence element that if well inculcated among individuals, it can expressly show genuine concern about the other person’s welfare. Genuine concern is a good attribute in avoiding miscommunication in interpersonal relationships and this is the reason why many researchers advocate that people should be more inquisitive of each other at all times (Jeannette, 2010).

This study points out that the avoidance of miscommunication within interpersonal relationships is a simple process that can be avoided if people understand the barriers to communication, develop an understanding of the principles and misconceptions about personal relationships and eventually horn specific competencies needed in developing personal relationships. It is only through understanding communication problems in interpersonal relationships that people can be able to avoid miscommunication altogether.

Berscheid, E. (1983). The Emerging Science of Relationships: Close Relationships. (pp. 1–19). New York: W.H. Freeman and Company.

Fincham, F. (2010). Of memes and marriage: Toward a positive relationship science. Journal of Family Theory & Review , 2, 4–24.

HR Council for the Nonprofit Sector. (2011). Workplaces that Work . Web.

Jain, R. (2011). The Barriers to Effective Communication . Web.

Jeannette, V. (2010). Interpersonal Relationships and Communication . Web.

Mares, T. (2010). Avoiding Miscommunication: This Darned Elusive Happiness. Web.

Mystic Madness. (2011). 4 Main Barriers to Effective Communication . Web.

Rao, R. (2010). Communication Studies . Web.

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IvyPanda. (2019, February 20). Interpersonal Relationships. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-relationships/

"Interpersonal Relationships." IvyPanda , 20 Feb. 2019, ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-relationships/.

IvyPanda . (2019) 'Interpersonal Relationships'. 20 February.

IvyPanda . 2019. "Interpersonal Relationships." February 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-relationships/.

1. IvyPanda . "Interpersonal Relationships." February 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-relationships/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Interpersonal Relationships." February 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-relationships/.

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Tips to Maintain an Interpersonal Relationship

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  • Maintain Boundaries
  • Show Respect
  • Be Empathetic

Why Interpersonal Relationships Matter

When an interpersonal relationship ends, are you in a healthy relationship take the quiz.

Human beings are social by nature. The connections we build with others are critical to social, emotional, and physical health. Knowing how to maintain interpersonal relationships can help you build a support system that provides strength as you cope with life’s challenges.

An interpersonal relationship is a social connection or affiliation between two or more people. Different types of interpersonal relationships can include your connections with your partner, loved ones, close friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and many others who make up the social connections in your life.

This article discusses things you can do to maintain strong interpersonal relationships with loved ones, friends, colleagues, and others in your life. It also covers why these relationships are so important and what you can do when they do end.

Interpersonal Relationships Need Openness

In order to form and maintain strong bonds with others, there needs to be a mutual give-and-take when it comes to sharing information with one another. People need to open up to you, but you also have to be willing to let others in and share details about your experiences, emotions, and opinions.

After all, it is through this mutual sharing that you get to know each other. This process, known as self-disclosure , forges bonds and deepens intimacy between people.

Consider how you might feel if someone you care about did not share important information with you about things that are happening in their life. You might be left feeling that they don’t trust you or that they don’t consider you a close friend. 

Letting others in isn’t always easy. By sharing, you are showing them that you trust and care for them—and giving them the opportunity to show the same care in return.

In order to maintain interpersonal relationships, work on learning to be open with the people in your life. Allow yourself to be vulnerable . Look for opportunities where you can let people get to know the “real” you.

Interpersonal Relationships Need Boundaries

Being open doesn’t mean you should give others unlimited access to your thoughts, feelings, or time. Healthy boundaries are also a vital foundation of any strong relationship. It is important not only to establish these boundaries but to enforce them as well.

A boundary can be defined as what you are willing to accept in a relationship. These boundaries represent your values, expectations, and limitations.

A boundary in your interpersonal relationships might look like having limits on when you spend time together or expectations for when you will be there for one another. It can also involve how much you are willing to share about yourself emotionally, physically, and even digitally.

These boundaries are important in your relationships with other people, but they’re also important for your relationship with yourself.

It’s important that others respect your boundaries, but it is just as important for you to respect theirs. Respecting these boundaries shows that you care about each other’s values, goals, emotions, and needs.

Interpersonal Relationships Require Listening

Good communication is essential in any relationship, but it’s important to remember that communicating well involves being able to listen.

Active listening involves being engaged with what your conversation partner is saying. You're not just being quiet and letting them say their piece—you’re reflecting on their words, paraphrasing what they have said to show you are listening, and asking questions you may have. 

Listening shows that you care. It shows that you are involved in the other person’s life and interested in what they have to say.

Listening is a great way to learn more about the other person. It also allows you to offer support and emotional validation , which can go a long way toward making the other person value you as a friend and confidant.

Tips for Active Listening

  • Don’t interrupt
  • Avoid voicing opinions or judgments
  • Maintain good eye contact
  • Ask open-ended questions
  • Paraphrase what the other person has said

Interpersonal Relationships Require Respect

To maintain interpersonal relationships, you should also show respect for others. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say or do what they want to do. However, It does mean you should show that you value their feelings, opinions, time, and interests.

When showing respect in interpersonal relationships, you should:

  • Avoid disparaging the things they enjoy
  • Keep the commitments you’ve made to them
  • Show up on time
  • Be mindful of their feelings
  • Listen to them, even when you disagree

Interpersonal Relationships Need Empathy

Empathy involves being able to put yourself in another person’s shoes and feel what they feel. It means you see things from their perspective and feel their pain as if it was your own.

Interpersonal relationships benefit from empathy in many ways. When you show that you feel what someone else is feeling, it helps the other person gain a sense of belonging. It helps others feel understood, and that understanding serves as a foundation for trust and closeness in a relationship.

Research also suggests that in addition to strengthening relationships, empathy also fosters kindness, cooperation, and helping behaviors and improves mental health.

  • Earn and be worthy of trust
  • Make an effort to show you care
  • Improve your listening skills
  • Share things about yourself
  • Accept feedback
  • Validate their feelings

Why are interpersonal relationships so important? Research has found that interpersonal relationships can have a number of important benefits for physical and psychological health. Some of these include:

  • Combating loneliness
  • Increasing resilience to stress
  • Decreasing the risk of depression and suicide
  • Lowering the risk of cardiovascular disease
  • Improving longevity

When you have strong interpersonal relationships, you may feel more motivated to engage in behaviors that are good for your health. Research has found that people who participate more in social relationships are also more likely to eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and avoid smoking.

Not all relationships are healthy, and sometimes you might need to let go of a toxic or painful relationship. In addition, some relationships are limited in duration simply by the nature of the connection—your relationship with a coworker, healthcare professional, or teacher, for example, may end based on various transitions in your life.

Other relationships may end for various reasons, including a breakup, divorce, a move, or death. Remember that it is normal to feel a range of emotions when a relationship ends, including sadness, anger, or grief.

If you are struggling after the loss of an interpersonal relationship, consider talking to your healthcare provider or therapist.

Keep in Mind

Being able to maintain strong interpersonal relationships plays a critical role in both your physical and emotional well-being. Think about the qualities that you value the most in your relationships— such as trust, respect, friendship, kindness, and honestly—and work on showing others those same virtues.

While it can be easy to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life, make it a habit to spend time cultivating and protecting your relationships with the people who matter the most. A little time, attention, and effort can ensure that you are giving people the support they need and that you get the same support in return.

If you've got questions about your relationship, our fast and free quiz can help you better understand if your partnership is rock solid or if it could use some work.

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Kreiner H, Levi-Belz Y. Self-disclosure here and now: combining retrospective perceived assessment with dynamic behavioral measures . Front Psychol . 2019;10:558. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00558

Love Is Respect. What are my boundaries ?

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American Psychological Association. Manage stress: strengthen your support network . Updated October 2019.

Grav S, Hellzèn O, Romild U, Stordal E. Association between social support and depression in the general population: The HUNT study, a cross-sectional survey . J Clin Nurs . 2012;21(1-2):111-20. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2702.2011.03868.x

Crookes DM, Shelton RC, Tehranifar P, et al. Social networks and social support for healthy eating among Latina breast cancer survivors: Implications for social and behavioral interventions . J Cancer Surviv . 2016;10(2):291–301. doi:10.1007/s11764-015-0475-6

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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Essay on Healthy Relationships

Students are often asked to write an essay on Healthy Relationships in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

What is a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is like a good friendship. It is when two people spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. They respect each other, listen to each other, and understand each other’s needs. They support each other in good and bad times. A healthy relationship is full of love, trust, and happiness.

Importance of Communication

Talking and listening are important in a healthy relationship. It helps people understand each other better. They can share their feelings, thoughts, and ideas. Good communication also helps to solve problems and avoid misunderstandings.

Trust and Honesty

Trust and honesty are key in a healthy relationship. Trust means believing in the other person. Honesty means telling the truth. Both help to build a strong and loving relationship. They make people feel safe and comfortable with each other.

Respect and Boundaries

Respect is treating others the way you want to be treated. It is about valuing the other person’s feelings, thoughts, and choices. Boundaries are also important. They are rules that help people feel safe and comfortable. They protect people’s personal space and freedom.

Dealing with Conflicts

250 words essay on healthy relationships.

A healthy relationship is a bond between two or more people. It is filled with respect, trust, honesty, and good communication. In such relationships, people feel safe and happy. They enjoy spending time together and support each other in good and bad times.

Key Features

There are some important features of a healthy relationship. These include open communication, respect, trust, and equality. Open communication means that people talk freely about their feelings. Respect means that they value each other’s opinions and feelings. Trust means that they believe in each other. Equality means that they treat each other as equals.

Why are Healthy Relationships Important?

Healthy relationships are important for our well-being. They make us feel happy and secure. They also help us grow as individuals. In a healthy relationship, we learn to trust and respect others. We also learn to communicate our feelings in a better way.

How to Build Healthy Relationships?

Building a healthy relationship takes effort. It starts with respect and trust. We should respect each other’s feelings and trust each other. We should also communicate openly. If there is a problem, we should talk about it and find a solution together. We should also spend quality time together. This helps to strengthen the bond.

In conclusion, a healthy relationship is a beautiful bond. It is filled with respect, trust, and good communication. It makes us feel happy and secure. It helps us grow as individuals. To build a healthy relationship, we should respect, trust, and communicate openly with each other.

500 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

Signs of a healthy relationship.

There are many signs of a healthy relationship. One of the most important is respect. This means that each person values the other and understands and respects their rights.

Another sign is trust. Trust is like a strong rope that holds the relationship together. If there is trust, each person feels secure and safe.

Importance of a Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships are very important for our happiness and well-being. They give us a sense of belonging and help us feel loved and valued. They also provide support when we face challenges or problems.

Moreover, healthy relationships teach us important life skills. They help us learn how to respect others, how to trust, and how to communicate effectively. These skills are very helpful in all areas of our life.

Building a Healthy Relationship

The first step is to build respect. This can be done by treating the other person with kindness, listening to them, and valuing their opinions.

The second step is to build trust. This can be done by being honest, reliable, and keeping promises.

The third step is to build good communication. This can be done by talking openly about feelings and thoughts, listening carefully, and trying to understand the other person’s point of view.

In conclusion, a healthy relationship is a valuable part of our lives. It is built on respect, trust, and good communication. It brings us joy and helps us grow as individuals. Building a healthy relationship takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. Remember, everyone deserves to be in a healthy and happy relationship.

This essay is a simple guide to understanding the concept of healthy relationships. It is important to remember that each relationship is unique and may require different approaches. But the basic principles of respect, trust, and communication always remain the same.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

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Martin Webber's blog

Musings of a social work academic

The importance of human relationships

what is an human relationships essay

World Social Work Day 2019

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Relationships are crucial to our survival as a human race. They facilitate our reproduction, provide love and a nurturing environment for our development, enhance our life opportunities and extend our survival. However, we don’t all have positive human relationships and this is where social workers can help.

Social workers often intervene when relationships break down or are damaging people. They undertake a variety of roles such as helping to safeguard children witnessing intimate partner violence; finding carers for young refugees without parents; protecting young people being exploited for sex or drug trafficking; or supporting isolated adults to develop new social relationships, for example.

what is an human relationships essay

World Social Work Day 2019 highlights the importance of human relationships. This message is important at a time when hatred appears rife and people are divided because of ideology, bigotry and racism. Today, as a social worker, I’d like to celebrate the life-affirming importance of human relationships and encourage the profession to consider how it can do more to promote positive connections between people, friends or even romantic partners.

See relationships

In my role as a social work educator and researcher I see the importance of human relationships every day.

I see students supporting each other in the classroom, sharing their commitment for social change.

I see these students on placement, connecting with and learning from experienced practitioners.

I observe students in their practice, seeing how they are supporting isolated people to connect with others, often when the odds are stacked against them.

I see the team of social work educators I lead coming together to share good practice and address issues of concern.

I see the researchers I supervise connecting with research participants to collect data to help us practice more effectively.

Today we should celebrate the everyday social connections we see around us which help to build our human relationships and make life fulfilling.

Support relationship building

Most of my work at present is concerned with finding better ways to support isolated people with mental health problems to build new relationships. This is what Connecting People is all about .

I see many examples of good practice. For example, a practitioner who has integrated network mapping into routine assessments; a team which has mapped local community networks and resources and connects with them; a project which brings people together to discover more about their local neighbourhood

But this work is often challenging. Bureaucracy, high caseloads and key performance indicators which favour processes rather than outcomes often get in the way of connecting people.

Today is a reminder that we should not give up. Human relationships are important, particularly where they are problematic or absent. Let’s continue to support social workers to connect people with others and build positive human relationships where they are needed the most.

what is an human relationships essay

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Beyond Intractability

Fundamentals / Knowledgebase Masthead

The Hyper-Polarization Challenge to the Conflict Resolution Field We invite you to participate in an online exploration of what those with conflict and peacebuilding expertise can do to help defend liberal democracies and encourage them live up to their ideals.

Follow BI and the Hyper-Polarization Discussion on BI's New Substack Newsletter .

Hyper-Polarization, COVID, Racism, and the Constructive Conflict Initiative Read about (and contribute to) the  Constructive Conflict Initiative  and its associated Blog —our effort to assemble what we collectively know about how to move beyond our hyperpolarized politics and start solving society's problems. 

By John Paul Lederach

Originally Published October 2003; "Current Implications" section added April 2017 by Heidi Burgess.  

This is an abridged version of John Paul Lederach's longer , published by Good Books. Michelle Maiese selected the excerpts to create this version, with the permission of John Paul Lederach and the publisher.

Current Implications

This essay was written 14 years ago, but the concepts presented are just as relevant today as they were then and are particularly important as we try to figure out what to do with all the very intractable conflicts that are facing us. Resolution -- of the political conflicts in the US and Europe, of the violent identity conflicts in the Middle East and Africa, of the clashes over sovereignty and borders in Asia -- seems pretty much impossible. More...

Introduction[1]


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This Seminar is part of the...


I have been using the phrase "conflict transformation" since the late 1980s. I remember that timeframe because it came on the heels of intensive experience in Central America. When I arrived there my teaching vocabulary was filled with the terminology of conflict resolution and management. But I soon found that many of my Latin colleagues had questions, concerns, even suspicions about what such concepts meant.

Their worry was that quick solutions to deep social-political problems would not change things in any significant way. "Conflicts happen for a reason," they would say. "Is this resolution idea just another way to cover up the changes that are really needed?" Their concerns were consistent with my own experience.

The ideas that inform much of my work arise out of the Anabaptist-Mennonite religious framework. This framework emphasizes peace as embedded in justice, the building of right relationships and social structures through a radical respect for human rights , and nonviolence as way of life. In the course of my work in finding constructive responses to violent conflict, I became increasingly convinced that much of what I was doing was seeking constructive change. I recall that by the late 1980s I would talk about this work as a process of transformation .

However, this notion of transformation raised new questions. Despite its problems, the term "resolution" was more well-known and widely accepted in mainstream academic and political circles. "Transformation," on the other hand, was regarded by many as too value-laden, too idealistic, or too "new age." But for me, the term was accurate, scientifically sound, and clear in vision.


Also see the video:
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Conflict transformation is accurate because the core of my work is indeed about engaging myself in constructive change initiatives that include and go beyond the resolution of particular problems. It is scientifically sound because the writing and research about conflict converge in two common ideas: conflict is normal in human relationships and conflict is a motor of change. And transformation is clear in vision because it brings into focus the horizon toward which we journey, namely the building of healthy relationships and communities, both locally and globally. This process requires significant changes in our current ways of relating.

In this essay, I will engage a creative tension between the metaphors of resolution and transformation in order to sharpen understanding. However, this is not done to minimize or degrade the term "resolution" or the many individuals who creatively prefer it as the best prism for understanding their work. My purpose is to add a voice to the ongoing discussion and search for greater understanding and clarity in human relationships.

But the question remains, what is this transformation stuff? This essay is an attempt to share my understanding of conflict transformation as an orientation, an approach and a framework. It describes transformation as a lens and a strategy for approaching conflict.


Additional insights into are offered by several Beyond Intractability project participants.

The Lenses of Conflict Transformation

In common everyday settings we experience social conflict as a time when a disruption occurs in the "natural" discourse of our relationships. As conflict emerges , we stop and take notice that something is not right. The relationship in which the difficulty is arising becomes complicated, not easy and fluid as it once was. We no longer take things at face value, but rather spend greater time and energy to interpret what things mean. As our communication becomes more difficult, we find it harder and harder to express our perceptions and feelings. We also find it more difficult to understand what others are doing and saying, and may develop feelings of uneasiness and anxiety. This is often accompanied by a growing sense of urgency and frustration as the conflict progresses, especially if no end is in sight.

If someone uninvolved in the situation asks what the conflict is about, our initial explanations will typically be framed in terms of the specific issues the parties are dealing with. This is the content of the conflict, the immediate problems that must be resolved through problem solving and negotiation .

However, the transformational approach addresses this situation somewhat differently. This is because conflict transformation is more than a set of specific techniques. It is about a way of looking and seeing, and it provides a set of lenses through which we make sense of social conflict. These lenses draw our attention to certain aspects of conflict, and help us to bring the overall meaning of the conflict into sharper focus.

Before proceeding further, I should describe what I mean by a lens as a transformational tool. I recently purchased a set of glasses that have what are called progressive lenses. This means that in my eyeglasses I have three different lens types in the same frame. One lens helps bring into focus things at a great distance that would otherwise be a blur. A second brings objects that are at mid-range into a clear picture. The third helps me read a book or thread a fish line through a hook.

It is interesting to note three things about my new glasses and how they relate to a transformational view. First, if I try to use the close-up lens to see at a distance, the lens is counterproductive and useless. Each lens has its function and serves to bring a specific aspect of reality into focus. But when it brings that layer of reality in focus, other layers are placed in a blur. If you look through a camera with a telephoto lens or through a microscope at a slide of bacteria you can find this happening in dramatic fashion.

Second, no one lens is capable of bringing everything into focus. Rather, I need multiple lenses to see different aspects of a complex reality, and cannot rely exclusively on one lens to see the multiple layers of complexity.

Third, the three lenses are held together in a single frame. I need each of the different lenses to see a particular portion of reality, and I need them to be integrated to see the whole picture. Thus, we need lenses that help us address specific aspects of conflict as well as a framework that holds them together in order to see the conflict as a whole.

So what are useful lenses that bring varying aspects of conflict complexity into focus and at the same time create a picture of the whole? This essay will suggest three.

  • First, we need a lens to see the immediate situation.
  • Second, we need a lens to see past the immediate problems and view the deeper relationship patterns that form the context of the conflict. This goes beyond finding a quick solution to the problem at hand, and seeks to address what is happening in human relationships at a deeper level.
  • Third, we need a lens that helps us envision a framework that holds these together and creates a platform to address the content, the context, and the structure of the relationship. From this platform, parties can begin to find creative responses and solutions.

Conflict Transformation: A Simple Definition

Although the definition is relatively short, its various components lend it a degree of complexity. To better understand conflict transformation, an explanation of each component is needed. Together, these components attempt to capture the attitudes and orientations we bring to creative conflict transformation, the starting point of such an approach, and the various change processes involved in such an approach.

To Envision and Respond : A transformational approach begins with two pro-active foundations: 1) a positive orientation toward conflict, and 2) a willingness to engage in the conflict in an effort to produce constructive change or growth. While conflict often produces long-standing cycles of hurt and destruction, the key to transformation is the capacity to envision conflict as having the potential for constructive change. Response, on the other hand, suggests a bias toward direct involvement and an increased understanding that comes from real-life experience. Both "envision" and "respond" represent the ways we orient ourselves toward the presence of conflict in our lives, relationships, and communities.

Ebb and Flow: Conflict is a natural part of relationships. While relationships are sometimes calm and predictable, at other times events and circumstances generate tensions and instability. A transformational view, rather than looking at isolated conflict episodes, seeks to understand how these particular episodes are embedded in the greater pattern of human relationships. Change is understood both at the level of immediate issues and the broader patterns of interaction.

Life-Giving Opportunities : On the one hand, this phrase suggests that life gives us conflict, and that conflict is a natural part of human experience and relationships. Rather than viewing conflict as a threat, the transformative view sees conflict as a valuable opportunity to grow and increases our understanding of ourselves and others. Conflict helps us stop, assess and take notice. Without it, life would be a monotonous flat topography of sameness and our relationships would be woefully superficial. This phrase also suggests that conflict creates life and keeps everything moving. It can be understood as a motor of change that keeps relationships and social structures dynamically responsive to human needs.

Constructive Change Processes : This notion emphasizes the capacity of the transformational approach to build new things. Conflict transformation begins with a central goal: to build constructive change out of the energy created by conflict. By focusing this energy on the underlying relationships and social structures, constructive changes can be brought about. The key here is to move conflict away from destructive processes and toward constructive ones. The primary task of conflict transformation is not to find quick solutions to immediate problems, but rather to generate creative platforms that can simultaneously address surface issues and change underlying social structures and relationship patterns.

Reduce Violence and Increase Justice : Transformation must be able to respond to life's on-the-ground challenges, needs, and realities. How do we address conflict in ways that reduce violence and increase justice in human relationships? To reduce violence we must address both the obvious issues and content of any given dispute and also their underlying patterns and causes. To increase justice we must ensure that people have access to political procedures and voice in the decisions that affect their lives.

Conflict transformation views peace as centered and rooted in the quality of relationships. This includes both face-to-face interactions and the ways in which we structure our social, political, economic, and cultural relationships. In this sense, peace is a "process-structure," a phenomenon that is simultaneously dynamic, adaptive, and changing. In essence, rather than seeing peace as a static "end-state," conflict transformation views peace as a continuously evolving and developing quality of relationship. It is defined by intentional efforts to address the natural rise of human conflict through nonviolent approaches that address issues and increase understanding, equality, and respect in relationships.

Direct Interaction and Social Structures: The above concerns about violence and justice suggest that we need to develop capacities to engage in change processes at the interpersonal, inter-group, and social-structural levels. One set of capacities points toward direct, face-to-face interaction between people or groups. The other set underscores the need to see, pursue, and create change in our ways of organizing social structures, from families, to complex bureaucracies, to structures at the global level. This requires a capacity to understand and sustain dialogue as a fundamental means of constructive change.

Indeed, many of the skill-based mechanisms that reduce violence are rooted in communicative capacities to exchange ideas, find common definitions, and move toward solutions. But dialogue also plays a crucial role in the maintenance or change of social structures. Through dialogue, these structures can be modified to be more responsive and just.

Human Relationships: Relationships are at the heart of conflict transformation.

Rather than concentrating exclusively on the content and substance of the dispute, the transformational approach suggests that the key to understanding conflict and developing creative change processes lies in seeing the less visible aspects of relationship . While the issues over which people fight are important and require creative response, relationships represent a web of connections that form the broader context of the conflict. It is out of this relationship context that particular issues arise and either become volatile or get quickly resolved.

Conflict and Change

Both conflict and change are a normal part of human life. Conflict is continuously present in human relationships, and the fabric of these relationships is constantly adapting and changing. Before discussing practical approaches to conflict transformation, it is important to better understand the link between conflict and change.

There are four central modes in which conflict impacts situations and changes things:

  • the personal,
  • the relational,
  • the structural, and
  • the cultural.[2]

In addition, we can think about these changes in response to two questions. First, from a descriptive view, what does conflict change? And second, from the standpoint of responding to conflict as it arises, what kind of changes do we seek? In the first arena, we are simply acknowledging the common patterns and impact of social conflict. In the second, we recognize the need to identify what our values and intentions may be as we actively seek to respond, intervene, and create change.

Transformation understands social conflict as evolving from, and producing changes in, the personal, relational, structural and cultural dimensions of human experience. It seeks to promote constructive processes within each of these dimensions. Minimize destructive effects of social conflict and maximize the potential for personal growth at physical, emotional and spiritual levels. Minimize poorly functioning communication and maximize understanding. Understand and address root causes of violent conflict; promote nonviolent mechanisms; minimize violence; foster structures that meet basic human needs and maximize public participation. Identify and understand the cultural patterns that contribute to the rise of violent expressions of conflict; identify cultural resources for constructively handling conflict.

The personal dimension refers to changes effected in and desired for the individual. This includes the cognitive, emotional, perceptual, and spiritual aspects of human experience over the course of conflict. From a descriptive perspective, transformation suggests that individuals are affected by conflict in both negative and positive ways. For example, conflict affects our physical well-being, self-esteem, emotional stability, capacity to perceive accurately, and spiritual integrity. Prescriptively, (i.e., relating to what one should do) transformation represents deliberate intervention to minimize the destructive effects of social conflict and maximize its potential for individual growth at physical, emotional, and spiritual levels.

The relational dimension depicts the changes affected in and desired for the face-to-face relationships. Here issues of emotions, power, and interdependence, and the communicative and interactive aspects of conflict are central. Descriptively, transformation refers to how the patterns of communication and interaction in relationships are affected by conflict. It looks beyond visible issues to the underlying changes produced by conflict in how people perceive, what they pursue, and how they structure their relationships. Most significantly, social conflict makes explicit how close or distant people wish to be, how they will use and share power, what they perceive of themselves and each other, and what patterns of interaction they wish to have. Prescriptively, transformation represents intentional intervention to minimize poorly functioning communication and maximize mutual understanding. This includes efforts to bring to the surface in a more explicit manner the relational fears, hopes and goals of the people involved.

The structural dimension highlights the underlying causes of conflict, and stresses the ways in which social structures, organizations, and institutions are built, sustained, and changed by conflict. It is about the ways people build and organize social, economic, and institutional relationships to meet basic human needs and provide access to resources and decision-making. At the descriptive level transformation refers to the analysis of social conditions that give rise to conflict and the way that conflict affects social structural change in existing social, political and economic institutions.

At a prescriptive level, transformation represents efforts to provide insight into underlying causes and social conditions that create and foster violent expressions of conflict, and to promote nonviolent mechanisms that reduce adversarial interaction and minimize violence. Pursuit of this change fosters structures that meet basic human needs ( substantive justice ) and maximize people's participation in decisions that affect them ( procedural justice ).

The cultural dimension refers to the ways that conflict changes the patterns of group life as well as the ways that culture affects the development of processes to handle and respond to conflict. At a descriptive level, transformation seeks to understand how conflict affects and changes cultural patterns of a group, and how those accumulated and shared patterns affect the way people in a given context understand and respond to conflict. Prescriptively, transformation seeks to uncover the cultural patterns that contribute to violence in a given context, and to identify and build on existing cultural resources and mechanisms for handling conflict.

The Big Picture: Connecting Resolution and Transformation

The transformation metaphor provides an expanded view of time, situates issues and crises within a framework of relationships and social context, and creates a lens to look at both solutions and ongoing changes.

Thus far we have discussed the concepts that make up the various components of conflict transformation. We now want to move from the concept of transformation to the practice of transformation. We must therefore establish an operative frame of reference for thinking about and developing the design of transformational approaches. Our starting point requires the development of an image of our purpose, or what I call the "big picture." Since intractable conflicts are usually quite complex, developing a "big picture" helps us to develop a purpose and direction. Without it, especially in the arena of intractable conflict, we can easily find ourselves responding to a myriad of issues without a clear understanding of what our responses add up to. We can solve lots of problems without necessarily creating any significant constructive social change at a deeper level.

 
The key question How do we end something not desired? How to end something destructive and build something desired?
The focus It is content-centered. It is relationship-centered.
The purpose To achieve an agreement and solution to the presenting problem creating the crisis. To promote constructive change processes, inclusive of -- but not limited to -- immediate solutions.
The development of the process It is embedded and built around the immediacy of the relationship where the presenting problems appear. It is concerned with responding to symptoms engaging the systems within which relationships are embedded.
Time frame The horizon is short-term. The horizon is mid- to long-range.
View of conflict It envisions the need to de-escalate conflict processes. It envisions conflict as a dynamic of ebb (conflict de-escalation to pursue constructive change) and flow (conflict escalation to pursue constructive change).

Creating a Map for Conflict Transformation

It is common in the study of conflict to develop a map that helps us to engage in conflict assessment and analysis. Similarly, it is useful to have a map of what we mean by transformation. Figure 1 provides a shortcut overview of such a map, which can help us to visualize the development of a strategy to constructively transform conflict.

This transformational framework has three components, each of which represent a point of inquiry in the development of a response to conflict:

  • the presenting situation,
  • the horizon of preferred future, and
  • the development of change processes linking the two.

The movement from the present toward the desired future is not a straight line, but rather a set of dynamic initiatives that set in motion change processes and create a sustained platform to pursue long-term change. Such a framework emphasizes the challenge of how to end something not desired and how to build something that is desired.

Inquiry 1: The Presenting Situation

The first point of inquiry is the presenting situation, the conflict episode that provides an opportunity to look both at the content of the dispute and the patterns of relationship in the context in which the dispute is expressed. This is graphically represented in Figure 1 as a set of embedded circles or spheres.

A transformational view raises two important questions: What are the immediate problems that need to be solved? What is the overall context that needs to be addressed in order to change destructive patterns? In other words, transformation views the presenting issues as an expression of the larger system of relationship patterns. It moves beyond the "episodic" expression of the conflict and focuses on the relational and historical patterns in which the conflict is rooted.

Put another way, presenting issues connect the present with the past. The patterns of how things have been in the past provide a context in which the issues in a dispute rise toward the surface. But while they create an opportunity to remember and recognize, presenting issues do not have the power to change what has already transpired. The potential for change lies in our ability to recognize, understand, and redress what has happened, and create new structures and ways of interacting in the future.

Inquiry 2: The Horizon of the Future

The second point of inquiry is the horizon of the future, the image of what we wish to create. It asks us to consider what we would ideally like to see in place.

However, this is not simply a model of linear change, in which there is movement from the present situation to the desired future. While the presenting issues act as an impetus toward change, the horizon of the future points toward possibilities of what could be constructed and built. It represents a social energy that informs and creates orientation. Thus, the arrow points not only forward to the future, but also back toward the immediate situation and the range of change processes that may emerge. This combination of arrows suggests that transformation is both a circular and a linear process, or what we will refer to here as a process structure .

Inquiry 3: The Development of Change Processes

The final major inquiry is the design and support of change processes . This broader component requires that we think about response to conflict as the development of change processes that attend to the web of interconnected needs, relationships, and patterns. Because the change processes should address both the immediate problems and the broader relational and structural patterns, we need to reflect on multiple levels and types of change rather than focusing on a single operational solution. Change processes must not only promote short-term solutions, but also build platforms capable of promoting long-term social change.

Taken as a whole, this big picture provides a lens that permits us to envision the possibilities of immediate response and longer-term constructive change. It requires a capacity to see through and beyond the presenting issues to the deeper patterns, while at the same time seeking creative responses that address real-life issues in real time. However, to more fully understand this approach we need to explore in greater depth how platforms for constructive change are conceptualized and developed as process structures.

Process Structures: Platforms for Transformation

We come now to the operational side of transformation. The key challenge is how to support and sustain a platform with a capacity to adapt and generate ongoing desired change while at the same time responding creatively to immediate needs. To engage this challenge we have to think about platforms as process structures.

In modern physics, process structures are natural phenomena that are dynamic, adaptive and changing, and yet at the same time sustain a functional and recognizable form and structure.[3] Margaret Wheately refers to them as "things that maintain form over time yet have no rigidity of structure."[4] The two terms that make up this term, "process" and "structure," point to two interdependent characteristics: adaptability and purpose. Transformational change processes must feature both of these characteristics. They must be both linear and circular.

Conflict transformation is a circular journey with a purpose.

In simple terms, linear means that things move from one point to the next in a straight line. It is associated with a rational-logical understanding of events in terms of cause and effect. However, in the social arena, events are likely moving along broad directions not always visible from a short-term perspective. In this arena, a linear perspective asks us to stand back and take a look at the overall direction of social conflict and the change we seek. It requires us to articulate how we think things are related and how movement is created. Specifically, it asks us to look at the patterns of interaction, not just the immediate experience, and understand the changes in these broad patterns.

Circular understanding suggests that we need to think carefully about how social change actually develops. This notion of circularity underscores some defining elements of transformational change processes. First, it reminds us that things are connected and in relationship. Second, it suggests that the growth of something often "nourishes" itself from its own process and dynamic. In other words, it operates as a feedback loop. Third, and most critical to our inquiry, an emphasis on circularity makes it clear that processes of change are not unidirectional. Figure 2 represents change as a circle, featuring four experiences common to those in the midst of a difficult conflict.

  • There are times when we feel as if desired change is happening. Things move forward and progress, and what we hope to build seems to be in sight.
  • At other times, we feel as if we have reached an impasse or "hit a wall." Nothing is happening or all pathways forward seemed blocked.
  • Sometimes we feel as if the change processes are going backwards, and what has been achieved is being undone. In worst-case scenarios we hear language like, "In a single stroke, years of work have been set back." Common to the change process is the feeling that we are "swimming against the tide" or headed upstream.
  • Finally, we sometimes feel like we are living through a complete breakdown. It seems as if everything is falling apart and collapsing. These periods tend to be deeply depressing, and are often accompanied by the repeated echoes of "we have to start from ground zero."

All of these experiences are integral parts of the change process and provide us with some important insights about change. First, no one point in time determines the broader pattern. Rather, change encompasses different sets of patterns and directions. Second, we should be cautious about going forward too quickly. Sometimes going back may create more innovative ways forward, and falling down may create new opportunities to build. Third, we should be aware that life is never static and that we must constantly adapt.

Figure 3 represents a simple process structure, which features a web of dynamic circles that create an overall momentum and direction. One might think of this as a rotini, a spiral made up of multi-directional internal patterns that create a common overall movement. It features both the purpose associated with linearity and the feedback loops associated with circularity.

The key to create a platform for transformation in the midst of social conflict lies in holding together a healthy dose of both circular and linear perspectives. A transformational platform is essentially this: The building of an on-going and adaptive base at the epicenter of conflict from which it is possible to generate processes that create solutions to short-term needs and provide a capacity to work on strategic long-term constructive change in systemic relational context.

We can visualize this idea in Figure 4 by adding to our process-structure the rising escalation of conflict episodes. In order to understand a transformational platform, we need to visualize the idea of an on-going base from which processes can be generated. The escalation of conflict creates opportunity to establish and sustain this base. From the transformational view, developing a process to provide a solution to the presenting problem is important but not the key. Central to transformation is building a base that generates processes that 1) provide adaptive responses to the immediate and future iterations of conflict episodes, and 2) address the deeper and longer-term relational and systemic patterns that produce violent, destructive expressions of conflict.

In other words, a conflict-transformation platform must be short-term responsive and long-term strategic. The defining characteristic of such a platform is the capacity to generate and re-generate change processes responsive to both immediate episodes and the relational context. It is in this way an adaptive process-structure, one that can produce creative solutions to a variety of problems.

Practices For Transformational Strategies

In earlier sections, I described conflict transformation as a set of lenses that combine to create a way to look at social conflict and develop responses. Here I explore how to make this framework applicable by outlining several core practices that are useful in addressing social conflict from a transformational approach.

Practice 1: Develop a capacity to see presenting issues as a window

A transformational approach relies on a capacity to see the immediate situation without being overwhelmed by the demands of presenting issues, the urgency that pushes for a quick solution, and the anxieties that often develop as conflict escalates. The pursuit of broader transformational goals requires us to look beyond the immediate problems and to see these issues as a window. Just as we look through the glass, focusing our attention on what lies beyond the window, we look through the immediate issues to discover the relational context and the underlying causes of conflict. This is what some authors have called the capacity to see the difference between content of a conflict and its emotional and relational context.[5]

Practice 2: Develop a capacity to integrate multiple time frames

Approaching the immediate situation as a window also involves the ability to think about change without being constrained by a short-term view of time. This is not to say that short-term perspectives are never appropriate. The key is the ability to recognize the needs of multiple time frames and create strategies that integrate short-term response with long-term change. Addressing immediate episodes and broader relationship patterns requires processes with different time frames. Processes that will be effective in one case are not likely to be effective in another. For the transformation-oriented practitioner, the key capacity is an ability to recognize what sorts of processes and time frames may be needed to address the different kinds of change.

Practice 3: Develop a capacity to pose the energies of conflict as dilemmas

Posing conflicts as dilemmas involves shifting from an either/or frame of reference to a both/and frame of reference. In settings of sustained violence, we sometimes face what appear to be impossible decisions that involve outright contradictions. For example, those of us working in relief and aid agencies in Somalia in the early 1990s struggled with choices about where to put our energies and responses when none of the apparent options seemed adequate. Should we send food and relief aid even though we know armed groups will take advantage of it to continue the war, or should we not send food but then feel helpless about the enormous humanitarian plight? Far too often how we framed our questions limited our strategies. Framing choices in rigid either/or terms made it difficult to handle complexity .

A shift in thinking emerged when we reframed our questions to reflect the legitimacy of different but not incompatible goals. Rather than accepting a frame of reference that posed our situation as choosing between one important goal or another, we reframed the questions in terms of interdependent goals. How can we build capacities for peace in this setting and at the same time create responsive mechanisms for the delivery of humanitarian aid? The formula is this: How can we address "A" and at the same time build "B"? This way of formulating the question creates a capacity to recognize different but interdependent aspects of a complex situation and develop integrative responses. The capacity to reframe conflict in this way enables us to more clearly identify our goals and seek innovative options for action.

Practice 4: Develop a capacity to make complexity a friend, not a foe

In conflicts, especially when there has been a long history of patterns and episodes that were not constructively addressed, people feel overwhelmed. It may seem that that situation is just too complicated, that there are too many things going on to even try to explain it. At times of escalated conflict, complexity describes a situation in which we feel forced to live with multiple and competing frames of reference about what things mean. We are also faced with lots of things happening at multiple levels, between different sets of people, all at the same time. This often leads to a sense of ambiguity, which produces three feelings: we feel insecure about what it all means, we are not sure where it is going, and we feel as if we have little or no control over what happens. This often leads people to seek escape or to find a quick solution.

But in order to constructively deal with complexity, we must make it a friend rather than a foe and recognize its potential for building desired change. One of the great advantages of complexity is that change is not tied exclusively to one thing, action or option. The first key is to trust the capacity of systems to generate options and avenues for change. Second, we must pursue those options that appear to hold the greatest promise for constructive change. Third, we must not lock rigidly onto to one idea or approach. The potential avenues of change generated in complex systems are numerous. Complexity is especially a friend when cycles and episodes of conflict seem to narrow toward the same outcomes every time. It is here that paying careful attention to the multiplicity of options can create new ways to look at old patterns.

Practice 5: Develop a capacity to hear and engage the voice of identity and relationship

We have mentioned time and again the need to look for and see the patterns in the context that underpin the presenting situation. This involves an ability to recognize and then develop response processes that engage the deeper core of the conflict. Two central "root causes" of social conflict are identity and relationship.

Identity is best understood as a relational dynamic that is constantly being redefined. It is not primarily about negotiating an agreement to solve a material problem, but rather is about protecting a sense of self and group survival. While it is rarely explicitly addressed, identity shapes and moves the expression of conflict. At the deepest level it is lodged in the narratives of how people see themselves, who they are, where they come from, and what they fear they will become. It is also deeply rooted in their relationships with others.

A central challenge for transformation is how to create spaces and processes that encourage people to address and articulate a positive sense of identity in relationship to others but not in reaction to them. This can be accomplished in three ways.

  • First, be attentive to language, metaphors, and expressions that signal the distresses of identity. In order to deal with core issues of identity, one must acknowledge them as issues.
  • Second, move toward appeals to identity rather than away from them. Acknowledge that the conflict requires a process that more explicitly addresses issues of identity and relationship. Generating solutions to immediate problems is not enough.
  • Third, design transformation processes as dynamic platforms that create repeating patterns of exchange and exploration rather than produce immediate negotiated solutions.

Three guiding principles that characterize this process of exchange and exploration: honesty, iterative (i.e. repeating and cumulative) learning, and appropriate exchange .

  • First, we should work toward the creation of spaces where people feel safe enough to be deeply honest with themselves and others about their fears, hopes, hurts and responsibilities. Honesty reflects parties' sense of safety and builds trust .
  • Second, we must create multiple points of access and repetitive examination for addressing identity. The negotiation and definition of identity is a complex process that requires processes of interaction with others as well as inner reflection about self. Identity work is not a one-time decision-making process, but rather an ongoing learning process about self and other. This requires an iterative platform for addressing identity concerns within a framework of broader constructive change.
  • Third, appropriate exchange calls attention to the need to design work on identity in ways that respect people. Beyond direct face-to-face dialogue , there are many ways that learning and deepening understanding about identity and relationship can occur. This includes dialogue-as-music, dialogue-as-sport, and dialogue-as-shared-work to preserve old city centers, parks and mountains. All of these may do more than traditional dialogue to advance learning and understanding.

In addition, it is important to be attentive to people's perceptions of how identity is linked to power and the definition of the systems and structures that organize and govern their relationships. This is particularly important for people who feel their identity is eroded, marginalized or under deep threat. When addressing identity-based concerns, processes must strive to understand the roots of people's perceptions and address the systemic changes needed to assure access and respectful participation.

Conclusions

May the warmth of complexity shine on your face.
May the winds of good change blow gently at your back.
May your feet find the roads of authenticity.
May the web of change begin!

The lenses of conflict transformation focus on the potential for constructive change emergent from and catalyzed by the rise of social conflict. Because the potential for broader change is inherent in any episode of conflict, from personal to structural levels, the lenses can easily be applied to a wide range of conflicts.

A key advantage to this framework lies in its capacity to think about multiple avenues of response. To use our earlier comparison, we suggested that transformation builds on and integrates the contribution and strengths of conflict-resolution approaches. A transformational approach inquires about both the specifics, immediately apparent in the episode of conflict, as well as the potential for broader constructive and desired change.

Clearly there are arenas in which transformation is limited and a quick and direct resolution of the problem is more appropriate. In disputes where parties need a quick and final solution to a problem and do not have a significant relationship, they typically appeal to negotiation and mediation . In such cases the exploration of relational and structural patterns are of limited value. For example, a one-time business dispute over a payment between two people who hardly know each other and will never have contact again is not a context to explore a transformational application.

However, in cases where parties share an extensive past and have the potential for significant future relationships, and where the episodes arise in an organizational, community or broader social context, simple resolution approaches may be too narrow. Though they may solve the immediate problems, they miss the greater potential for constructive change. This is even more significant in contexts where there are repeated and deep-rooted cycles of conflict episodes that have created destructive and violent patterns. In such cases, avenues to promote transformational change should be pursued.

Conflict transformation places before us some big questions: Where are we headed? Why do we do this work? What are we hoping to contribute and build? Increasingly, I am convinced that those in the alternative dispute-resolution field and the vast majority of people and communities who wish to find more constructive ways to address conflict in their lives were drawn to the perspectives and practices of conflict resolution because they wanted change. They wanted human societies to move from violent and destructive patterns toward the potential for creative, constructive and nonviolent capacities to deal with human conflict. This means replacing patterns of violence and coercion with respect, creative problem-solving, increased dialogue , and nonviolent mechanisms of social change. To accomplish this, a complex web of change processes under-girded by a transformational understanding of life and relationship is needed.

This essay was written 14 years ago, but the concepts presented are just as relevant today as they were then and are particularly important as we try to figure out what to do with all the very intractable conflicts that are facing us. Resolution -- of the political conflicts in the US and Europe, of the violent identity conflicts in the Middle East and Africa, of the clashes over sovereignty and borders in Asia -- seems pretty much impossible. Transformation of the conflicts from destructive to less so, perhaps even to constructive engagements is certainly more feasible and much better than "giving up."

Note also Lederach's use of "multiple lenses" and multiple "change strategies."  Both are essential parts of dealing with the complexity of today's very complex and rapidly changing conflict landscapes.  Rather than becoming outdated, I would argue that this conflict transformation approach is needed even more now than when this essay was originally written.  --Heidi Burgess, Feb. 2017

Back to Essay Top

[1] This essay is an excerpt from John Paul Lederach's book "The Little Book of Conflict Transformation, published by Good Books, 2003. Conflict Research Consortium graduate student Michelle Maise condensed the 70+ pages of material in the original draft of that manuscript (with John Paul's and the publisher's permission) into this essay.

[2] See Preparing for Peace (Syracuse University Press, 1995) and Building Peace (US Institute of Peace Press, 1999).

[3] See Margaret Wheatley's discussion of this in reference to learning organizations in Leadership and the New Sciences , San Francisco: Barrett-Koehler, Publishers, 1994.

[4] Wheately, 1994:16.

[5] See Hocker and Wilmot's discussion of content and relationship in Interpersonal Conflict or Edwin Friedman's discussion of anxiety, emotional process and symptomatic content in Generation to Generation .

Use the following to cite this article: Lederach, John Paul. "Conflict Transformation." Beyond Intractability . Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict Information Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Posted: October 2003 < http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/transformation >.

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Human Relationships

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Exam Question Bank: Paper 2 Human Relationships

Travis Dixon April 28, 2019 Assessment (IB) , Human Relationships , Revision and Exam Preparation

what is an human relationships essay

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Disclaimer : These questions are not IB “official” questions and are written with our best guess as to what the probable exam questions may look like. Not every  possible question is covered but rather a wide sample of questions has been asked so you can get an idea of the types of questions that may appear.

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The exam questions will be based on the topic and content headings as shown above (This table is taken from our revision guide, available here ). There will be one question per topic.

Exam Questions

Approaches (Bio, Cog & Socio-cult)

If questions about the three core approaches are asked they will be based on the three “topics” for the human relationships option (personal relationships, group dynamics and social responsibility).

Personal Relationships

  • Discuss the biological or cognitive approach to understanding personal relationships.
  • Discuss the sociocultural approach to understanding personal relationships.
  • Contrast the biological and cognitive approaches to understanding personal relationships.

Group Dynamics

  • Discuss the sociocultural and/or cognitive approach to understanding group dynamics
  • Evaluate the sociocultural approach to understanding group dynamics.

Social Responsibility

  • Discuss the biological approach to understanding social responsibility.
  • Evaluate the biological or cognitive approach to the study of social responsibility.
  • Discuss the sociocultural approach to understanding social responsibility.

Research Methods & Ethical Considerations

Questions about research methods and ethics will be based on the three “topics” for the human relationships option (personal relationships, group dynamics and social responsibility).

Research Methods

Essay Questions

  • Evaluate the use of one research method used to study personal relationships.
  • Evaluate one or more research methods used to study social responsibility.
  • Evaluate one research method used to study group dynamics.
  • Discuss how and why one research method is used to study group dynamics.
  • Discuss the use of one research method used to study personal relationships.
  • Evaluate one approach to the research of social responsibility.
  • Discuss one or more approaches to research (i.e. research method/s) used in the study of personal relationships.

*the phrase “approaches to research” is used in the official IB Psychology guide and it means “research methods” (e.g. true experiments, correlational studies, etc.) Students should be prepared for this phrasing, but hopefully the IB exam team will use the phrase “research methods” so as not to get confused with the three approaches (bio, cog & socio-cult). 

Ethical Considerations

  • Discuss one or more ethical considerations related to research on personal relationships.
  • Discuss one ethical considerations related to research on group dynamics.
  • Discuss one ethical considerations related to research on social responsibility.
  • Paper Two is essay questions only.
  • SL students write one essay for one option, HL students write two essays on two options.
  • Like all options, there are three topics in the human relationships option and there will definitely be one question per topic , which means you can safely study only one topic per option. HOWEVER, if you’re doing this then you need to be prepared to answer  any  possible question on that topic, including the three approaches, research methods and ethical considerations in relation to that topic.

Noticed a mistake? Always feel free to let me know in the comments.

Travis Dixon

Travis Dixon is an IB Psychology teacher, author, workshop leader, examiner and IA moderator.

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